In the fall of 2008 I was at home cleaning when my phone rang. The area code of 705 was unrecognizable to me. I answered and was met by the voice of a friendly lady who introduced herself as Carolyn Gray.
Carolyn lives in Barrie, Ontario. She explained that every year she and her husband David spearheaded an initiative to bring a speaker to the community to help inspire and motivate the youth of Barrie. Carolyn had found out about me through Facebook, and she explained how she wanted to add me to the growing list of speakers that the Gray’s had brought to town… And what an impressive list it was! The previous speakers were David Suzuki and Eva Olsson (Holocaust Survivor). I was flattered and honoured to even be considered in the same list as these amazing individuals. Carolyn told me that her family would cover all of my costs and that all I would have to do is show up and speak. I had never received a phone call like this from a seemingly random stranger before… teachers, principals, police – yes. But never from a someone who wasn’t representing a school or organization of some sort, let alone someone who was going to fund my entire trip privately.
Christmas passed and I hadn’t heard from Carolyn. We were planning on having me speak in Barrie in February, so I figured I should get a hold of her and figure out the details. If I remember correctly I wrote her once or twice with no response. I recall thinking that maybe it had been a little too good sounding to be true (sorry but you never know these days – some of the emails, calls and messages I get!! ). Maybe I wouldn’t actually be visiting Barrie at all. Deep down part of me felt that Carolyn was legit. I hoped I would hear from her soon.
When I did hear from Carolyn she sounded different. Her voice echoed a weakness that I hadn’t heard in our previous conversation months earlier. Her change of tone proved understandable after she explained to me why she hadn’t gotten back to me sooner. Her husband David, an Acting Captain of 23 years with Toronto Fire Services, had recently been diagnosed with an extremely aggressive form of brain cancer. The doctors had assessed David and explained that there really wasn’t much they could do. His diagnosis was fatal. He would likely have a maximum of six months to live.
I did not know David. Nor did I really even know Carolyn, who by this point was in tears on the other end of the phone. I tried to console her as my brain processed the information it had just learned. As I listened to Carolyn sob I couldn’t help but think of my Grandma Brooks. A few years ago Grams had been diagnosed with a rapid form of lung cancer only to die within two weeks of her prognosis. I could relate to Carolyn’s pain to some degree. I held tight to the phone and talked to Carolyn for what must’ve been an hour. We shared stories, tears, frustration and laughter during that phone call. When our conversation was over, I felt extreme sadness for the Gray family. I hung up the phone wondering how life can be so unfair at times.
As soon as Carolyn told me about David I suggested that we cancel my presentation in Barrie. But Carolyn shut that idea down fast. I saw my visit as work for her and a potential financial burden. Carolyn saw it differently. Bringing a speaker to Barrie was a tradition that the Grays wanted to carry on despite the Goliath sized challenge fate had just thrown their way. This was what the Grays’ did. Carolyn was very adamant that I would still speak in Barrie.
On a brisk February night in 2009, I pulled my rented Chevy Impala (from AVIS - I am so over you) up to the Holiday Inn at 20 Fairview Road in Barrie. I checked into my room then ate a hearty dinner at the restaurant within the hotel. As I sat awaiting my dinner, my phone rang. It was Carolyn on the line. She just wanted to make sure that everything was running smoothly, the sweet lady that she was. I ensured her that all was great and that I would see her the following morning at my presentation. Carolyn sounded different than the last time we had spoke. Her voice was not weakened but rather seemed to have a renewed strength and passion to it. I hoped that this was a sign that David was doing well. .
I was up very early the next day… 7am Eastern Time, but technically 4am for me - my brain and body still on Western Time. I got ready, packed my gear, made my way to my rental car, punched the address for Barrie North Collegiate Institute into my GPS and drove the 7 or 8 minutes to the school. I followed the highway down one exit then veered right as Claire the voice of my GPS directed me to do… I now have Cartman from South Park as my GPS voice. He curses me up and down. It is awesome!
I noticed that the streets in Barrie looked different than those in Vancouver. The most obvious difference being the number of brick homes there – Ontario in general I find has tons of brick homes. Vancouver houses are largely constructed of either wood or stucco. As far as I know, this has something to do with the extreme difference in climates. Winter was still very much in the air in Barrie, as snow was piled high on the sides of driveways. The cold was visible in that way that even with the heater blasting in the car and skies of blue outside, I could still tell just by the look in the air that the temperature was hovering around zero degrees.
