Hey Everyone!

I know I haven’t been posting much.  I appologize.  I have been so into writing my book that it is essentially all that I do these days.  I haven’t left my place in days. 

I had a great week last week.  I spoke four times in Salmon Arm at SASS and also in Chilliwack at GW Graham.  Every audience was awesome!  I am so stoked to be back doing what I love most - inspiring you!

I’m stoked to hear that people are also checking out the post secondary schools on my home page.  You know I never really did have much of a plan in high school and in so many ways it led me into trouble.  If you are interested in following your dream or attending post secondary school check out the links on my home page and fill out the forms for more information.  There are some sick programs like web design, video game design, nursing, business… etc… VCAD has some of the coolest programs I have seen offered at a school - though I am the creative type.  The best way to get anything done is… well to just have at er. I think if I learned one thing this summer that is it.  I have always wanted to learn guitar.  I have wanted to write a book for years.  I kept saying that I was going to do both but neither happened.  Now I have quit saying I am going to and I am doing both. 

The book is coming along really nicely.  The entire experience has been a journey of self exploration and I am learning so much about myself and my past.  I have looked back often at my younger more troubled years, but I never used to ask why.  Now that I am putting it all on paper these questions are not only being asked, but I am also digging deep to find the answers.

The end result I believe is going to be a very knarly book with a lot of valuable life lessons that I am stoked to share with my readers.  In the coming months expect to see a website up and running dedicated entirely to my book.  Keep checking in here as I will be posting bits and pieces monthly for your review and soon I will unveil the title.  Any guesses???  I’ll give you a hint.  I say it in my presentation and a lot of you do it.

Guitar is also still coming along nicely, though it has taken a bit of a backseat to my book.  And also NHL 2010 for XBOX.  OMG that is the best game ever!  I am trying to do all three every day.  Balance.  Life is all about balance.  Last Friday I went to my buddy Kev’s place and played his electric guitar for the first time.  I was hooked instantly.  I had wrote this pretty mellow acoustic song and once I got plugged into the electric that puppy got cranked and sped up to a sick new punk rock song.  Yesterday I was playing my song as fast as I could on acoustic, and it reminded me of old Against Me!  I have also still been rocking out to old Metallica, Alkaline Trio and anything else I can pick up.

Well that is about it.  I am finally going to venture outside to experience what fresh air feels like again.  Apparently it is a lot colder out now than the last time I went outside.

Over.

Kevin

PS.  If you like punk rock or metal check out the new Strung Out album: Agents of the Underground.  It is absolutely amazing!  I got it yesterday and can’t wait to hear what it sounds like in my truck.

So if you regularly follow my blog you have likely noticed I don’t regularly post like I did say last spring.  I have been working on other projects: learning guitar and now FINALLY writing my book.  I have made many attempts at writing my book and all of them so far have fallen short or I have lost interest or had a brain fart… whatever.

Well this time I think it actually happening.  I am just under 20, 000 words in now, which is just over 40 computer pages.  I feel it is safe to say that the ball is rolling and it ain`t going to stop until this puppy is done.

I am really stoked with what I have written so far.  I am totally motivated to just write and write and now am doing some editing.  I have edited what might be the first Chapter or an interlude and I wanted to share it with my friends and loyal blog followers to get your opinion.

Please have a read and let me know what you think.  For some reason I feel I need to add the disclaimer that I am not holding back on this book.  It will be raw and it will be honest and I am sure many parts will be shocking.  Hey to me that sounds like a good read…

 

CHAPTER 1 - Take Warning

 

         

          I pulled into the gas station in Westbank, BC and breathed a sigh of relief.  I’d just driven three hours non-stop to get to our destination, and I needed a stretch.  My passenger and good buddy Tim and I stepped out of my car almost in tandem.  I went straight to the back of the car to pop the trunk and check on our refreshments as if they may have disappeared in transit.  They were all there alright.  In a rare act of responsibility neither Tim nor I have given in to the temptation to crack one of the dozens of icy cold beers sitting in a cooler in the trunk of my 1991 Chevy Cavalier on that warm spring night in May 2000.  Yet it wouldn’t be long until we did.

 

          It was the Friday of May Long Weekend and we were on our way to Kelowna, British Columbia for our annual camping trip.  Tim and I were just two of many friends who would be making the trip this year.  We were both excited.  This camping trip marked the beginning of the summer, even though summer was officially still a month away.  The warm dry weather in Westbank resembled the weather in July in the Lower Mainland, where we both lived.  The dry desert heat had yet to fully cool into the night.  We stood outside enjoying the warmth of the evening.

 

          Each year we made the Kelowna trip the plan was essentially the same: drink, skateboard, try and meet girls (but usually get too wasted) and get crazy.   This year would be no different; however we never once thought that it would be the last annual camping trip to Kelowna and the end of a tradition.  The tradition had only started a couple of years earlier, yet these camping trips were the setting for epic stories of partying, rowdiness and all out chaos – stories that would be hashed and rehashed for years to follow. 

