Aware That the Karma Continues…

Posted March 30, 2010

I am going to write a short blog for once…

 

Today was so awesome.  I got jacked up on caffeine and punk rock on the way to Fraser Heights.  I have been speaking there every year to grade 12s classes since 2008.  It has become one of my favourite schools to speak at.  I love rolling up (pun intended) and knowing the principal, and where I’ll be speaking…  I love not having to try and find the address to the school (because for some reason school websites usually hide their addresses).

 

Today was just one of those days…  I feel like great things happened in that room.  I have had some excellent feedback.  It is so rad to know that people got what I was saying.  I want to thank everyone from today for being such an amazing audience.  I can’t wait to be back again next year!  I am excited…  Like when I think about it I get stoked (if anyone didn’t know what excited meant).

 

I got some awesome news today too.  Over lunch with Karen from ICBC I peaked at my Blackberry.  I had 20 messages!  This is pretty standard these days.  I am a little OCD in that I cannot handle having unchecked messages on my BB.  So I went through them all quickly.

 

One message was from Scotia Bank.  It turns out an anonymous donor who supports my speaking wants to help me out by purchasing me a new wheelchair.  This is amazing!  You should see the smile on my face – still!  I need a new chair so badly.  Mine is literally falling apart.  I have no insurance, no medical and definitely no $7000 to buy a new one, so I just make do.  But now because of some amazingly generous person who I may never even know I am able to get some new wheels….  I am going to check out some Steel Horses tomorrow.  I call wheelchairs Steel Horses…  Totally stole it from MANOWAR haha…  It just sounds way more badass, don’t you think?

 

I wrote this huge blog yesterday about Karma.  It appears that Karma continues to be a huge factor in my life.  I am in such a great mood right now.  I am so happy.  I don’t even know how to properly explain.  It just feels like I am on the right path.  I have no doubts about it.  I love my life and cherish every single experience that fills each of my days.

 

You know so much happens in a day in anyone’s life.  It can be easy to just live but not notice the little things or the big things even.  I find that I am very aware of being aware these days.  No matter what the feeling or the experience I really try to absorb life’s occurrences, emotions, moments and feelings and understand and appreciate them for what they are…  This even goes for the bad.  If we didn’t have the bad.  We wouldn’t appreciate the good.  The world finds balance… sometimes we just have to be patient.  Sometimes we just have to look a little harder and be more aware.

 

Well, I am up in around 6 ½ hours…  It’s time for bed.  Thanks for reading.

 

…AND thanks to everyone from Fraser heights today (students, Ms Murray, Mr Holland) and thanks to everyone from yesterday at Kitsilano Secondary (students, Emilie, staff, Deacon and metal dude ~ I forgot your name buddy but I remember you dig Maiden).  LASTLY THANK YOU SO MUCH ANONYMOUS DONOR!!!  Holy crap!  Your generosity is like none I have ever known!!!!

 

~: )

 

Kevin

 

Insta Karma

Posted March 29, 2010

GFYS

Okanagan Tour / Somebody Out Something in my Drink

Posted March 25, 2010

Written March 24th.

Apparently I perform great on no sleep!  Oh and I should NOTE: Don’t be alarmed.  There was nothing slipt in my drink.  I just feel really random and funny right now and the song from the Ramones came into my head…

 

I was out pretty late last night in Kelowna with my cousins.  It was a fun night that ended with me having an impromptu sleepover with a new “friend.”  I had slept maybe a maximum of one hour when my alarm went off at 6:30am this morning.  The song Old Dog by the Slackers rang in my ears…  There couldn’t have been a more fitting song to wake me from my one hour slumber.  I was feeling like much like an old dog at 6:30am this morning.

 

Today is day three of my week long Okanagan tour.  Up until today I had been pretty happy with my presentations thus far, but truthfully not 110% overly excited.  I’ll explain…  Last week in Tucson, Arizona I had the grand slam of all presentations.  The response throughout the day and the days that followed and still now are something I had only seen the likes of a couple of times before.  So I guess I went into this tour with some pretty high expectations.

 

Now don’t get me wrong.  The schools, Vernon Secondary, Barriere Secondary, Valleyview Secondary and AL Fortune all were full of respectful (for the most part – grade 8 boys I wanted to strangle excluded) great audiences.  I, however, did not feel like I had delivered rock star performances to the form that I had done the previous week.  I am aware that I am definitely my own toughest cricket…  (Critic for those of you who don’t watch Simpsons).  Still, I was feeling a little down yesterday as I left Enderby – thinking that I hadn’t made the maximum impact that I know that I can.  As I drove I tried to tell myself that all was fine, but I was just feeling bummed.  It was one of those drives where I couldn’t even find a tune that stoked me… and with 15, 000+ songs on my iPod this should not be an issue.

 

Things started to turn around when I got to my hotel in Kelowna.  My cousin, Sharpee, had a treat for me.  He is the First Cook at the restaurant at the Grand Hotel Okanagan and he had prepped some tasty dishes for me to try.  As I sat at my table watching the sunset over Lake Okanagan, my spirits began to lift.  I was very happy to see some feedback from the day via emails from students.  The emails and messages I was getting gave me the assurance that I had indeed made an impact yesterday on a number of students.  Despite my personal criticisms I had.  NOTE:  I really do read every single email I get.  The messages I receive are in so many ways the driving force that motivates me to speak.  If I didn’t think I made a difference…  Wait… If I didn’t know that I was making a difference, I would shut ‘er down on the speaking and find a real job… God Forbid.  I never want this trip to end.  It is what makes me happiest in life.

 

Dinner at the Grand:  One by one, dishes were delivered to my table by a cute server whom I was flirting with.  Each dish was delicious, and seemed to get richer, tastier and larger each time a new one would come out.  I warned the server that I was like a dog (not an old one yet though) in that I would keep eating as long as there was food in front of me.  Dinner was rounded off with a piece of chocolate cake that was to die for.  I was a little worried that I might blow a tire from the extra weight after all that I ate, but thankfully I didn’t.

 

So while my belly got fuller over dinner, as did the inbox of my email.  I ate and ate and read and read.  As more messages came in, I felt happier and happier knowing that this week had indeed been a success.  All of a sudden my day was turned around and I was feeling very happy.  It started to make sense…  As my buddy and agent Jason told me on the phone not every day can be a home run.  I want them to be though. That is the trouble.  What I am now coming to understand is that each town, city, school, country (I guess I can say now too) will be different than the last.  I can’t compare one school to the next.  It isn’t really fair.  People will react in different ways and that does not mean I wasn’t effective.  As long as I give it my all, I have to be stoked!

 

So I returned to my room feeling enlightened but definitely not lightened around my waist line…  I tried to write a blog, but last night I really had nothing much to say…  Unlike tonight when I am so very well spoken and on topic.  Yeah it is called sacrcasm!  And I can’t f’n speel it.  Oh I can’t f’n spell that either!  WOW!  As I attempted to write my blog last night I found myself mostly bitching about the fact that this hotel charged $9.99 for an internet connection…  I also went on to say that I would not be paying for said internet connection out of principle.  But, along with the blog I attempted to write, that statement went down the tubes… hence these words you are reading.  I paid so you could read this!!!  To keep reading please send one dollar in the mail to…  Kidding.  That was my KBS speel…  Get it?…  Instead of PBS it’s KBS…  I am delirious!