I met Chris Samis, the principal at Barrie North immediately upon arriving at the school. He was a strong looking man that seemed very organized and focussed. I got the sense that Mr Samis ran a tight ship at Barrie North. I was impressed. I entered the gymnasium. It was packed with chairs – over 500. An entire technical department of staff and students were awaiting my arrival. Indeed, a tight ship was running strongly and smoothly at Barrie North.
About halfway through the setting up of AV, a tall blonde lady and a tall bald man (granted everyone is tall to me) entered the gymnasium carrying a humungous cache of Tim Horton’s coffee and treats. This is how I will always remember first meeting the Gray family.
My first impression as we exchanged pleasantries was “Wow what nice people!” Carolyn was this friendly, energetic, gitty, happy, carefree soul who just permeated positivity. David seemed more subdued and quieter than Carolyn. He carried himself with a peaceful almost Zen like presence. I remember that the calmness surrounding him was very comforting. It wasn’t an awkward quiet by any means. I could tell he was a gentle soul. Carolyn and David’s love for each other was very evident. The Gray’s were accompanied by their sons Michael and Cameron. Mike seemed more like mom. Cam seemed more like dad. All four of them made up one fine looking family.
Carolyn offered me coffee and treats to which I happily obliged. I apologized that I didn’t have much time to talk though. I had to get set up. So I resumed my role of prima donna public speaker… No I’m not that bad… Though I sometimes feel like a bit of a pain in the ass as my list of requirements grows and grows. I just know what I need to rock. That’s it. That’s not bad is it? I requested that my lunch this Wednesday at Salpointe School on Tucson, Arizona be In & Out Burgers. Now that makes perfect sense right? Not only that, but from now on I am thinking that I am going to write 2 Double Double Burgers Animal Style from In & Out into my contract for any presentations in any state that has In & Out Burger… Chunky Monkey may be back soon! I frickin ramble hey?!
As I spoke that February day at Barrie North, you could have heard a pin drop. Soon a sound much louder than a pin dropping grabbed the attention of the room. Instead of pins the sound of bodies dropping broke the silence. People were passing out. Apparently the details I recounted of the hospital, the tubes and the needles must’ve struck a little too close to home for some of the students in attendance. By the time I was done, two or three students had passed out. I may need to partner with a speaker on head injuries, as that floor didn’t sound too forgiving as skulls were abruptly introduced to it. Sorry Barrie North. I hope nobody was hurt that day.
I don’t know if it was because they liked the presentation or if was because they wanted me to teach them how to make people pass out with words. Regardless I was mobbed by students after my presentation. Jokes aside, this was a tell tale sign for me that my mission has been accomplished. Everyone in attendance seemed very happy with the story and the message that the blonde dude with a Mohawk in the wheelchair with punk rock stickers plastered all over it had just delivered. Yes this is how I see and describe myself. I wonder sometimes what the first impression of me is as I enter a school. I must look like a total punk. Do teachers look at me and think to themselves “Are you kidding? This is the speaker. What has NOFX – your presentation? Why is there a sticker on your wheelchair claiming that it is RANCID?” If indeed this is the case, I like it. I think the element of surprise works to my advantage.
After my talk at Barrie North, I went for brunch with Carolyn and David. We went to a small little place owned by, if I remember correctly, former Maple Leaf Shane Corson…. or maybe it was his mom. The Grays and I got to know each other better over our meal. I learned that David was an outdoorsman who loved fishing. He was the Acting Captain of a fire hall in Toronto and was very passionate about his job. Carolyn was a former nurse and massage therapist and a full time awesome mom and wife. I saw a happy, loving, amazingly generous couple. Their love made me think of my own love in my life at the time. I hoped that one day I too could be one half of such a happy successful couple. All thoughts of David’s illness were gone. Occasionally we spoke of it, but for the most part our conversation was about life and the little funny stories within that remind us we are alive. As we left, Carolyn took some pictures of me sitting beside the “Please Wait to be Seated” sign in the front of the restaurant. We all laughed some more. I’m pretty sure the picture is still in my profile pics on Facebook.