 

          It was no secret that each year seemed to get crazier than the last, and this year we had a pretty big crew of us to tear it up in the sunny Okanagan city.  Kelowna had a vibe – an energy – that was felt as soon as we hit town.  We were away from home and the possibilities for good times seemed endless.  Kelowna had beaches, lakes, skateboard parks, beautiful girls, great weather, night clubs and strip bars and anything else an adventure seeker in their early twenties might hope to find.  Yes, we were going to make this yet another camping trip to be remembered and talked about for years to come.

 

Tim and I fought the temptation of cracking one of the cold beers as we stood thirsty in the gas station parking lot.  “Just imagine how tasty they will be when we get there,” I teased. 

 

          “Alright let’s go dude.  I can’t wait much longer,” Tim said and off we went.

 

          We pulled into the familiar campsite at Wood Lake, just outside of Kelowna, at night fall.  A lot of our friends were already sitting around a campfire drinking and sharing stories and laughs.  Things looked quite organized.  Tents were set up, barbeques were assembled and coolers full of beer, liquor and mix were chilling beside their rightful owners who were all seated comfortably in cozy lawn chairs.  Looking around the camp site I could sense that this was a mellow gathering.  The group was mostly made up of couples, and they were enjoying themselves rather calmly and quietly for the most part.  But all of that would change now that Tim and I had showed up.  It was show time.

 

          On this night, and many others, it was starting to feel kind of like there were two different crowds at our parties.  We were at the age when we were either beginning to act like young adults or still acting like crazy teenagers.  On this night and throughout the weekend there were those of us who were going to party and have fun, and there were those of us who were going to party excessively and act absolutely stupid and reckless.  The latter was my group.  Although I had brought a tent up – a gift from my 20^th birthday – there was a very good chance it would never see the outside of the box.  I was in Kelowna to drink until I dropped and wherever I dropped was where I would sleep, tent or no tent

 

          For me the night was pretty much a write off from the time Tim and I arrived.  We started our party by drinking two beers to everyone else’s one.  As I got progressively more intoxicated I started to crave a little more excitement than the campfire surrounded by couples I was sitting at had to offer.  I knew that some wilder friends had rented a cabin not too far away and decided that I would go and pay them a visit.

 

          I walked through the darkened campground beers in hand talking to my buddy Randy on the phone while he gave directions.  It was a good walk and a challenge not to get lost.  As I approached the campground, I could hear the party in the cabin before I could see it.  I stepped up to the doorway but didn’t bother knocking on the door because I knew there was no way anyone would hear it.  I turned the door knob and stepped inside, case of beer in hand, to absolute chaos.  As people noticed me, I heard the usual BROOKSIE yelled loud over the blasting punk rock music on the stereo. The place was getting thrashed, and it was all being recorded on video.  This was my kind of party.  My cabin buddies weren’t just drinking, they were also eating mushrooms.  Never one to turn anything down, and in my drunken state of poor judgment, mushrooms seemed like a good idea.  I ate way too many (not that there is really a healthy dose) and continued with my excessive drinking.

 

          It wasn’t long before the effects of the mushrooms started to overshadow the effects of the alcohol.  I was not feeling very good.  This was definitely not fun.  Worst of all, I had made the brilliant idea of getting completely naked and streaking the campsite.  Once my clothes were off, my so called friends hid all of them on me.  So there I was peaking on mushrooms, completely naked.  I suddenly realized that I didn’t know these people as well as I might want to in my current state.  Things started to take a turn for the worse as I began to get freaked out.  In the process of me flipping out a bit of a struggle occurred and an innocent guy named Paul’s face was not so kindly introduced to my clenched fist.

 

          About the only guy I knew well and trusted well in the cabin was my buddy Randy.  Randy had partied with me enough times to know that I was not in good shape.  He put me to bed after my flip out and told me to sleep it off then he went back to partying with the others.  I lay in that bed, room spinning around me from the alcohol and images distorted from the mushrooms wondering to myself “How did I get this messed up?”

 

          I can’t say that I was surprised because this wasn’t the first time I had been this drunk and high, nor would it be the last.  Yet in a matter of what seemed like only hours I had gone from normal functioning human being to a complete mess.  I wondered why I always took things so far.  So often it ended in a situation like this and quite frankly this was not my idea of a good time.  My eyes started to get heavy, the spinning stopped and I passed out.

 

          The next morning I woke up to find my friends Randy and Scott still awake.  I must have been a pretty scary spectacle because they ran at the sight of me.  I guess I can’t really blame them considering their last memory of me was of a naked Wildman swinging his fists at anyone or anything that moved.  I stumbled over my own feet as I attempted to give chase and ran straight into the door.  I could hardly even walk, let alone run.  I stumbled into the bathroom and looked in the mirror.  My pupils were dilated, and the skin on my face looked like it was warping and stretching.  I felt awful.  I only knew of one way to feel better. I started to drink beers, hoping that alcohol would straighten me up.  I never questioned the logic of this remedy.  I just drank.