 

So what else exciting has happened today or tonight?… 

 

I had an interesting BBM exchange with a new friend, whom I had met last weekend…  BACKTRACK:  On Saturday night I went to a 70s theme party in Vancouver with Danimal and a couple of girls, one of whom I had never met.  Her name is Jeanine.  I was feeling pretty rad dressed up as Johnny Rotten from the Sex Pistols - safety pins, white loafers and red Mohawk included! – even though nobody at the party thought I was even dressed 70s.   I knew differently.  As a special bonus, the lack of familiarity at the party with Jonny Rotten gave me a chance to enlighten some of the man purse wearing gearboxes about the history of punk rock.  As a trade off they enlightened me on the wonderful world of bedazzling t-shirts…  No.  I didn’t talk to many man purses.  I wasn’t there to meet dudes.  In fact, I was hoping to meet some girls and girls I did meet - a lot of girls.  I was on fire that night…  Wait I have gotten off track… Random meter has broken off hasn’t it? HEY I paid to write this…  I’ll go wherever I want with it!  By the way, have you mailed me that dollar yet?  Ok WTF I gotta get back on track…  Where was I?  Oh yeah… I met one girl who I was writing about before I got all The Situation from Jersey Shore on ya!  Hold on a second while I punch myself in the eye.  What is wrong with me?  I can’t keep focussed.

 

Jeanine wrote me a message last night saying that she had recently read every single blog that I had ever written.  It took her around four hours to do so.  People read this!  Now although she was admittedly feeling somewhat on the stalkerish side, I was very impressed with the fact that someone would take such an interest in my words I write.  Not only was she stoked on my blog, but Janine also asked me the million dollar question.  What is up with my book?  FML!  HAHA…  ANSWER: So yeah the book went on hiatus if anyone was wondering, as I lost my groove and never did find it again.  However, last night I was inspired to at least revisit some of my writings.  Those of you waiting on Just Wiggle Your Toes the book…  Please be patient.  Expect it to be something like the last Guns and Roses release.  It took forever to come out and it sucked.  No wait.  I love that album.  I think somebody slipped something in my drink….  I hope to get back writing my book again soon.  That book needs to be written!  I know.  It does and one day it will.

Anyways…  On with the NITE…

 

After my blog attempt ended and after I sent Jeanine the rough copy of Just Wiggle Your Toes (as I had last left it), I left my room.  I had plans to meet my cousin Sharpee downstairs in the hotel lounge.  I had invited my waitress from earlier on in the night out as well and was pleasantly surpised to see her chilling with Sharpee waiting for me.  We all left the hotel together and walked and rolled to a nearby pub / restaurant where my cousin Alina works.  We hung out there until it closed then we moved our party, with Alina onboard now, to another pub in town.  I don’t remember what it was called.  I all I know and care to know or say is that this pub played SICK tunes.  Against Me! was on heavy rotation, and I also heard some tunes from Rise Against and Bad Religion.  This makes Kevin happy!  We shut down the punk rock pub and headed our separate ways.  Alina and Sharpee went home and new friend and I went to my hotel. … Which leads me to this morning when I woke up to the song / alarm on my BB singing… I’m just an old dog…

 

Despite being tired I was convinced that today was going to be a rocking day.  I remembered that I had had a sick talk at Summerland Secondary School years ago.  I arrived right on time and was recognized by the teachers and principals and welcomed warmly.  I was feeling good vibes.  I spoke in a theatre (my favourite) and all of the AV and everything was perfect.  I posted a Tweet right before my talk calling this morning’s presentation my best of the tour.  I called it right.  There are just certain times when something magic happens in the room where I am speaking and today was one of those days.  There is an energy that I can’t totally explain.  If I were to try my best I would just say it is the feeling of knowing that my messages are not only being delivered, but they also are being absorbed and truly appreciated by, essentially,  everyone in the room.  The feeling is one of bonding an entire room of people together with my story.  The feeling is the home run or grand slam feeling that I strive for every time I speak.  Well today I got it again!  I left the school STOKED! And a little tired I will admit, but not too tired to be smiling…  Summerland was my best talk since Salpointe hands down. 

 

I will admit that as I drove away from Summerland I was thinking how nice it would be to go back to my hotel for a nice sleep in my King sized bed.  Yet this was not an option.  I had a two hour drive to Kamloops ahead of me.  Once in the Loops, the plan was to speak at a school called St Anne’s.  I have never spoken at St Anne’s, and all that I knew was that it was a Catholic School.  SWEET!!!  I LOVE speaking in Catholic Schools.  I am serious.  That sounded sarcastic maybe but it wasn’t.  I don’t know the reason exactly, but I can say without a doubt that many of my best ever presentations have been in Catholic Schools… Salpointe, St Pius X, Sacred Heart, Notredame…  The list goes on and on….  St Anne’s today was another beauty.  The students were awesome and the staff were so welcoming and accommodating and kind.  The principal fed me and gave me a SAA shirt!  Pretty cool!

Now I must add that although I was bitching a bit about my first four presentations of the tour before in this blog, they really weren’t bad at all.  If anyone is reading this thinking “hey dude, I thought the pres’ was good at my school.” Cool.  I’m not saying it wasn’t.  I am just a pissy little biatch these days…  Maybe it has to do with being an old dog!  I do know that I could have not even written any of this.  But, I have learned that people appreciate my honesty in my writing…  for example…  hey Delta Grand Okanagan Hotel GFY $9.99 internet charge you greedy money grubbers…  maybe put that $9.99 to some new carpets in my room!  HAHA…  Where the heck was I? 

 

How about I just sum this up by saying today was the best day of the tour.  I am stoked.  And after today I am more stoked on the presentations earlier in the week because I understand that they were all good too…  The emails I’ve received are very encouraging.  I just need to set my standards a little lower…  Nah…  that’s not right.  I need to understand that every presentation and every day will have a different feel.  As long as I give my all, I should feel happy.  Every time I write Give It My All, I think of this Rise Against song.

 

Well, I am pretty tired and seriously kind of delirious…  I mean did you read this blog? Duh…  Of course you did.  Or did you skim to this sentence?  Wow, wouldn’t I look like an ass if you did?  No not really.  I think somebody put something in my drink… 

Okanagan you have been good to me.  Thanks to everyone who has listened, thanked, written or approched me on this tour.  I do it for you.  I give it all and will continue to do so as long as I know you appreciate it and gain from it.  This tour has been fantastic so far and has turned into yet another growing and insightful experience for yours truly.  Thanks to everyone so far!!!  Tomorrow shall be another great day!!

 

Today I offer up my self to this I’m living for my dying wish.  I give it all.  Now there’s a reason.  There’s a reason.  To give it all…  R.A.