David and Carolyn escorted me to my rental car and watched me, as I made them (never one to accept help), load myself and my chair into the vehicle. We said our goodbyes and in my heart of hearts I knew that I had just made valuable friends. I watched through my rear view mirror as David and Carolyn walked away towards their own vehicle, when suddenly David turned around. He walked back to my car and approached the window, so I rolled it down. David wanted to make sure that I knew how to get back to the highway and to the airport. I assured him I was fine as I had my trustee GPS to guide me. Still David insisted upon giving me directions. I’m not sure if he didn’t trust technology, or if it was just in him to go that extra mile and help or if he was just extending our visit that little bit extra. I like to think it was a combo of the three, especially the last idea that he just wanted to visit some more.. He stood by my car and explained the directions to me until he was confident that I was ok. This is the kind of guy that David was. I thanked him again and we said goodbye again and off he went to join Carolyn in their mini-van to get back to whatever it was they had to do with their day.
Once I was confident that the Grays had driven away, I sat in my rental car, the engine running and heater blasting. Tears began to form in my eyes and roll down my face. I watched one by one as my tears dropped onto my jeans leaving little wet marks of sadness. I cried that day because I knew that this was probably the last time I would ever see this great man David Gray. I cried because it just didn’t seem right or fair that an awesome guy like David would be taken away from his family, from his friends, from his colleagues, from his community and from this world that obviously benefited so immensely from having him. I cried and I cried and I cried some more. It didn’t seem possible that someone so young and so strong and so positive could be fighting this battle that ultimately he could never win. I wondered why? Why?
Over the next year, I kept fairly regular contact with the Grays. From what I could tell, David’s health seemed to be miraculously on the up and up. Weeks turned to months and months into more months. David had outlived the time frame the doctors had given him. I only hoped that he would continue to win the battle and steal as much time as he could. God knows if anyone deserved some extra time on this planet it was David.
If you read this blog regularly you would know that in the past year I saw some of my own triumphs, defeats, happy days and heartbreak. At some of my weakest times I thought of David and Carolyn and their family’s battle. Their fight often put my own struggles into a clearer perspective, as the Grays’ was the ultimate fight. When I saw or heard from Carolyn or Dave or saw an update on Facebook, it appeared that things were going well. I never asked how David was doing. I just assumed that he was well because I hadn’t heard differently. I didn’t want to hear differently. One of the coolest things that I saw this summer was pictures of David and Carolyn renewing their wedding vows. Dudes probably don’t read this anyways, so I can admit I am a sucker for a sweet love story. I even watch chick flicks by myself sometimes… But right now I need to listen to METAL to counter that confession with something tough haha… The pictures of the wedding looked great. Carolyn and Dave looked so happy! They were like school kids in love. It warmed my heart.
I talked with Carolyn at the end of summer about me speaking in Barrie again in the fall. We agreed it was a good idea to have me back. Everything was planned for November when I threw the plans for a loop. After a very successful SADD Conference in Phoenix, Arizona in which I keynoted, I ended up postponing my trip to Barrie in order to speak in Nogales and Payson, Arizona. Yeah I know… I sold Barrie out for the sunshine. It was a big dilemma for me. I made my decision the way I often do by asking myself the question… Which will I regret more? I saw the opportunity in Arizona as a once in a lifetime. I never realized that in some ways the Barrie trip would also have been a once in a lifetime, or maybe better put - a last in a lifetime. In hindsight I would’ve went with Barrie and visited David one more time…. In hindsight. But what is hindsight? To look at the bigger picture if hindsight and rewind existed I would’ve never crashed my car; I never would be talking in schools and, most likely, I would’ve never met the Grays. Also this blog you’re reading would not exist. Hindsight is here to give us foresight for the next time we’re met with a similar situation. I’ll remember that decision forever. Live and learn. I can’t regret. Such is life…
I had a blast in Arizona! Arizona was great to me. My presentations and experiences in Payson and Nogales were among the best I’ve had this year… Maybe even ever! Once again, if you read my blogs you know this. As soon as I was home from Arizona, I began to work on rescheduling Barrie. The two school contacts I was working with thought February or March would work best. I opted for early March, as I wanted to be in Vancouver for the Olympics… which was another great choice. IE: Recent blogs, pics on Facebook etc….