 

          Eventually, Scott and Randy sheepishly wandered back to the cabin where they found me drinking a beer.  No longer scared of me, the three of us proceeded to drink all morning.  At one point, Scott and I went for a drive in my car to get cigarettes.  I had no business driving already right back to being wasted, but that didn’t stop me.  Nothing could stop me in those days.  At least I didn’t think anything could.  Rather than driving slow and being cautious, I sped down a gravel road with a beer in my hand and the 80s Goth-Hair band The Cult blasting on my stereo.  Live fast, drink fast, drive fast…  There was never much thought of potential consequences.  I flew by a car that looked an awful lot like a police car. Shit!  Suddenly I saw red and blue lights flashing behind me.  Sure enough, it was a cop, and he was pulling me over.

 

          I quickly stashed my beer and grabbed Scott’s cigarette from his mouth.  I puffed on it in a panic.  We hid our beers as best we could and prepared for the worst.  I continued puffing on the cigarette hoping the smell would overshadow that of alcohol – a trick I had used before.  As we anxiously awaited, the police officer stepped out of his car and approached my driver’s door.  His overall demeanor seemed quite friendly for a police officer, and my anxiety level dropped.

 

          “Do you know how fast you were going,” he asked. 

 

          “I know I was going too fast but am not sure exactly how fast sir,” I replied.

 

          The police officer looked at me with a stern look and said “You were going about 75kms in a 50 zone.  That’s way too fast son.  I’m going to have to see your driver’s license and registration.”

 

          I calmly reached over Scott’s lap to the glove box and opened it.  I could see the beer can between his feet underneath the seat.  My heart started to beat faster.  All I could do was hope the cop didn’t search my car.   I grabbed the documents he had requested slowly and calmly and leaned back to my own seat and passed them to the officer with a smile.

 

          “I’ll just be a few minutes,” he said.

 

          The officer walked away from the car and Scott started up “It’s way too early for him to think we would be drinking man.  We’re all good.  Just take the speeding ticket and be glad you’re not getting an impaired.”

 

          Scott had a way of making the situation seem like it wasn’t that bad.  I had only just met him, but I trusted what he said to me.  Over the years as I got to know Scott better, I learned this is just one of many traits that make Scott one of the funnest guys to hang around with.  Scott’s outlook on life is pretty simple - “if it’s fun or funny, do it.”  His carefree attitude is contagious.  This is probably why he and I became such a formidable team.  In the years following, we were destined for trouble almost any time we got together.  Still to this day I don’t know why anyone would trust a guy with a GG Allin tattoo painted crudely across his chest, but Scott has a way with words.  No wonder why the ladies love him.

 

          We watched in my mirrors as the police officer sat in his patrol car and ran my license plate.  It wasn’t long before he stepped out of his vehicle and returned to mine.  He stood by my driver’s door with a baby blue ticket in his hand.  “I could have given you a much larger ticket for how fast you were going, but I let you off with a bit of a break,” he warned.

 

          His last words before he walked away were “Slow it down a bit ok.”

 

          “Yes sir.  I am sorry.   Thanks for being cool,” I said, and I genuinely meant it.

         

          I had found myself in a potentially messy situation, but got away relatively Scott free – no pun intended.  My life seemed to often go that way.  I could and often would do the stupidest things and take the dumbest risks, yet somehow I would usually get away with whatever it was I was doing.  I always seemed to walk away.  I always seemed to get lucky.  Don’t get me wrong, there were countless times that I got caught and was reprimanded for my actions, but for the most part I was always coming away lucky.  Things could’ve always been worse. 

 

          Looking back on that day like many others, I wish that it had of been worse.  I wish I had of got an impaired or lost my license.  Maybe then the experience would have of woke me up and made me give my head a shake.   Getting away with being a punk that day didn’t do anything but make me feel more invincible than I already did.  That for me was as dangerous of an intoxicant as any alcohol or drug could be.  I had never learned an easy lesson in my life.  I had a serious issue with always pushing the limits until I had gone too far and in return often making life harder than it had to be.  I would not learn a lesson on this day.

 

          Just minutes later, Scott and I were flying in my car again, drinks in hand, while Randy bumper skied behind us in flip-flops.  I flew around one too many corners for Randy and he lost his grip, falling, rolling and skidding his way across the road and onto the gravel shoulder.  Scott and I were laughing as Randy slowly stood up and assessed his injuries.  He was scraped and bleeding but nothing too serious.  His flip flops were ruined, but that was all part of the game.  We all laughed it off and continued to drink into the afternoon.  We were kind of astonished how miraculous it was that Randy wasn’t hurt, but we never did actually let the reality of the situation sink in.  He could have easily been very serious injured, but we didn’t much like thinking about stuff like that.  That wouldn’t be much fun.  And fun in these days was priority number one. 

 

          I parked the car, and we drank by the side of the road for a while listening to 80s metal.  Once the booze was gone, we went back to the mellower of our two campsites to find some more drinks.  Most of our buddies weren’t even awake yet, and Randy, Scott and I were already on our way to being completely annihilated again.  I don’t think anyone there was surprised though.  Randy and I had a reputation for being wild partiers, and it was a reputation that we took serious pride in.  We even had a name for our two man drinking team – The Creatures.  I had only just met Scott, but it took all of about a minute to realize that this guy could easily be Creature #3.  I told everyone who hadn’t been there the story of the cop and the ticket.  I thought it was hilarious.  Everything was a joke to me.  I did stupid stuff just so I could tell my friends the stories afterwards.  Stories I know many looked forward to hearing.  I have had a knack for telling stories from the time when I was a child.  The one thing about my stories is as unreal as they may seem, they are all one hundred percent true.  There has never been a need to exaggerate because for years I was literally out of control.  All the while I was unknowingly writing a book, story by story, that I had never intended to write.  After I told my buddies the story of the ticket, I threw the speeding ticket in the fire and laughed “Like I am ever going to pay that.”