 

Over.

 

KBS

Salpointe

Posted March 17, 2010

If it were up to me I would edit the dictionary.  Beside the word happy I would place a picture of myself laying by the pool at my hotel in Tucson on March 17th, 2010 wearing a Salpointe Lancers t-shirt (I was so generously given today) after one of the most incredible days of my life! 

No I am not some ego-maniac that needs to have his face in the dictionary for all to see…  I’d rather my face be plastered all over moustache aficionado quite frankly (if I could only grow a sick ‘stache).  My dictionary analogy is just the best way I can describe how I feel right here and right now as I write these very words you are reading…  Hiya by the way!  Thanks for reading!!

Today started great!  Why?  Well not necessarily because of my 5:30am wake up…  Actually, no that didn’t even bother me because today I woke up in Tucson, Arizona.  I will admit I was feeling a little worse for wear when I awoke.  I had a pretty sketchy sleep last night.  I kept waking up and not being able to fall back asleep.  I think it may have had something to do with the two In & Out Double-Double Burgers done Animal Style that I annihilated merely a half hour before I went to bed.  Don’t get me wrong, the burgers were amazing…  maybe just not the best peaceful sleepy dreams meal to have before bed…  Ahhhh but no regrets!

I was met this morning in my hotel lobby by a very soft spoken gentle soul of a man named Mr. Urbanski.  He was to be my escort this morning to Salpointe Catholic School.  Mr. Urbanski set the day off on the right note.  He is a great guy and like most people I have met in this fantastic state of Arizona a happy, tanned, pleasant person to be around.  We chatted for the entire 25minute trip to the school.  I learned some history on Salpointe, which started me thinking about how I could effectively speak and make a difference there today. 

We arrived at the school quite early and were able to have everything ready-set-and-go in time for me to present.  Believe it or not this doesn’t happen that often.  I had a great team working with me today!!!  I just have to say that if I were to mention every person who made today a fantastic day then I would be writing a dictionary sized list.  Salpointe works like a team, and this team made my day simpler by providing everything that I could ask for and more.

The first presentation was for grade 11s… sorry still can’t figure out the terminology…  EH!  Was it Juniors?  I think that I got it right…  Freshmen, Sophomore, Junior and Senior right!!??  Sweet if I got it.  Anyways, I was feeling a little tired but was ready to deliver a talk that I hoped would mean something to all that heard it.  Well, let me tell you…  The response this morning was awesome!  I could not have asked for a better audience.  Little did I know that this was only the first of three of the sort that I would see today. 

One of my favourite things about this morning’s audience is that they were really laughing at my jokes…  like even the ones that sometimes go by unnoticed.  All of my jokes were getting big laughs.  And this, I tell you, gives me great deal of confidence on stage and makes the entire experience more fun for me.  Humour and fun is the other half of a balance between intensity that I need to deliver my very best.  I think I did a pretty good job, as I was swarmed afterwards by almost every single student that had been in attendance.  I shook so many hands…  I like shaking hands…  maybe I am old school… I don’t know.  Hayley’s soccer team taps elbows now to avoid spreading germs after the whole H1N1 scare…  seems kinda crazy to me.  I prefer the handshake and washing my hands… I was stoked at how many people approached me today.  It is how I judge my effectiveness.  I’d say today was a success!

I was stoked at the end of the Junior presentation!

When hands were all shaken, after hugs were all delivered and after more “Thank You’s” than I could keep track of were said, I left the theatre feeling pretty proud of myself.  I was escorted around the school by two awesomely amazing SADD students - the very two students who were instrumental in making my visit today possible.  As I made my way through the hallways, students thanked me and just made me feel so appreciated.  I was stoked… more stoked!  And the sun was shining too.  I wore shorts today and a Dropkick Murphy’s shirt to honour St Patty’s Day!  What a day!  There is a theme here…  Kevin had a GREAT DAY!

It wasn’t long until the next group – the Seniors  (Grade 12s for all you Canadian readers EH!) - were entering the room.  I chatted with more great people (students and staff alike) in the meantime while the Seniors got settled.   I then took my place backstage awaiting my introduction by the girls in pink.  OK confession time….  I totally suck and can’t remember one of your names…  I wasn’t lying today when I said I suck with names.  I hope you aren’t reading this and thinking “Kevin you suck!” even though I just said it myself.  Girls I will never forget you… Your faces are etched into my brain for life…  Please don’t judge me for my crappy name memorizing skills or lack there-of…  If I were to remember names I wouldn’t know where the blue and white wheelchair parking spots were all over North America.  Anyways… I am sorry, but please know that you are BOTH AWESOME and SO VERY APPRECIATED!!… and yeah I kind of suck!

 

The Senior presentation started off great!  They were also digging my jokes.  I often feel the most comfortable in front of a grade 12 class.  I am not sure if it is because we are the closest in age or what.  I just feel that my best presentations tend to be in front of grade 12 groups.  Today was no exception.  Needless to say (why do we say it if it’s so needless?) I was very happy with the outcome of presentation number two today!  NOTE: WOW!  Like seriously… There are certain days when I just feel that something special is happening in the room.  I can’t totally explain it.  Maybe it is just me knowing that my words are being heard and that they are indeed making a difference.  I can’t think of a better feeling that I know of than this feeling.  It is almost indescribable…  it defines all English definition in the most positive of ways…  American and Canadian English versions and even the German Wersion too! 

 

Many more shaken hands, many more thank you’s and hugs, a bunch of fist pounds and a picture or two later, and I am pretty sure I was all smiles….  OK and how could I almost leave out the standing ovation!!!  I LOVED THAT!!!!!  Thanks.  NOTE:  Sometimes people tell me that they aren’t sure if they should stand and give me an ovation.  Like out of respect for me because I can’t stand.  I just want to set the record straight.  I LOVE getting standing ovations.  Just like I want you to wiggle your toes, I want you to stand, I want you to run, jump, bike, skate, knit… well you get the point…  I LOVE STANDING OVATIONS!!!

 

Next was my 90 minute break.  It went by too fast…  In fact the entire day did.  Even right now as midnight approaches I just want more time.  During my break, everywhere I turned I was met by students who had seen me speak and who wanted to talk to me.  I absolutely love this interaction.  I even told the teacher who was organizing today that I did not want quiet time, as I would rather hang out with everyone and chat.  Of course Mrs. Villanueva was only trying to be the best host that she could be (and she was).  I am sure some speakers like their quiet time.  Me… I like hanging with students and eating double barrel hotdogs wrapped in bacon with a pile of southwest toppings on top!  I so wish I could remember the name of this special treat or where it came fromAgain me and names…  it’s not just people.  I can’t remember the names of restaurants and hotdogs either.  Nor, do I remember the name of that awesome drink Mrs. V got me…  I do remember a very sweet birthday girl giving me a brownie, another sweet SADD girl in pink (who thinks I suck possibly for forgetting her name but I really hope not) giving me a cookie, a group of guys and girls giving me some awesome t-shirts…  the list just goes on and on!…  A dude giving me a piece of his cookie (these awesomely delicious cookies they make at Salpointe!), a dude offering to take me rock climbing (Robert wrote me a formal invite too – next time dude)…  You were all just so good to me.  PS.  Thanks for lunch Mrs. V!!!