Carolyn was kept in the loop of all communications and was her normal keener self in always getting right back to me. Then all of a sudden I hadn’t heard back from her in a while. I wrote her a couple of emails and even called her but to no avail. I hoped that the reason she was MIA was that her, David and their sons had hopped on a plane or a boat and headed for somewhere sunny and warm. I dreaded the thought of and tried to not even put out the energy out there that maybe David’s health had deteriorated and thus she was too occupied with his health to be in contact. Sadly when I did eventually hear from Carolyn, it wasn’t good news. David was at home. There was nothing left the doctors could do.
My heart broke when I heard this news. Once again I will say, as I don’t think it can be said enough, that these are the nicest people anyone could ever meet. They have so much ahead… So much life yet to live. They are still so young and so very much in love. They are the kind of people who give to others and strive to make the world a better place. Their lives in so many ways define happiness, success and family. I just didn’t understand how come David was going to be taken away. I know I have sadly written this before and not to sound cliché, but why is it the good ones that leave us too soon? David is a good one. Dave is a great one. I told Carolyn we should cancel my trip, but she was adamant that I still speak in Barrie. She didn’t want me to cancel. I didn’t argue.
Over the next month hardly a day went by that I didn’t think about the Gray family. Their strength and will to squeeze every little last bit out of life that they could inspired and humbled me. I dedicated presentations to David. I often caught glimpses in my mind of that modest, friendly smile of his that I encountered a year ago. I recalled our last time shared together. Even though I had only met David once and shared relatively little time with him, I was forever moved from meeting this man. I looked back and remembered the tears I had cried in the parking lot of that diner in Barrie the last time I saw him. I fought back new tears. I shared their story with so many people around me. I wanted the people I cared about in my own circle to know about these fantastic people I had met and their unfortunate struggle. Maybe the more people that thought about David or cared could send some sort of message to the powers that be that it isn’t time yet. Keep David Gray alive.
The next time I spoke with Carolyn she told me that David had been moved into hospice. I knew what this meant. My grandma Brooks went into hospice with her lung cancer. Her stay was maybe a week at best. I knew that David was on his last days. I tried to support Carolyn as best I could writing words that wouldn’t be cliché or condescending or pointless. All the while that I wrote I knew that there was really nothing I could say that would make everything better. Still I would write her and send encouraging, empathetic words hoping if anything I could bring some comfort. When she wrote me that she was shopping for a coffin for David I couldn’t even imagine how tough that day must’ve been for her.
During one of Canada’s games in the Olympics I was at the Cactus Club on Robson Street in Vancouver. Somebody handed me a cowbell that had the words FORCE FATE on it. Those words, although I know they are part of an ad campaign (leave cheesiness behind), really struck me. It was one of those moments of clarity in life… Like an epiphany, it hit me. FORCE FATE. Life is so short. I need to squeeze every last second of it out. I need to take chances, calculate smart risks or course, because if I don’t do it today and right now then I am just letting life pass me by. I mean to some degree I am of course living life to its fullest. But that moment made me question if could I live it even more. It hit me so hard that today only comes once, and if we don’t make the most of today it is one less day that we can look back on and say I LIVED THAT DAY. I think that this mindset is apparent even in recent blogs I have written. I suddenly realized more than ever that every single day counts.
The Grays were in my mind that evening that I received the cowbell and every other time I pondered those words FORCE FATE or felt inspired by the gift that is life. I don’t know why so often it is through losing something or someone so valuable that we as people gain. Maybe this is the universal balance that keeps the world in check. I don’t know. As often as I felt sad for the Gray family, I also felt inspired by their strength and their love and their passion for life and their will not to quit. The Grays truly were forcing fate and living each day like it was their last. How many people have the chance to really know that the days ahead are numbered… and of those who do, how many really take full advantage like the Grays had been doing? If this doesn’t kick you in the ass, I don’t know what will.
I brought my little cowbell to Barrie with me because I wanted to give it to the Grays as a memento of the Olympics and to just let them know how much they inspire me. When I arrived in town I knew that I might not get to see them with all that was going on, yet I hoped I would.