 

          Not everyone was laughing.  I could sense that the two Creatures and the Creature in apprentice were not exactly a welcome sight in the morning.  Our friends knew what they had to look forward to over the rest of the weekend, and it didn’t look pretty.  All of us enjoyed a good time, but nobody enjoyed babysitting adults who had no self control or common sense. 

 

          We continued to drink around the campfire for most of the day.  When we weren’t sitting in our lawn chairs, we played Frisbee and swam in nearby Wood Lake.  When I jumped in the lake, it hit me how drunk I was.  I could hardly even swim, I was so intoxicated.  I swallowed a ton of the gasoline tainted water and felt sick to my stomach afterwards.  The sick feeling wasn’t enough to stop me from drinking more alcohol though, as I continued to slam beers throughout the day.

 

          Around dinner time the entire cooler full of booze I had brought camping was empty.  I had drank my weekend’s supply of booze in less than 24 hours.  Yet I still wanted to get some more.  My friends knew that I was in no shape to drive and pleaded with me to just stay at the campsite.  They even offered their drinks, but I was in no mood to listen.  I could be very stubborn, especially if I was drunk.  Once I had my mind set on something there was little to no chance that I would change it.  Looking back I can now see that quite often it was like I was on a warpath or had a death wish once I got to that point of intoxication.  Wanting to drive that day was just one example in a long list of bad choices that I was making on a pretty regular basis.  I was very drunk; I wanted to drive; I knew deep down I shouldn’t but I didn’t care - at least the booze corrupting my judgment didn’t care.

 

          Since my friend’s wouldn’t knowingly let me drive, I snuck away to my car.  I was inside it with the keys in the ignition ready to go when my friend Aaron ran up to me.  Aaron was one of the crew who had matured a lot earlier than some of us.  I am not sure if it was because he had two older brothers and had learned from them or what the case was, but Aaron made a lot less reckless decisions than I did.  Aaron pleaded with me not to drive and to just come back to the fire.  He had a ton of booze, and he would share it with me if I wanted. 

 

“NOPE,” I said.

 

          I wanted to drive.  I was even starting to be an asshole to Aaron treating him like “How dare he look out for me?”  But he wouldn’t relent.  Aaron stood by my driver’s window and continued to try and talk me out of the driver’s seat.  Nothing he said was working, so Aaron brought out the big guns.

 

          “Hey Kev, look at your legs man.  Imagine you could never use them again…”  Aaron pleaded.

 

          I looked at him, one hand on the shifter, one hand on the steering wheel and either foot on the gas and clutch.  I didn’t really want to hear it or to be affected, but those words hit me.  They actually made me stop, listen and actually think.

 

          “Look at that skateboard in your backseat man.  Imagine you could never ride that again.  Imagine if you couldn’t skateboard with us tomorrow, or the next day or ever again man…” continued Aaron.

 

          That one really got to me. 

 

          I pulled the keys out of the ignition and gave them to Aaron.  I stepped out of the car and staggered back to the fire.  I had been beaten.  Aaron had talked me into submission.  Aaron won, and I saw no shame in admitting that.  Even in my drunken state I sort of woke up for a second and had a moment of clarity appreciating that Aaron was watching over my best interests that night.  It wasn’t the first time friends pulled me out of a sticky situation.  This had been going on for years.  I was so out of control most nights that partying with me and babysitting me were essentially one in the same thing.  So often my friends were stuck with that job.  Looking back I know I was very lucky to have had the friends that I did, and still mostly have.  In hindsight, Aaron very well could have saved my life that night.  Not only that, but he could have saved the lives of any number of innocent people that I could have ploughed into with my car.  I would have no doubted drove fast and recklessly that night, had he not talked me out of my car.  I never saw it coming, but my number was almost up.  This was not the night when my luck streak would come to a crashing halt though.

 

          I wish I could say that lesson Aaron taught me that night stuck with me longer than for the rest of the night, but it didn’t.  The next day we all called an early quit to the camping trip and drove home to Cloverdale.  During the roughly four hour drive, Tim and I drank nearly 24 beers between us.  Then we stopped and grabbed a dozen more about 45minutes from home in Chilliwack and continued on drinking. 

 

          By the time we got to Cloverdale, I was absolutely wasted again.  I drove to the new Cloverdale skateboard park, which was still being built piece by piece, and stumbled out of my car.  It must have been pretty obvious that I was drunk because people I didn’t even know were trying to stop me from getting back into my car and driving away.  The difference between this day and the day before was that this time I managed to sneak away to my car and drive away without anybody stopping me.  My way of thanking them from trying to stop me by spitting gravel in every which direction as I spun my tires peeling out of the parking lot.  I was a ticking time bomb just waiting to explode, but somehow I made to my destination: home.  I got lucky again.

