Happy 2010!
Where to begin… I am pretty stoked on a not just a new year, but a new decade. I feel I should go back ten years to be able to properly explain the significance of 2010 for me…
The year 2000 started off looking promising for me. I had turned an unfortunate situation (my snowboard being stolen out of my car) into a positive (an insurance funded $3000 shopping spree at Fluid Sports). This resulted in me picking up head to toe in sick new gear on December 31st, 1999. After bringing home my loot, I rang in the new millennium in typical gong show style. I partied like it was 1999 (it was after all) forever grateful that the dreaded Y2K bug never imploded our universe.
Everything seemed pretty much on the up and up in 2000: work was steady, I had a steady girlfriend; I was getting along with my family better than ever; I had my own car; was skateboarding and snowboarding and playing hockey… Life was great! I was also partying pretty damn hard. Due to my extreme partying lifestyle I was still facing a lot of turmoil and drama because of the frequent stupid choices I made; however in my confused adolescent naiveté I figured this was just a part of life. Through the ups and downs I was becoming a man and then everything suddenly changed the night of June 24th, 2000. This is the night I crashed my car and life changed forever.
Now anyone reading this already likely knows the story of what went down that night. If not, please refer to my home page, or YouTube slideshow, or lobby your school to bring me in to tell you the full story in person. This blog is not so much about what happened that night; it is about what happened next. And this little catch phrase, I may or may not have come up with, I would have to say, has become my strongest belief in life. “Life is not so much about what happened, but more about what happens next.”
Skip forward a couple of years to 2002…
I had been in the wheelchair long enough to have a general grasp on my new life. I was still very much confused though with where that life was going and what opportunities, if any, lie ahead for me. My main priorities were working out at the gym, partying and hoping to find new love (which I somehow believed would be the answers to all of my life’s problems). More oddly, I assumed that partying and bar-hopping every weekend was the way to meet this mystical saviour who would bring fulfillment to my somewhat aimless life.
As luck or destiny would have it, a chance meeting with Rick Hansen led me to hold an event in the summer of 2002. I had never held a fundraiser before, but took the project on with a lot of pride and determination. I needed something in my life with purpose, for so much had been lost in the crash. In hindsight, I can’t think of anything I had ever done before the event that was purely focussed on giving to others. Selflessness and humility were somewhat foreign ways of life to me prior to being in a wheelchair. A change of ideas (rad Bad Religion song by the way) was to begin that summer.
From Wheels to Water was held in August 2002 at White Pine Beach in Port Moody. Between the sponsorships, media coverage, support and monies raised ($8200) the event was a total success. Not only was the event a success, it was also very apparently one of the best things I had ever done with my life and my time. It brought people together for a great cause; it proved that the seemingly impossible (swimming a kilometre with only arms) could be possible; and it introduced me to three very important life lessons: 1) Something good can come from something bad. 2) More is gained by giving than from taking. 3) One idea; one thought, one person… can make a difference. And I had done it all from a wheelchair.
It was from this event that I got my first invite to speak at a school. The presentation was a team effort between me and my friend Joel. Joel was paralyzed through half of his body after being hit by a drunk driver at the same intersection as where I had crashed my car. We swam the kilometre in From Wheels to Water together. Joel’s mom was an elementary school teacher and brought us to her school in Langley to speak to a very young audience. And so history was made… as I faced my first ever audience in an elementary school library. Looking back I could have never guessed it at the time, but it was on this day that my life path would veer a hard right. It was this hard right (fatefully inspired by a misfortunate left that I had taken one summer night over two and half years before in my car that paralyzed me and killed my friend) that would lead to my finding my ultimate purpose in life… Remember life lesson 1) Something good can come from something bad… Check life lesson 1a) Many more good somethings can from that something good that originated from something bad… HUH? Yeah read it a few times…
Now this blog would be a book… (one that I know many are waiting on and one that will get done one day I promise) if I were to detail or list the countless inspiring moments that have happened since that first presentation almost eight years ago. I don’t even know if I can put it into words. I will say that I have found the most rewarding cause and the most inspiring mission in speaking with youth about my experiences. I have met countless amazing people and enjoyed more Goosebump giving moments than I could ever explain. I have found my true calling in life. I have found the ultimate happiness and the undeniable reward of doing something that I love and that clearly makes a difference and means so much to so many… You reading this hello!!!