Very much like my last trip to Barrie, Ontario a year ago, on March 10th, 2010 I drove up to the Holiday Inn in at 20 Fairview Drive in a rented Chevy Impala . I called Carolyn from the parking lot, but there was no answer. I assumed that she was busy. I ate dinner at the hotel restaurant and fell asleep in bed watching the Canucks on TV. The game started at 10pm Eastern Time. I was sleeping a little after midnight. As much as I love the Canucks I was spent from the travel, not to mention the sinus pressure headache that kicked my ass the entire flight from Vancouver to Toronto. My skull hurt so bad at times I was wishing we would hit turbulence so the plane could drop thousands of feet just to relieve the pressure. I was looking for Taliban with box cutters… Too soon? OMG that flight SUCKED!!!
I woke up the March 11th to my alarm on my Blackberry (a song called Atomic Love by the Beatsteaks). I checked my messages. I had one from Carolyn Gray. Sadly the message was that David had passed away on March 9th. Tears instantly formed in my eyes; my heart slowed and my stomach dropped as I realized that the world had just lost a truly remarkable human being. I wrote Carolyn asking if I could dedicate my talks to David and the Grays that day. I felt compelled to mention their inspiring story and how despite everything that they had been going through how they still brought me to Barrie to speak in the schools. David gave back until his very last day. I wanted the generosity of the Grays to inspire others the way it had inspired me. Carolyn gave me the go ahead. She said that they would be there in spirit. This meant to me that I would have a fourth chair onstage with me.
I cried more tears in the shower. As I got ready still more fell. As I drove the familiar route to Barrie North more tears fell from my eyes. As I entered the gymnasium again with Chris Samis leading me in my tears began forming again. I kept getting déjà vu. In so many ways it was just like a year before, only sadly I knew that this year the Gray family would not be coming through the door like they had a year ago. As Carolyn said they were there in spirit this time, and I felt that, still it was sad to know that David was gone. Mr Samis mentioned the Grays as he introduced me to the 500+ strong audience. What a respectful bunch of students! As I listened to his sincere words, tears formed in my eyes again. I told myself as I fought back the tears backstage that I would keep it together through the talk. I did.
I put everything I had into the words I shared with the students at Barrie North Collegiate Institute on March 11th, 2010. I placed a fourth chair on stage for David. I ended by telling a short version of this story you are reading about the Gray’s. I challenged each student to do one good thing over March Break. One good deed goes a long way. And if every one of the 500 students in that room did a good deed over a week long period it would not only significantly impact their community, but maybe their province, maybe our country, or maybe even the world. I thought this was the best way anyone could honour the life of David Gray. Because David Gray was all about making his community and others as well a better place.
I was met by many students after my presentation at Barrie North. I posed for pictures, shook hands, gave hugs and heard many thank yous from students and teachers. One student even gave me his hat. I took a shot with it on for the yearbook. I hope it makes it in! Some of the tech students gave me a sweet copy of my presentation that they had recorded. I felt that I had made a difference in that gymnasium. I knew that I was only there because of the Gray’s generosity and for that I was so very grateful. Not many schools have the funding to pay for a flight, rental car, hotel, food, gas and my speaking fee. The Grays made all of this possible two years in a row!!
Before my next presentation at Innisdale Secondary School in Barrie I spoke with Carolyn on the phone. Her strength moved me. I explained how I had ended my presentation, and she told me an ironic story…
Carolyn was in the process of writing David’s eulogy. In it she tells a story of how on one of their first dates he had pulled his Jeep over only to leap out and run through traffic to help an old lady across the street. The lady was visibly struggling and it was David who came to her rescue. A cynic might suspect such heroism would just be showing off. But David wasn’t showing off. This was just David. When Carolyn sarcastically asked him where he came from, he didn’t give her a cocky answer like some TV hero might. Nope. He just replied “Sarnia.” Modest and funny. This was David. Now the ironic twist… One of my suggestions to the students at Barrie North on doing one small deed was to… Yep you guessed it. “Walk an old lady across the street.” This is one of those connections that just seems to be more than a pure coincidence. Maybe David was chilling in one of those chairs on stage if even for just a brief moment. Maybe that is where the words I candidly spoke that day came from.
I ended my presentation that afternoon in Innisdale much how I had ended my talk at Barrie North - recognizing the Grays and all that they do for their community. I felt that my talk at Innisdale was very well received by the grade 12s in attendance. It truly was a remarkable day for me to be able to turn the sadness of David’s passing into something positive and hopefully inspiring and motivating for those who heard me speak. So far the messages I have read have been quite positive. I will respond to those hopefully tomorrow before my flight.