 

I am standing on my back patio on a beautiful sunny Sunday afternoon.  Yes actually standing… no miracles involved sorry.   I am standing in my standing frame – a piece of equipment that I transfer into seated and then can pump my self up to a standing position with a hydraulic lever.  So for as long as it takes me to write this blog I will be looking at the world through a six foot tall perspective.

 

I had a great weekend starting Friday.  I had my first presentation of the 2009 / 2010 school year Friday afternoon at Mt Slesse Middle School in Chilliwack, BC.  I have been to Mt Slesse speaking on two separate occasions prior to Friday and both times were great experiences.  I was expecting nothing less when I woke up Friday morning, and I wasn’t disappointed.

 

It was pretty cool to roll up to the school in my new truck.  It was the first presentation I have drove to in it.  Students were walking by saying “sweet truck!” and it felt good to hear.  As I entered the school, lunch time was just ending.  The halls were packed with grade 7 to 9s, and there was an excitement in the air.  Students were asking me if I was the speaker and throwing high fives my way.  I was stoked!  Especially since I hadn’t even spoke yet.  They didn’t even know me and the students were already stoked on me.

 

It was a cool presentation.  The first one of the year is always an experience.  I wouldn’t say I get nervous, but I definitely feel a little off my game after a three month hiatus from public speaking.  I had some support in the audience which is always appreciated.  A family friend emailed me the morning of the presentation to let me know her son attended the school and that she would be attending my presentation.  It was great to have Morgan in the audience and awesome to meet her son Brayden.  I hope he didn’t mind the shout out I gave him.

 

I was very cautious of timing, clearly remembering countless times last year that I went WAY over.  My presentation was going straight to the end of school, so I would need to be on the ball to make sure I was able to show my slideshow at the end.  For once time wasn’t an issue as I somehow I ended with about a half an hour to spare.  I got to show my slideshow and then opened the floor to questions.  The students had numerous awesome questions that I gladly answered as best I could.  I finished feeling great about the presentation and even got to hang with some kids afterwards.  I even signed a few autographs.  Thank you Mt Slesse!!

 

Driving home I felt like a champ.  It felt so great to be speaking again.  It really is one of my biggest passions in life, and I miss it when I am not doing it.  This summer was a pretty tough one at times and I had been very much looking forward to getting busy again.  I have waited to get speaking with the hopes that a new start would allow me to focus on other things than mending my broken heart.  I got messages from students all afternoon Friday and into the night and still am getting them today.   This stokes me huge!  I guess I still got it!  The presentation definitely lifted my spirits big time.

 

Friday was also highlighted when I called a very cool girl I met earlier in the summer named Lisa.  We have been trying to meet up all summer long to no avail.  Finally we were both free Friday night.  She came over to my place and we went for dinner at Katana (awesome Japanese food restaurant in Langley).  After dinner I drove us into downtown Langley to check all the old cars in town for the big car show Saturday.  I had a great night with Lisa and am looking forward to a bike ride around the seawall with her later this afternoon.

 

Speaking of bike rides, I met up with my mom yesterday morning, and we went for a sick bike ride in Ladner.  I wasn’t really feeling the ride at first then Hayley (my sister) bailed and I was feeling it even less.  Despite not really wanting to, I forced myself to go because it was such a nice day and I knew once I got out I would have no regrets.  I was feeling pretty indecisive when I picked my mom up.  We had thought of going to the seawall first, but I wasn’t feeling it.  We decided on Steveston instead, but then on the way I changed plans again wanting to try some place new. 

 

We ended up going for a huge 17km ride along the dyke in Ladner.  It was an awesome ride and an awesome day.  We rode mostly along Deas Slough.  All of my life I have wanted to see the area of the river that the tunnel goes under and yesterday my wish came true.  It turns out my mom had wondered her entire life what it looked like too, so we were both pretty happy with our destination.

 

By the end of the ride we were feeling pretty hungry, so we grabbed dinner at an awesome pub with a great patio over looking the slough.  The food was amazing!  It was a great day hanging with my mom.  We stopped by my grandma’s place on the way home and visited with her and my uncle and his lady friend.  It was a family day for sure.  Once back to Cloverdale I picked Hayley up and drove her and my mom back to their place.

 

It’s crazy to me that my sister is in grade 9 now.  She was hanging with her friend in a park after dark last night when I picked her up.  I wanted to get her ASAP because I remember the crap that I was getting into in parks at her age.  Thankfully Hayley is a much better kid than I was at her age.  But still I think because of what I have seen and what I know she is going to be stuck with an extra protective older brother until she is about 40.

 

Once home, I stuck around the couch last night and played guitar.  I am working on a bunch of stuff on the guitar.  Most of it is practice just trying to nail down fingering and proper technique.  I have the ultimate respect for people who play guitar now because it is not easy at all.  When I finished the practice technique I play bits and pieces of all of the songs I am learning.  I am playing the song Radio by punk band Alkaline Trio and Fade to Black by Metallica more than anything.  I am almost able to play all of Radio now and hope to figure out the heavier part soon (maybe today) and get it down before I start trying to sing along while I play.  I really want to sing Radio to someone.  Listen to it and I bet you could guess who.