I really enjoyed talking with everyone today formally and informally.  I think that my time hanging with people when I am off the mic can be just as valuable as my time on the mic because that is where we truly bond one on one.  Believe it or not…  I like getting to hear others speak too!  Really I do!  I am really glad I met everyone that I met today.  Speaking of interaction… the emails just keep coming in.  I responded for about two hours straight before I started writing this blog…  I looked at my Blackberry a minute ago and I have a ton more messages!  SUCCESS!  Oh and now mid-edit I looked at my Shizniz page and read all of the comments, and people you brought some mistiness to my eyes again!  I haven’t had a response like this for a while and I really needed it.  THANKS. THANKS.  THANKS.

I’m all over the place here EH!  So the 90 minute break just ripped by and before I knew it I was setting up for my third and final presentation of the day.  Honestly speaking there are times when I am tired and or drained and I don’t feel like I can do that next presentation, but today I did not feel this way at all.  If the school was still open and people were there to listen, I would still be on the mic.  I didn’t want the day to end.  Still don’t.

It was pretty cool during that final show to see some familiar faces of guys and girls who where in attendance to watch me again.  This always means a lot to me.  Not that I condone skipping class.  I am just totally honoured when people go to such great lengths to watch me a second time.  I compare it to movies, or Family Guy episodes or CDs that I have had to take on for a second rip… and well I know what it takes for me to want to hear or see something twice.  This comparison makes it such an honour for me when people want to put my prez on repeat.  HAHA (I refuse to write LOL except in the context of me dissing it or explaining that I won’t write it)… I giggled to myself (I GTM “The new LOL”) thinking of how I kept looking at this one group of dudes in the bleachers in the third talk.  Every time I looked their way, I just got this big smile because I was so stoked they were there.

 

I was also really happy to see Mrs V and Isabella and Chanel!!!!   I remembered your names!!!  I might edit the “forgot your name” part out from before but maybe not…  only you will know when you read this.  Chanel and Isabella you are awesome!!!!  Ok, so SADD girls in pink (Isabella and Chanel and Mrs V) were there watching me for all three presentations today.  They had worked so hard to bring me to the school.  I felt like they were my biggest fans.  Each presentation their laughs got louder.  They knew when the jokes were coming and were ready for them.  They looked on at me with this look that in thinking about it now seriously just brought a tear to my eye…  Wow I am emotional tonight!  These girls worked so hard to get me to the school, and I was so happy and proud to be delivering what they had believed I could deliver.  I loved having all three of you in my corner today!  I loved how you were down with the 3peat.  I would look your way and each of you would smile.  You had my back!  NOTE: HEY…  If you are reading this and you are from Salpointe, check out SADD.  They are responsible for bringing me into the school.  If you were inspired by today and want to make a difference this could be a great way for you to do so!

Freshmen and sophomores made up the final group.  Presentation number 3 = Grade 9 and 10.  Sometimes these can be the rowdiest of crowds… A few teachers even gave me the heads up.  Well guess what… they were awesome!  Even with my mic kind of sketching out on me a bit near the end, the audience was full on respect.  Like wow!  I can’t even believe today!  Seriously.  I could not have hoped for three better groups of students or a better day!  Thank you all…  PS.  I don’t think my voice has ever projected so loud since I had those wonderful tubes in my throat years ago!

And Now I reflect a bit….

Ten years ago to this day… You know like right now but ten years ago (probs didn’t have to explain that)… If someone was to ask me the perfect day I bet I would say something like this…

Wake up to a sunny day, go skateboarding, then go snowboarding then go see a punk rock super show like NOFX, Rancid, Against Me! and Bad Religion all in one show then end the day getting friendly with a lovely lady… Oh and I most definitely would have added getting pissed as a must in this perfect day…  It slipped my mind only because today getting pissed would not be a part of my perfect day.  Now I can say perfect day ala a decade ago would be awesome still today – minus the getting pissed part.  But… no lie and I have been on stage with NOFX, Rancid, Bad Religion and real close to Against Me!…  I have skated, I have snowboarded…. I have gotten friendly with a lovely lady or two…  ALL THAT ASIDE - Today is my definition of a perfect day!  There is nothing that I could have better done with my time.  There is nothing that could have given me a greater sense of purpose and accomplishment.  There is nothing that could’ve made me feel more fortunate to be alive or more grateful for the path that I have chosen.  There is no better feeling than the way I felt  spending the day at Salpointe Catholic School in sunny, warm Tucson, Arizona.

At the end of presentation #3, there were many more “Thank You’s”, many more hugs, handshakes, fist pounds, pictures and great memories to be shared as I made my way off the school grounds.  I indeed lft on a high note.

The staff, the teachers, the students, the admin, the sponsors, SADD… everyone from today, I thank you.  I met so many people today it’s kind of a blur, but I just want to say this.  If I shook your hand and looked you in the eye, if I exchanged words with you, if I made you smile or you made me smile, if I gave you a gift you will remember, I was moved by you today and you gave me a gift I will always remember.  I will never forget today!

I want to wrap this up by saying that today was my third high school I have ever spoken at in the USA.  Salpointe was also my third high school I have ever spoken at in Arizona.  So yeah to make that a little simpler put I have only ever spoken at high schools in Arizona when it comes to the states.  I spoke at Nogales first, Payson second and now Salpointe.  I have written epic blogs on each of these schools and the experiences I had at them.  In all of my years of speaking these three days are among the most amazing and memorable that I can look back on.  Arizona… I think that we share something special.  I don’t know what exactly it is (well the 30C sunny day today was part of it) but seriously we have a bond that defies words.  I just know it exists and I am so looking forward to the next time we meet again.

I am so happy right now.  I am so grateful for the day.  Salpointe this one is for you!!

Today reminded me what a gift life is.  Today proved to me that I can make a difference.  Today made me so thankful and grateful to be alive.  Today encouraged me to keep growing and conquering the small and the large obstacles along the path of life.  Today made me feel like I have found my true purpose and calling.  Today made me the happiest I have been in some time… I don’t know of a greater gift that that. 

Thank you Salpointe!!!

RESPECT and LOVE.

Kevin
aka kevymetal66 (my gamer tag for you Xboxers)

 

 

In Memory and Honour of David Charles Gray 1961 - 2010

Posted March 15, 2010

In the fall of 2008 I was at home cleaning when my phone rang.  The area code of 705 was unrecognizable to me.  I answered and was met by the voice of a friendly lady who introduced herself as Carolyn Gray.