Thursday night I stayed with friends in Oakville. Stacey, Kurt and I talked about life that night. They knew of the Grays from previous conversations we had about them. Despite not knowing them personally, my friends were moved and saddened by David’s passing. Friday morning I drove to Smithville, Ontario and spoke at South Lincoln High School. Once again I placed a fourth chair on stage with me for David and introduced and explained the cowbell that had made the journey with me from Vancouver. It was for me a symbol of the preciousness of life – a theme that I have always spoke of but now want to emphasize even more.
I felt that my talk at South Lincoln was very well received. It ended with me being surrounded by students, some crying, giving handshakes and hugs. I heard repeated thank you’s. I was given a really cool gift bag with goodies from the school and a really cool OSAID t-shirt autographed by the OSAID team. I spent lunch and a better part of the afternoon with South Lincoln OSAID students. The conversation was a little on the lighter side… spandex, bees, indecent treatment of cats, dancing, prancing and yes some topics relevant to my visit to the school were discussed. I told you that I would mention this in my blog… You thought I wouldn’t right Prancer!? HAHA. Good times hangin with you all! Watch out for the exploding perogies Jack!
Originally I was supposed to fly home Friday evening, but I wanted to pay my respects to David and the Grays by attending his service on Saturday. I accidentally had woke up an hour earlier Friday morning by setting my alarm wrong, so in my spare hour I changed all of my travel plans so I could stay in Barrie for the weekend. I saw this as a meant to be kind of thing. I drove to Barrie from Smithville that afternoon. As I drove I thought all about life and the past two days. I thought about how people’s stories, our stories, my story can inspire others or change people’s lives. I thought about the Gray’s story and wondered how I could truly honour them. The idea for this blog entered my head and now days later I am still writing it… Days later you may still be reading it for I have lost track of how long this blog is by now… It feels like it might be more of a book than a blog.
I rested Friday night and woke up fairly early Saturday morning. I went to work in the AM writing this blog. I wrote as long as I could until it was time to shower and get ready for David’s service. I punched the address into my GPS and let Claire lead the way. I listened to a song called Carry On by MANOWAR on repeat (truly Kevy Metal style). It might not have been David or Carolyn’s song of choice, but the lyrics to Carry On spoke to me. The song is all about leaving a legacy behind after we are gone. I was pretty into Carry On and not really paying so much attention when I noticed that GPS Claire was telling me that an empty field was my destination. AWESOME! I was lost. I could’ve used some directions from David that day. Fortunately as I was turning around a fire truck hastily drove past me. I assumed the fire truck sans lights and sirens was likely going to David’s service. Carolyn had told me that his was going to be a traditional firefighter’s service attended by many firefighters.
Sure enough the fire truck led me to where I wanted to go… Another twist of fate? Upon pulling into the church, I saw more firefighters in one place than I had ever seen. The parking lots was packed. This was a service fit for a hero. David Gray deserved no less. I knew hardly a soul at the service besides Carolyn, Michael and Cameron. I did meet a few students who had seen me speak at their school who were kind enough to chat with me, so I didn’t feel totally alone. Carolyn welcomed me when she saw me as well. Her eyes were swollen and red. Soon mine would be too. Despite the Tweet I posted I did not wear my aviators inside to hide my tears. I sat in the back of the church among countless family, friends, colleagues and supporters and admirers. I watched the most remarkable service I have ever seen. One that brought me and surely everyone in that room to tears on at least a couple of occasions. There we speeches by high ranking members of Ontario firefighters that were moving. But it was Carolyn’s speech that hit me hardest. I was proud of her because she delivered it like a champ. There wasn’t a dry eye in the building when she was done. David’s best buddy Chris followed Carolyn’s speech. Chris provided some comedy relief in the form of many great stories about David.
Between the formal talks by highly ranked firefighters, to that of a grieving wife to that of a grieving best friend I got to learn and see even more of what an incredible one-of-a-kind person David Gray was. I can say that I am truly honoured to have known him.