 

I got a good sleep last night and was up around 8:30am this morning (pretty early for a Sunday for me) so I could ride in the Terry Fox Run.  My good friend Kim lost her leg to cancer some years back at the young age of 19.  I still clearly remember when it happened. I didn’t know her that well then but I remember feeling somehow bonded with her us having both gone through life and body changing experiences at such young ages.  I had been in the chair a couple of years at the time she lost her leg.  Not knowing her so well, I didn’t feel it was my place to approach her.  But as fate would have it we ended up getting to know each other and sure enough we have a common bond.  Kim is hoping to speak on a similar level as I am about her own experience.  I hope she reads this…  if she ever gets to one of my presentations maybe I can help her out.  Anyways, there was no way I would miss the Terry Fox Run today.

 

I totally had to drag my ass out of bed today, but I went.  I drove to the park and unloaded my bike while the pre-event festivities were taking place.  I ran into a bunch of different friends from all different crowds at the event, but ended up riding it solo.  I hauled ass as hard as I could the entire way trying to be the first across the finish line.  It was 5kms in total, which is a pretty small ride compared to my usual rides.  However I was feeling the burn after yesterday’s 17km ride with mom.  I ended the run / ride probably about 6^th or 7^th overall and for that I was happy.  I came across the finish line so fast that when I hit the first speed bump I caught a little bit of air.  There was a photographer taking pictures at the finish line.  I would love to see the look on my face because I think I even surprised myself as I hit the bump and my bike flew airborne.

 

Now I am home and just chilling on the patio as I said at the beginning.  I really enjoyed this weekend.  It was quiet and healthy and active.  After the past month of pretty knarly nights I am definitely game to lay low and have more days, nights and weekends like this one.  Life is all about balance and I feel I have found it again after losing touch a bit.

 

Well that’s about it for today.  I am off to play guitar and then will be riding again tonight.  I can’t wait for my ride this evening, especially because I know the summer days are numbered.  I feel it is really important to take advantage because before I know it we will be setting the clocks back, getting pelted with rain and snow and wishing for days like today to return. 

 

I’m off to seize the day!

 

~: )

 

Kevin

So I’ve spent most of today on the computer.  I am starting to get more and more bookings for this year, which totally stokes me.  I am hoping to visit a ton of schools and a ton of places this year. 

 

I have been working closely with The Drive to Save Lives team to get my name out there.  One of our ideas was to have students or anyone really, who has seen me speak make a video testimonial and send it our way.  We will then in turn post these testimonials online for all to see.  We hope these testimonials will help reflect the impact the presentations from me and the rest of the Drive to Save Lives team have.

 

Well as of the last couple of weeks I have had a lot of response to my request for video testimonials.  My friend Sarah was the first to make one.  Hers was good, but it seemed like she was pretty nervous.  If I didn’t know better I would think that I had a gun to her head behind the camera…  It just seemed really forced.  But don’t get me wrong I love her for trying.

 

Well last night I got a message from a dude named Shayd from Nanaimo.  He said he was done the video and about to post it on Facebook.  I was at my dad’s at the time hanging out for his birthday dinner.  I kept getting messages on my Blackberry about the video, so finally I had to check it out.  I went on my dad’s computer and man was I stoked!!!  Shayd’s video is amazing!  It is exactly what I had hoped for and then some.  Please anyone who has a webcam and five minutes check out Shayd’s video on my Facebook and make me one too.

 

I learned something new today too.  For the past week or so I have been talking with my web team and Drive to Save Lives team.  They have been in the process of getting analytics for my website www.kevinbrooks.ca.  I had seen a bit of the behind the scenes stuff back when my site first went up, but never realized how detailed these reports are.  Well it is finally all accessible, and I just spent the last half an hour playing around and checking out my site visits and am so stoked! 

 

I can actually see where my hits are coming from.  I can see which country and even which city in which country web visits are coming from.  It amazes me that I have visitors from all over the world.  I noticed that a lot of people from Texas actually visit my website… more than anywhere else outside of Canada.  This all has got me pretty pumped up.  I am so stoked to think that my website and message can reach people all over the world.  It leaves me feeling like this is just the beginning of something huge.  I want to see the world and speak any and everywhere I can.

 

Yes I definitely have been gettin er done today…  I also got a transcript of my presentation this afternoon.  About a week ago mmy team sent a DVD of my presentation off to a lady who then translated it into text.  I am using the text as a basis for my book.  Guess what… I started writing today.  I really, really want to get a book out there so people can learn more about my story.  I have struggled in recent attempts but hope now that I have a general outline I can follow on paper that I will be able to get a book finished sometime this year.  With a book I will have so much more time to fill in the blanks.  I mean really in an hour and twenty minutes I can get a lot of information out in a speech but nothing compared to what I can put in an entire book.