 

Carolyn lives in Barrie, Ontario.  She explained that every year she and her husband David spearheaded an initiative to bring a speaker to the community to help inspire and motivate the youth of Barrie.  Carolyn had found out about me through Facebook, and she explained how she wanted to add me to the growing list of speakers that the Gray’s had brought to town…  And what an impressive list it was!  The previous speakers were David Suzuki and Eva Olsson (Holocaust Survivor).  I was flattered and honoured to even be considered in the same list as these amazing individuals.  Carolyn told me that her family would cover all of my costs and that all I would have to do is show up and speak.  I had never received a phone call like this from a seemingly random stranger before…  teachers, principals, police – yes.  But never from a someone who wasn’t representing a school or organization of some sort, let alone someone who was going to fund my entire trip privately. 

 

Christmas passed and I hadn’t heard from Carolyn.  We were planning on having me speak in Barrie in February, so I figured I should get a hold of her and figure out the details.  If I remember correctly I wrote her once or twice with no response.  I recall thinking that maybe it had been a little too good sounding to be true (sorry but you never know these days – some of the emails, calls and messages I get!! ).  Maybe I wouldn’t actually be visiting Barrie at all.  Deep down part of me felt that Carolyn was legit.  I hoped I would hear from her soon.

 

When I did hear from Carolyn she sounded different.  Her voice echoed a weakness that I hadn’t heard in our previous conversation months earlier.  Her change of tone proved understandable after she explained to me why she hadn’t gotten back to me sooner.  Her husband David, an Acting Captain of 23 years with Toronto Fire Services, had recently been diagnosed with an extremely aggressive form of brain cancer.  The doctors had assessed David and explained that there really wasn’t much they could do.  His diagnosis was fatal.  He would likely have a maximum of six months to live.

 

I did not know David.  Nor did I really even know Carolyn, who by this point was in tears on the other end of the phone.  I tried to console her as my brain processed the information it had just learned.  As I listened to Carolyn sob I couldn’t help but think of my Grandma Brooks.  A few years ago Grams had been diagnosed with a rapid form of lung cancer only to die within two weeks of her prognosis.  I could relate to Carolyn’s pain to some degree.  I held tight to the phone and talked to Carolyn for what must’ve been an hour.  We shared stories, tears, frustration and laughter during that phone call.  When our conversation was over, I felt extreme sadness for the Gray family.  I hung up the phone wondering how life can be so unfair at times. 

 

As soon as Carolyn told me about David I suggested that we cancel my presentation in Barrie.  But Carolyn shut that idea down fast.  I saw my visit as work for her and a potential financial burden.  Carolyn saw it differently.  Bringing a speaker to Barrie was a tradition that the Grays wanted to carry on despite the Goliath sized challenge fate had just thrown their way.  This was what the Grays’ did.  Carolyn was very adamant that I would still speak in Barrie. 

 

On a brisk February night in 2009, I pulled my rented Chevy Impala (from AVIS - I am so over you) up to the Holiday Inn at 20 Fairview Road in Barrie.  I checked into my room then ate a hearty dinner at the restaurant within the hotel.  As I sat awaiting my dinner, my phone rang.  It was Carolyn on the line.  She just wanted to make sure that everything was running smoothly, the sweet lady that she was.  I ensured her that all was great and that I would see her the following morning at my presentation.   Carolyn sounded different than the last time we had spoke.  Her voice was not weakened but rather seemed to have a renewed strength and passion to it.  I hoped that this was a sign that David was doing well.  .   

 

I was up very early the next day… 7am Eastern Time, but technically 4am for me - my brain and body still on Western Time.  I got ready, packed my gear, made my way to my rental car, punched the address for Barrie North Collegiate Institute into my GPS and drove the 7 or 8 minutes to the school.  I followed the highway down one exit then veered right as Claire the voice of my GPS directed me to do…  I now have Cartman from South Park as my GPS voice.  He curses me up and down.  It is awesome!

 

I noticed that the streets in Barrie looked different than those in Vancouver.  The most obvious difference being the number of brick homes there – Ontario in general I find has tons of brick homes.  Vancouver houses are largely constructed of either wood or stucco.  As far as I know, this has something to do with the extreme difference in climates.  Winter was still very much in the air in Barrie, as snow was piled high on the sides of driveways.  The cold was visible in that way that even with the heater blasting in the car and skies of blue outside, I could still tell just by the look in the air that the temperature was hovering around zero degrees.

 

I met Chris Samis, the principal at Barrie North immediately upon arriving at the school.  He was a strong looking man that seemed very organized and focussed.  I got the sense that Mr Samis ran a tight ship at Barrie North.  I was impressed.  I entered the gymnasium.  It was packed with chairs – over 500.  An entire technical department of staff and students were awaiting my arrival.  Indeed, a tight ship was running strongly and smoothly at Barrie North. 

 

About halfway through the setting up of AV, a tall blonde lady and a tall bald man (granted everyone is tall to me) entered the gymnasium carrying a humungous cache of Tim Horton’s coffee and treats.  This is how I will always remember first meeting the Gray family. 

 

My first impression as we exchanged pleasantries was “Wow what nice people!”  Carolyn was this friendly, energetic, gitty, happy, carefree soul who just permeated positivity.  David seemed more subdued and quieter than Carolyn.  He carried himself with a peaceful almost Zen like presence.  I remember that the calmness surrounding him was very comforting.  It wasn’t an awkward quiet by any means.  I could tell he was a gentle soul.  Carolyn and David’s love for each other was very evident.  The Gray’s were accompanied by their sons Michael and Cameron.  Mike seemed more like mom.  Cam seemed more like dad.  All four of them made up one fine looking family. 

 

Carolyn offered me coffee and treats to which I happily obliged.  I apologized that I didn’t have much time to talk though.  I had to get set up.  So I resumed my role of prima donna public speaker… No I’m not that bad… Though I sometimes feel like a bit of a pain in the ass as my list of requirements grows and grows.  I just know what I need to rock.  That’s it.  That’s not bad is it?  I requested that my lunch this Wednesday at Salpointe School on Tucson, Arizona be In & Out Burgers.  Now that makes perfect sense right?  Not only that, but from now on I am thinking that I am going to write 2 Double Double Burgers Animal Style from In & Out into my contract for any presentations in any state that has In & Out Burger…  Chunky Monkey may be back soon!  I frickin ramble hey?!

 

As I spoke that February day at Barrie North, you could have heard a pin drop.  Soon a sound much louder than a pin dropping grabbed the attention of the room.  Instead of pins the sound of bodies dropping broke the silence.  People were passing out.  Apparently the details I recounted of the hospital, the tubes and the needles must’ve struck a little too close to home for some of the students in attendance.  By the time I was done, two or three students had passed out.  I may need to partner with a speaker on head injuries, as that floor didn’t sound too forgiving as skulls were abruptly introduced to it.  Sorry Barrie North.  I hope nobody was hurt that day. 

 

I don’t know if it was because they liked the presentation or if was because they wanted me to teach them how to make people pass out with words.  Regardless I was mobbed by students after my presentation.  Jokes aside, this was a tell tale sign for me that my mission has been accomplished.  Everyone in attendance seemed very happy with the story and the message that the blonde dude with a Mohawk in the wheelchair with punk rock stickers plastered all over it had just delivered.  Yes this is how I see and describe myself.  I wonder sometimes what the first impression of me is as I enter a school.  I must look like a total punk.  Do teachers look at me and think to themselves “Are you kidding?  This is the speaker.  What has NOFX – your presentation?  Why is there a sticker on your wheelchair claiming that it is RANCID?”  If indeed this is the case, I like it.  I think the element of surprise works to my advantage.