I attended a reception after David’s funeral, where again I knew next to nobody. I met a few new friends in the mix but mostly spent my time with the Carolyn and her boys. I watched as a group of bagpipers salute and toast David “a fallen brother” amidst playing classic songs… Amazing Grace, among others. I met some of David’s closest friends and relatives and each had one thing in common. Everyone I met truly loved and admired David Gray. Everyone I met only had the nicest things to say about Dave and genuinely meant their words. Everyone came together and honoured a great man that day. I felt fortunate to be a part of the group. I will always have a soft spot in my heart for the Gray family and know that no matter where this life takes me I will never forget about them.
I flew home from Toronto yesterday. I was a little worse for wear after the late night I had on Saturday compliments of a tour of Barrie with David’s close firefighter friend Bill. Thanks buddy!!! I slept most of the plane ride home until I got another sinus headache… Awesome!
I was happy to land in Vancouver - Home sweet home. I left the plane, grabbed my bags and sky-trained into Richmond on the new Canada line. It’s pretty cool. Fortunately my truck that had been technically illegally parked for four nights was not towed. I drove to UBC and picked up Sam. We had sushi at The Eatery in Kits then moved our party to a cool pub in Kits to watch the Canucks win a great game. Sam drank caesars while I sipped on every manly drink I could order from a virgin caesar, to a root beer float, to Bombay Chai tea. I listened to Carry On when I got back to the truck to prove that I still had some fly eyes…
Throughout yesterday and today and I am sure many days to follow I will be thinking about David, Carolyn, Michael and Cameron Gray. I am so very lucky to know this remarkable family. I am even luckier to have been able to meet David. I only wish I could’ve known him for more time. Maybe we could have gone fishing together. Maybe he could’ve put a firecracker in my nose. Inside joke. I learned this weekend that firefighters pull some knarly pranks! I will never forget the presence that David had. I will never forget his warming smile or that twinkle in his eye that everyone who I have spoken with who knew Dave spoke so warmly of. You can even see it in pictures of him. I think of it as his spark for life. I will think of David and the Gray family’s courage and strength to persevere throughout my own life when times get tough. I will look to their selfless desire to give back to their community as an inspiration to give more myself. I believe that this experience has changed me. I want to be a better person. I want to give more. I plan to turn all of this into a stronger presentation in the schools where I speak – starting on St Patrick’s Day in Tucson, Arizona and to wherever my story that I share takes me.
Carolyn said some words of David’s in her eulogy that struck me. “You never know why a person is where they are in their life or how they got there.” Truly some of people are given a rough go in life. Still, they, we are all people. We share that bond no matter what, or where, or who or why or when…. Every one of us was born into this world an innocent child – a human being just wanting to be loved, encouraged and supported through the good and the bad. Sometimes we meet people for a reason. Maybe if we took the time to get to know more people and treat others better and love and care more then this world would be a better place. Maybe we shouldn’t be so quick to judge others or turn our backs when someone is in need. David did not judge people. He worked in the toughest area of Toronto and likely saw things that most have never seen or would prefer to turn a blind eye to. Whereas many might choose to judge rather than hold out a helpful hand, David’s role on this earth was to give his hand. He didn’t expect anything in return for his helping hand either. He just continued to reach out with it over and over again. David just wanted to make the world a better place and he knew that through his position in the world that he was able to do this. He chose his job so he could help others; he used money from his job to bring people with inspiring stories and or messages to his community to help inspire, encourage and motivate the youth; he started initiatives in his community to have things like playgrounds built for kids. I bet that through all of the great things that David did, in his humble, modest way he never knew that his story was among the most inspiring of all.
We only get one shot at life. It goes by fast. Shouldn’t we spend more time giving than taking? Isn’t that what life is all about?
If you have taken the time to read this entire blog… Uncle Geo I know you think they are too long but GFYS (love you)… I ask you to ask yourself these four questions…
* Are you living your life to the fullest?
* Do you cherish those people around you who love you most and recognize what a gift that love truly is?
* What are you doing to make this world a better place? If you have trouble answering this question, what can you do? Start small and build…
* What is your legacy that you are going to leave behind when you are gone?
You don’t need to wear a cape to be a super hero. You just need to care, to love and to give…
The world will miss you David Gray but your memory and your legacy will live on and continue to make the world a better place.
This blog is dedicated to the Gray family.
Carry On… my sons forever
Carry On… when I am gone
Carry On… when the day is long
Forever Carry On
For as long as we’re together then
Forever Carry On
Carry On!
Thanks for reading
Kevin