It was this path that I started on almost eight years ago that has helped me grow to who and where I am today. I feel that in many ways speaking saved me. Before I began speaking I was still on the fence. My life could have gone either way. I could have never found a true purpose to life and just continued on living in many ways the same way as I did before the crash, just with a wheelchair under me and all of the challenges that go along with it. I could have partied many more years away without a contrasting purpose to ultimately bring me to change my lifestyle; I could have searched for love and fulfillment in the shallowest of places only to be disappointed over and over again. I could have turned my pain into anger and resentment and never found the passion and appreciation for life that I now have. I may have never met the thousands of people I have met; never visited the countless small towns I’ve seen and would have never otherwise visited; or never forged the friendships, partnerships and love that I have found. I most certainly would not have been writing these very words that you are reading.
So what have I learned in the last ten years? Wow… A lot.
I have learned to deal with the hand I’ve been given and to make the most out of that hand. I’ve certainly learned to turn negatives to positives. Through this understanding I have found a way to cope with the challenges and consequent struggles that life can throw my way. Life is but a journey of ups and downs and learning and of growth. On one hand, the past decade was one of great tragedy, pain, loss and confusion. But more importantly it was a decade filled with great triumphs, inspiration, life lessons and love. I feel that I have learned so much just in the last decade. I truly went from a boy to a man. Sure it took the better part of a decade to do, but it was in the journey that I learned the lessons that brought me to where I now sit (no pun intended).
I am where I am because of choices I have made… some good choices, some bad choices… however both types of choices are looked at or judged they are equally choices. I understand more than ever that Life is all about these choices. At the end of the day we are the ones accountable for the choices we make. Once a choice becomes an action there is no going back. Life has no rewind button. We can only move forward. It is in this forward movement that we grow. I choose to grow from each of my choices rather than spend my time attempting to purchase a time machine on E-bay (ala Uncle Riko). So forward I go…
Through the journey of learning and forward moving I’ve learned to be careful not to fast forward through these valuable lessons… or even through the pain. PAIN. Pain exists for a reason. Pain needs to be felt and dealt with. Something so important I also learned is to be aware of feelings and emotions, rather than just feel them. I try to understand why they are there, accept them and go somewhere better because of them. Even though pain starts as an open wound that at times feels unbearable, it will eventually begin to heal and ultimately turn to a scar. This scared skin is stronger than the skin before. It is also a constant reminder of that lesson we learned from the days when that scar was a freshly torn wound. I strongly believe that scars are mementos of not so much the hurt and the pain we once felt, but more so the journey of healing and growth from then until now. I met a wise man not so long ago who told me to “Turn pain into your friend… Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.” Pain is a universal weakness that all humans feel, but what happens when we turn our weaknesses to strengths? Growth. We go a lot further if we work with Pain rather than have it work against us. It is through the most painful of experiences that we become stronger people. It is in the toughest of times that we learn the most valuable of lessons. It is through the greatest challenges that we meet the greatest triumphs. So the darkest of times can lead to the brightest. I have seen this firsthand… and quite frankly it inspires the shit out of me.
Where am I at now…?
I feel that I am in the best place I have ever been. My head feels clearer than it ever has. I feel more aware of what is important in life than I ever have been before. I feel like I am in the greatest position to make good choices that I have ever been in. I feel like the better part of my life’s bad choices are behind me. I feel very in control of my future. I am super happy. I feel a lot of LOVE. I think the Beatles song sums it up pretty good actually… All You Need is Love… 2010 is all about the love. And I ain’t no hippy. I’m still punk. But I got a lot of love.
I love life, I love my family and friends, I love my job (hate calling it a job though) – how about I love my mission that pays the bills… I feel that I have found out what is important in life and that is having understanding, awareness, forgiveness and love. Loving ourselves no matter what; loving those around us who mean the most; loving the day and the countless opportunities it offers; loving the fact that we always have a second chance to turn bad into good. Loving that we, I, anyone… always has a chance and opportunity to bring good and make a difference in this world.
WOW… This took me like a week to properly articulate… I feel like this was some kind of epic speech and thus there is a need to thank people…
However, there are way too many people to thank individually for helping me come to this great new place in my life… definitely my family (mom, dad, Allison, Hayley, gramma and the rest – except Wade and Ryan – just kidding GFYS); thanks to my REAL friends (I know more than ever who you are); thanks to my partners in saving lives (ICBC, Eminata, Cara & Jason, SADD, OSAID, TADD… the list goes on and on); thanks SO MUCH to all of the great people I have met along the way. To those of you who have been touched by my story and my life, I want to thank you for your support and inspiration and motivation you have given me to grow and be a better person. Thanks for reading my blogs. I hope you enjoyed this one… The first of many to come in the next decade!!!
Happy New Year!
Kevin