 

After my talk at Barrie North, I went for brunch with Carolyn and David.  We went to a small little place owned by, if I remember correctly, former Maple Leaf Shane Corson….  or maybe it was his mom.  The Grays and I got to know each other better over our meal.  I learned that David was an outdoorsman who loved fishing.  He was the Acting Captain of a fire hall in Toronto and was very passionate about his job.  Carolyn was a former nurse and massage therapist and a full time awesome mom and wife.  I saw a happy, loving, amazingly generous couple.  Their love made me think of my own love in my life at the time.  I hoped that one day I too could be one half of such a happy successful couple.  All thoughts of David’s illness were gone.  Occasionally we spoke of it, but for the most part our conversation was about life and the little funny stories within that remind us we are alive.  As we left, Carolyn took some pictures of me sitting beside the “Please Wait to be Seated” sign in the front of the restaurant.  We all laughed some more.  I’m pretty sure the picture is still in my profile pics on Facebook.

 

David and Carolyn escorted me to my rental car and watched me, as I made them (never one to accept help), load myself and my chair into the vehicle.  We said our goodbyes and in my heart of hearts I knew that I had just made valuable friends.  I watched through my rear view mirror as David and Carolyn walked away towards their own vehicle, when suddenly David turned around.  He walked back to my car and approached the window, so I rolled it down.  David wanted to make sure that I knew how to get back to the highway and to the airport.  I assured him I was fine as I had my trustee GPS to guide me.  Still David insisted upon giving me directions.  I’m not sure if he didn’t trust technology, or if it was just in him to go that extra mile and help or if he was just extending our visit that little bit extra.  I like to think it was a combo of the three, especially the last idea that he just wanted to visit some more..  He stood by my car and explained the directions to me until he was confident that I was ok.  This is the kind of guy that David was.  I thanked him again and we said goodbye again and off he went to join Carolyn in their mini-van to get back to whatever it was they had to do with their day.

 

Once I was confident that the Grays had driven away, I sat in my rental car, the engine running and heater blasting.  Tears began to form in my eyes and roll down my face.  I watched one by one as  my tears dropped onto my jeans leaving little wet marks of sadness.  I cried that day because I knew that this was probably the last time I would ever see this great man David Gray.  I cried because it just didn’t seem right or fair that an awesome guy like David would be taken away from his family, from his friends, from his colleagues, from his community and from this world that obviously benefited so immensely from having him.  I cried and I cried and I cried some more.  It didn’t seem possible that someone so young and so strong and so positive could be fighting this battle that ultimately he could never win.  I wondered why?  Why?

 

Over the next year, I kept fairly regular contact with the Grays.  From what I could tell, David’s health seemed to be miraculously on the up and up.  Weeks turned to months and months into more months.  David had outlived the time frame the doctors had given him.  I only hoped that he would continue to win the battle and steal as much time as he could.  God knows if anyone deserved some extra time on this planet it was David.

 

If you read this blog regularly you would know that in the past year I saw some of my own triumphs, defeats, happy days and heartbreak.  At some of my weakest times I thought of David and Carolyn and their family’s battle.  Their fight often put my own struggles into a clearer perspective, as the Grays’ was the ultimate fight.  When I saw or heard from Carolyn or Dave or saw an update on Facebook, it appeared that things were going well.  I never asked how David was doing.  I just assumed that he was well because I hadn’t heard differently.  I didn’t want to hear differently.  One of the coolest things that I saw this summer was pictures of David and Carolyn renewing their wedding vows.  Dudes probably don’t read this anyways, so I can admit I am a sucker for a sweet love story.  I even watch chick flicks by myself sometimes…  But right now I need to listen to METAL to counter that confession with something tough haha…  The pictures of the wedding looked great.  Carolyn and Dave looked so happy!  They were like school kids in love.  It warmed my heart. 

 

I talked with Carolyn at the end of summer about me speaking in Barrie again in the fall.  We agreed it was a good idea to have me back.  Everything was planned for November when I threw the plans for a loop.  After a very successful SADD Conference in Phoenix, Arizona in which I keynoted, I ended up postponing my trip to Barrie in order to speak in Nogales and Payson, Arizona.  Yeah I know…  I sold Barrie out for the sunshine.  It was a big dilemma for me.  I made my decision the way I often do by asking myself the question…  Which will I regret more?  I saw the opportunity in Arizona as a once in a lifetime.  I never realized that in some ways the Barrie trip would also have been a once in a lifetime, or maybe better put - a last in a lifetime.  In hindsight I would’ve went with Barrie and visited David one more time…. In hindsight.  But what is hindsight?  To look at the bigger picture if hindsight and rewind existed I would’ve never crashed my car; I never would be talking in schools and, most likely, I would’ve never met the Grays.  Also this blog you’re reading would not exist.  Hindsight is here to give us foresight for the next time we’re met with a similar situation.  I’ll remember that decision forever.  Live and learn.  I can’t regret.  Such is life…

 

I had a blast in Arizona!  Arizona was great to me.  My presentations and experiences in Payson and Nogales were among the best I’ve had this year…  Maybe even ever!  Once again, if you read my blogs you know this.  As soon as I was home from Arizona, I began to work on rescheduling Barrie.  The two school contacts I was working with thought February or March would work best.  I opted for early March, as I wanted to be in Vancouver for the Olympics…  which was another great choice.  IE:  Recent blogs, pics on Facebook etc….

 

Carolyn was kept in the loop of all communications and was her normal keener self in always getting right back to me.  Then all of a sudden I hadn’t heard back from her in a while.  I wrote her a couple of emails and even called her but to no avail.  I hoped that the reason she was MIA was that her, David and their sons had hopped on a plane or a boat and headed for somewhere sunny and warm.  I dreaded the thought of and tried to not even put out the energy out there that maybe David’s health had deteriorated and thus she was too occupied with his health to be in contact.  Sadly when I did eventually hear from Carolyn, it wasn’t good news.  David was at home.  There was nothing left the doctors could do.

 

My heart broke when I heard this news.  Once again I will say, as I don’t think it can be said enough, that these are the nicest people anyone could ever meet.  They have so much ahead… So much life yet to live.   They are still so young and so very much in love.  They are the kind of people who give to others and strive to make the world a better place.  Their lives in so many ways define happiness, success and family.  I just didn’t understand how come David was going to be taken away.  I know I have sadly written this before and not to sound cliché, but why is it the good ones that leave us too soon?  David is a good one.  Dave is a great one.  I told Carolyn we should cancel my trip, but she was adamant that I still speak in Barrie.  She didn’t want me to cancel.  I didn’t argue.