 

Yes today has been a busy day.  Now I am going to chill on the couch and play some guitar as a little reward for myself for getting so much stuff done.  I am playing a lot of guitar these days.  I have been at it for about six months now and have learned some pretty sick riffs…  notably are Alkaline Trio songs Radio and Blue in the Face; Rolling Stones song Paint it Black;  Metallica songs One and Fade To Black; and just today I started learning The Misfits song Some Kinda Hate today.  The Misfits was inspired by one of my best buddies Rick bringing me by a little gift the other day…  a Misfits guitar pick.  (I know he reads this sometimes, so thanks Rick Neaks.)  It feels so rad to be learning an instrument.  It is something I have wanted to do for years and years. 

 

If I have one lesson today it is instead of saying you arre going to do something - just go out and do it.  That has been my new motto all summer and I am keeping with it.  I mean it is so easy to say that we are going to do stuff.  So much of this stuff never gets done though.  I doubt it is even possible to do all that we say we are going to or that we want to.  But take this as advice from me.  If there is something you love and you are holding off for whatever reason…  just go out and do it.  It feels so great to be a doer rather than a sayer.

 

Well…  Time to wrap up.  I guess a lot of you reading this must be back in school now.  It is that time again.  Well I sincerely hope that I will be visiting your schools this year and delivering my best presentations ever.  Who knows…  maybe I will bring my guitar along with me and play a song or two or have a book to hook people up with after the presentation is over.

 

I just want to thank everyone for your continued support.  It truly inspires me every single day.  After all that I have been through in my life in the past and even recently it is great to know that people care about me and my messages I am sending to the world.  On my brightest days I think of you all and on my darkest too.  Thanks for the inspiration and thanks for giving me the opportunity to bring something positive from my life’s toughest moments and giving me and outlet to share my life’s greatest moments.  Thank you especially for enabling me to find my true passion in life – speaking to you!!

 

Kevin

Welcome to a rarely written night blog…  I am wide awake right now….

 

It took me a while after my crazy spring speaking schedule that had me up at the crack of dawn most days, but I am officially a night owl again…. Perfect just in time for when I am going to have to start waking up early again…

 

Yes…  I find myself lying in bed tonight very awake.  My buddy Tyler is sleeping on my couch for a few nights and has already dozed off, so no guitar, no TV.  I also have no good book to read…  (Sorry Anna if you’re reading this but I can’t get into it.  I think my library is pretty well limited to true life bios, especially ones about Rockstars, Skateboarders or people who have generally been to hell and back.)

 

Today was a pretty interesting day.  It started pretty rough but thankfully turned and is ending well as well… too many wells… oh well!

 

Why so glum earlier you wonder…  or did you… well even if you didn’t you are going to find out now…My heart is still not healed from being broken - nowhere near.  I know it has been a long time but I still feel sad on occasion.  I still definitely have my moments.  I still love Melissa for sure.  I think about her a lot.  We haven’t spoken in a month and at times it has been really tough.  She was my best friend as well as my girlfriend.  I have lost both and it isn’t easy to get over.

 

I take it all in stride.  I really do…  Because I recognize that I am facing challenging times right now and I know they will get better because they always do.  I think one of the hardest things that gets to me sometimes though is I don’t feel like myself at times.  I am normally not one to be bummed or one to feel sad really.  So when I do have these feelings they in turn magnify the actual issue because on top of what I am bummed about in the first place I also get bummed on being bummed – if that makes sense.

 

What I try to do mostly these days is just be aware of how I feel and just feel it.  If I feel happy AWESOME!  I enjoy every second.  If I feel sad I deal with it and let it pass.  If I am bitter or angry so be it.  I know that this is a process of healing and that all these feelings and emotions need to get out and work themselves out.

 

Yep life right now is a bit of a rollercoaster.  I have extreme highs and some pretty lowly lows.  For instance… I had an AWESOME weekend!  I got to hang with my friends down in Vancouver, WA and shop at the Volcom Store in Centralia, WA; I got to see one of my best friends Stacey who is visiting from Oakville, ON on Friday; and I went to AC/DC with a rad posse of family and friends Saturday night and had one of the funnest wildest nights of the summer.

 

AC\DC night was a blast.  I wore my metal gear and went with my cousin Phil.  We took the skytrain – also very metal in my books – to town.  We got to Vancouver early and searched for a patio to eat dinner on.  We looked and looked but everywhere was packed because it was sunny and the weekend and AC/DC was in town.  We ended up on Granville Street near Nelson, which worked great because a metal bar called The Moose lives there. The Moose was packed too and had no free tables.  Sometimes things that might look to suck can be a blessing in disguise though.  There being no table for just me and Phil lead to me making friends with a table of about 6 girls who Phil and I ended up hanging out with for a couple hours - having a lot of fun.  We were joined by my cousin Wade and his posse and the noise and fun level went up even higher.  We almost didn’t want to leave but there was no way we were going to miss AC/DC.  So we all hung out until it was time to head to the show then said our goodbyes. 