 

Over the next month hardly a day went by that I didn’t think about the Gray family.  Their strength and will to squeeze every little last bit out of life that they could inspired and humbled me.  I dedicated presentations to David.  I often caught glimpses in my mind of that modest, friendly smile of his that I encountered a year ago.  I recalled our last time shared together.  Even though I had only met David once and shared relatively little time with him, I was forever moved from meeting this man.  I looked back and remembered the tears I had cried in the parking lot of that diner in Barrie the last time I saw him.  I fought back new tears.  I shared their story with so many people around me.  I wanted the people I cared about in my own circle to know about these fantastic people I had met and their unfortunate struggle.  Maybe the more people that thought about David or cared could send some sort of message to the powers that be that it isn’t time yet.  Keep David Gray alive. 

 

The next time I spoke with Carolyn she told me that David had been moved into hospice.  I knew what this meant.  My grandma Brooks went into hospice with her lung cancer.  Her stay was maybe a week at best.  I knew that David was on his last days.  I tried to support Carolyn as best I could writing words that wouldn’t be cliché or condescending or pointless.  All the while that I wrote I knew that there was really nothing I could say that would make everything better.  Still I would write her and send encouraging, empathetic words hoping if anything I could bring some comfort.  When she wrote me that she was shopping for a coffin for David I couldn’t even imagine how tough that day must’ve been for her.

 

During one of Canada’s games in the Olympics I was at the Cactus Club on Robson Street in Vancouver.  Somebody handed me a cowbell that had the words FORCE FATE on it.  Those words, although I know they are part of an ad campaign (leave cheesiness behind), really struck me.  It was one of those moments of clarity in life…  Like an epiphany, it hit me.  FORCE FATE.  Life is so short.  I need to squeeze every last second of it out.  I need to take chances, calculate smart risks or course, because if I don’t do it today and right now then I am just letting life pass me by.  I mean to some degree I am of course living life to its fullest.  But that moment made me question if could I live it even more.  It hit me so hard that today only comes once, and if we don’t make the most of today it is one less day that we can look back on and say I LIVED THAT DAY.  I think that this mindset is apparent even in recent blogs I have written.  I suddenly realized more than ever that every single day counts. 

 

The Grays were in my mind that evening that I received the cowbell and every other time I pondered those words FORCE FATE or felt inspired by the gift that is life.  I don’t know why so often it is through losing something or someone so valuable that we as people gain.  Maybe this is the universal balance that keeps the world in check.  I don’t know.  As often as I felt sad for the Gray family, I also felt inspired by their strength and their love and their passion for life and their will not to quit.  The Grays truly were forcing fate and living each day like it was their last.  How many people have the chance to really know that the days ahead are numbered… and of those who do, how many really take full advantage like the Grays had been doing?  If this doesn’t kick you in the ass, I don’t know what will.

 

I brought my little cowbell to Barrie with me because I wanted to give it to the Grays as a memento of the Olympics and to just let them know how much they inspire me.  When I arrived in town I knew that I might not get to see them with all that was going on, yet I hoped I would. 

 

Very much like my last trip to Barrie, Ontario a year ago, on March 10th, 2010 I drove up to the Holiday Inn in at 20 Fairview Drive in a rented Chevy Impala .  I called Carolyn from the parking lot, but there was no answer.  I assumed that she was busy.  I ate dinner at the hotel restaurant and fell asleep in bed watching the Canucks on TV.  The game started at 10pm Eastern Time.  I was sleeping a little after midnight.  As much as I love the Canucks I was spent from the travel, not to mention the sinus pressure headache that kicked my ass the entire flight from Vancouver to Toronto.  My skull hurt so bad at times I was wishing we would hit turbulence so the plane could drop thousands of feet just to relieve the pressure.  I was looking for Taliban with box cutters…  Too soon?  OMG that flight SUCKED!!! 

 

I woke up the March 11th to my alarm on my Blackberry (a song called Atomic Love by the Beatsteaks).  I checked my messages.  I had one from Carolyn Gray.  Sadly the message was that David had passed away on March 9th.  Tears instantly formed in my eyes; my heart slowed and my stomach dropped as I realized that the world had just lost a truly remarkable human being.  I wrote Carolyn asking if I could dedicate my talks to David and the Grays that day.  I felt compelled to mention their inspiring story and how despite everything that they had been going through how they still brought me to Barrie to speak in the schools.  David gave back until his very last day.  I wanted the generosity of the Grays to inspire others the way it had inspired me.  Carolyn gave me the go ahead.  She said that they would be there in spirit.  This meant to me that I would have a fourth chair onstage with me.

 

I cried more tears in the shower.  As I got ready still more fell.  As I drove the familiar route to Barrie North more tears fell from my eyes.  As I entered the gymnasium again with Chris Samis leading me in my tears began forming again.  I kept getting  déjà vu.  In so many ways it was just like a year before, only sadly I knew that this year the Gray family would not be coming through the door like they had a year ago.  As Carolyn said they were there in spirit this time, and I felt that, still it was sad to know that David was gone.  Mr Samis mentioned the Grays as he introduced me to the 500+ strong audience.  What a respectful bunch of students!  As I listened to his sincere words, tears formed in my eyes again.  I told myself as I fought back the tears backstage that I would keep it together through the talk.  I did. 

 

I put everything I had into the words I shared with the students at Barrie North Collegiate Institute on March 11th, 2010.  I placed a fourth chair on stage for David.  I ended by telling a short version of this story you are reading about the Gray’s.  I challenged each student to do one good thing over March Break.  One good deed goes a long way.  And if every one of the 500 students in that room did a good deed over a week long period it would not only significantly impact their community, but maybe their province, maybe our country, or maybe even the world.  I thought this was the best way anyone could honour the life of David Gray.  Because David Gray was all about making his community and others as well a better place.

 

I was met by many students after my presentation at Barrie North.  I posed for pictures, shook hands, gave hugs and heard many thank yous from students and teachers.  One student even gave me his hat.  I took a shot with it on for the yearbook.  I hope it makes it in!  Some of the tech students gave me a sweet copy of my presentation that they had recorded. I felt that I had made a difference in that gymnasium.  I knew that I was only there because of the Gray’s generosity and for that I was so very grateful.  Not many schools have the funding to pay for a flight, rental car, hotel, food, gas and my speaking fee.  The Grays made all of this possible two years in a row!!

 

Before my next presentation at Innisdale Secondary School in Barrie I spoke with Carolyn on the phone.  Her strength moved me.  I explained how I had ended my presentation, and she told me an ironic story…

 

Carolyn was in the process of writing David’s eulogy.  In it she tells a story of how on one of their first dates he had pulled his Jeep over only to leap out and run through traffic to help an old lady across the street.  The lady was visibly struggling and it was David who came to her rescue.  A cynic might suspect such heroism would just be showing off.  But David wasn’t showing off.  This was just David.  When Carolyn sarcastically asked him where he came from, he didn’t give her a cocky answer like some TV hero might.  Nope.  He just replied “Sarnia.”  Modest and funny.  This was David.  Now the ironic twist…  One of my suggestions to the students at Barrie North on doing one small deed was to… Yep you guessed it.  “Walk an old lady across the street.”  This is one of those connections that just seems to be more than a pure coincidence.  Maybe David was chilling in one of those chairs on stage if even for just a brief moment.  Maybe that is where the words I candidly spoke that day came from. 