 

I left the Moose in a wild kind of mood with a certain variation of a Seinfeld Episode in mind.  I decided that I was going to pay homeless people to push me in my wheelchair around Vancouver.  My arms were sore and it was an honest way to earn a buck or ten for someone in need.  I paid this rad guy who plays the spoons on Granville $10 to push me to AC/DC.  He was super nice and I was enjoying getting to know the Spoonman.  However the Spoonman has bad knees and I could see he was in pain, so I gladly relieved him of his duties and paid the man.  He was pushing me downhill anyways…  It wasn’t like I needed the help.

 

The concert was an absolute blast.  We met up with more friends there as well as my sister Allison and her boyfriend Jeff.  We all head banged and danced and sang through the entire show.  My voice is still a little raspy from singing… those poor people sitting beside me.  Looking back I don’t think they paid over $100 to hear me audition for Brian Johnson’s (AC/DC singer)  job.

 

After the show ended we headed back up towards Granville Street.  By now we had a big group of friends.  Somehow we all got separated and I ended up at a Granville burger bar on a solo burger mission while my cousin Phil wandered around aimlessly lost and trying to find Granville Street.  Allison, Jeff and a bunch of other friends showed up soon after at the burger bar, but no Phil.  He was still lost.  I got on my Blackberry and tried directing him as best I could.  I even went for a roll sans homeless assistant pushing me trying to find him.  Finally I did find Phil, but I also lost something in the process which I would learn of soon but kind of too late after – my Blackberry.

 

Now I don’t know how many people reading this run a Blackberry, but if you do I’m sure you will feel what I am about to say here.  I feel lost without all of my favourite little time fillers…  BBM, Facebook, SMS, Email, the internet, pictures, music….  The list goes on and on.  Honourable mention goes to Brick Breaker.  I just played the crap out of that game for the first however many months so much that I can’t even go there anymore.  I miss my Blackberry is the point I am getting at…  I know this is one heck of a ranting ramble… or is it a rambling rant?  There will be more points just wait and see… read on and it will all come together.

 

Losing my Blackberry has been very frustrating.  Someone did find it and responded to texts Allison and I were sending to my BB from her phone when I first lost it.  The saviour of my BB left Allison a message with his name and number.  I first called him Sunday morning, and I have literally stalked this dude since with countless phone calls trying to get through to no avail.  By this morning it all had gotten to me and I was at my wits end with the unknowing. 

 

Well guess what… he finally called me this afternoon (for some reason those words seemed weird to write like only a girl should say them or I guess anyone who likes dudes A LOT)…  Well whatever…  He made my day!  He explained not answering all of my calls because he was commuting home to Fort St John the past couple of days and had his cell off.  I thanked this man Sheldon over and over.  He is truly a Good Samaritan because he put my BB on a Greyhound to Langley today. 

 

Instantly I felt this relieved feeling that I was getting my BB back with all of my toys and tools.  At that moment the other pain I was feeling was gone too.  I was so happy and nothing was taking me down.  Music sounded awesome, the day seemed brighter and I felt like I had just shotgunned a Red Bull!  The pain was all gone but I think that’s because pain congregates together in the same place.  It’s like pain attracts other pain or more pain and all those pains have this big pain party that is a real pain in the ass (anyone agree with this?)… For me it would be more accurate to say a pain in my heart.  

 

I know I am very fortunate to get my BB back.  Not to be jaded, but more realistic; I don’t know that there are too many people who would turn a found BB in, or wallet or anything found that is valuable.  I know there are some who would - me being one of them, but there definitely are others who would not.  As soon as I got that call the first thing I thought was I want to do something good for somebody.  I think a lot like that Pay It Forward movie.  Good deeds should go forward and gather momentum.  I also believe that this momentum returns full circle.  I think some call that Karma.  My thought today was that I had a lot of clothes that I never wear to hook someone up with… and I am talking nice stuff… Volcom and LRG for the most part.  My buddy Kev is always the recipient of these Karmathons.  Kev actually saved my life years ago and I have never forgotten it.  I bet some are reading this thinking (dude saves your life and you give him your old shirts).  Well it is a bit different because I gave him jeans too… but no underpants.

 

So here it is…  I was happy.  Then I was sad.  Somebody brought me happiness and I returned it by sharing a positive giving moment with another friend.  My buddy Ty is sleeping on my couch right now and I am going to try and make sure he has a great stay…  Why?    I slept on his couch a month ago and had an awesome time in Nanaimo compliments of him.  What goes around comes around.  Life is about what you give more than what you get.  Life is so about the energy we put out there because that energy moves in a circular motion.  Although a good deed may go unrecognized at first that energy is out in the air and it is coming back your way one day.  So return wallets and phones you find; let people merge in traffic; open the door for someone today and hold it for five more; smile at a stranger (not a creepy one) and let’s all do our part in making this world a friendlier, better place.

 

Personally, I know that my energy is not as consistent as it has been at times before.  I understand that; and I understand why.  My goal is to try and just keep understanding that it is what it is right now.  One day this will all be a lesson and I will be a stronger, better more understanding person because of it.  We have to take the good with the bad because things can change pretty damn fast in this life.  They can go up, or they can go down.  In the end it all balances out and I think as long as we know about that balance and seek to achieve and understand it that we are game for life’s battles and prime for life’s good times.

 

Let the good times roll (pun intended).

 

~: )

 

Kevin