 

I ended my presentation that afternoon in Innisdale much how I had ended my talk at Barrie North - recognizing the Grays and all that they do for their community.  I felt that my talk at Innisdale was very well received by the grade 12s in attendance.  It truly was a remarkable day for me to be able to turn the sadness of David’s passing into something positive and hopefully inspiring and motivating for those who heard me speak.  So far the messages I have read have been quite positive.  I will respond to those hopefully tomorrow before my flight.

 

Thursday night I stayed with friends in Oakville.  Stacey, Kurt and I talked about life that night.  They knew of the Grays from previous conversations we had about them.  Despite not knowing them personally,  my friends were moved and saddened by David’s passing.  Friday morning I drove to Smithville, Ontario and spoke at South Lincoln High School.  Once again I placed a fourth chair on stage with me for David and introduced and explained the cowbell that had made the journey with me from Vancouver.  It was for me a symbol of the preciousness of life – a theme that I have always spoke of but now want to emphasize even more.   

 

I felt that my talk at South Lincoln was very well received.  It ended with me being surrounded by students, some crying, giving handshakes and hugs.  I heard repeated thank you’s.  I was given a really cool gift bag with goodies from the school and a really cool OSAID t-shirt autographed by the OSAID team.  I spent lunch and a better part of the afternoon with South Lincoln OSAID students.  The conversation was a little on the lighter side… spandex, bees, indecent treatment of cats, dancing, prancing and yes some topics relevant to my visit to the school were discussed.  I told you that I would mention this in my blog…  You thought I wouldn’t right Prancer!?  HAHA.  Good times hangin with you all!  Watch out for the exploding perogies Jack!

 

Originally I was supposed to fly home Friday evening, but I wanted to pay my respects to David and the Grays by attending his service on Saturday.  I accidentally had woke up an hour earlier Friday morning by setting my alarm wrong, so in my spare hour I changed all of my travel plans so I could stay in Barrie for the weekend.  I saw this as a meant to be kind of thing.  I drove to Barrie from Smithville that afternoon.  As I drove I thought all about life and the past two days.  I thought about how people’s stories, our stories, my story can inspire others or change people’s lives.  I thought about the Gray’s story and wondered how I could truly honour them.  The idea for this blog entered my head and now days later I am still writing it…  Days later you may still be reading it for I have lost track of how long this blog is by now…  It feels like it might be more of a book than a blog.

 

I rested Friday night and woke up fairly early Saturday morning.  I went to work in the AM writing this blog.  I wrote as long as I could until it was time to shower and get ready for David’s service.  I punched the address into my GPS and let Claire lead the way.  I listened to a song called Carry On by MANOWAR on repeat (truly Kevy Metal style).  It might not have been David or Carolyn’s song of choice, but the lyrics to Carry On spoke to me.  The song is all about leaving a legacy behind after we are gone.  I was pretty into Carry On and not really paying so much attention when I noticed that GPS Claire was telling me that an empty field was my destination.  AWESOME!  I was lost.  I could’ve used some directions from David that day.  Fortunately as I was turning around a fire truck hastily drove past me.  I assumed the fire truck sans lights and sirens was likely going to David’s service.  Carolyn had told me that his was going to be a traditional firefighter’s service attended by many firefighters.

 

Sure enough the fire truck led me to where I wanted to go… Another twist of fate?  Upon pulling into the church, I saw more firefighters in one place than I had ever seen.  The parking lots was packed.  This was a service fit for a hero.  David Gray deserved no less.  I knew hardly a soul at the service besides Carolyn, Michael and Cameron.  I did meet a few students who had seen me speak at their school who were kind enough to chat with me, so I didn’t feel totally alone.  Carolyn welcomed me when she saw me as well.  Her eyes were swollen and red.  Soon mine would be too.  Despite the Tweet I posted I did not wear my aviators inside to hide my tears.  I sat in the back of the church among countless family, friends, colleagues and supporters and admirers.  I watched the most remarkable service I have ever seen.  One that brought me and surely everyone in that room to tears on at least a couple of occasions.  There we speeches by high ranking members of Ontario firefighters that were moving.  But it was Carolyn’s speech that hit me hardest.  I was proud of her because she delivered it like a champ.  There wasn’t a dry eye in the building when she was done.  David’s best buddy Chris followed Carolyn’s speech. Chris provided some comedy relief in the form of many great stories about David. 

 

Between the formal talks by highly ranked firefighters, to that of a grieving wife to that of a grieving best friend I got to learn and see even more of what an incredible one-of-a-kind person David Gray was.  I can say that I am truly honoured to have known him.

 

I attended a reception after David’s funeral, where again I knew next to nobody.  I met a few new friends in the mix but mostly spent my time with the Carolyn and her boys.  I watched as a group of bagpipers salute and toast David “a fallen brother” amidst playing classic songs…  Amazing Grace, among others.  I met some of David’s closest friends and relatives and each had one thing in common.  Everyone I met truly loved and admired David Gray.  Everyone I met only had the nicest things to say about Dave and genuinely meant their words.  Everyone came together and honoured a great man that day.  I felt fortunate to be a part of the group.  I will always have a soft spot in my heart for the Gray family and know that no matter where this life takes me I will never forget about them.

 

I flew home from Toronto yesterday.  I was a little worse for wear after the late night I had on Saturday compliments of a tour of Barrie with David’s close firefighter friend Bill.  Thanks buddy!!! I slept most of the plane ride home until I got another sinus headache…  Awesome! 

 

I was happy to land in Vancouver - Home sweet home.  I left the plane, grabbed my bags and sky-trained into Richmond on the new Canada line.  It’s pretty cool.  Fortunately my truck that had been technically illegally parked for four nights was not towed.  I drove to UBC and picked up Sam.  We had sushi at The Eatery in Kits then moved our party to a cool pub in Kits to watch the Canucks win a great game.  Sam drank caesars while I sipped on every manly drink I could order from a virgin caesar, to a root beer float, to Bombay Chai tea.  I listened to Carry On when I got back to the truck to prove that I still had some fly eyes…

 

Throughout yesterday and today and I am sure many days to follow I will be thinking about David, Carolyn, Michael and Cameron Gray.  I am so very lucky to know this remarkable family.  I am even luckier to have been able to meet David.  I only wish I could’ve known him for more time.  Maybe we could have gone fishing together.  Maybe he could’ve put a firecracker in my nose.  Inside joke.  I learned this weekend that firefighters pull some knarly pranks!  I will never forget the presence that David had.  I will never forget his warming smile or that twinkle in his eye that everyone who I have spoken with who knew Dave spoke so warmly of.  You can even see it in pictures of him.  I think of it as his spark for life.  I will think of David and the Gray family’s courage and strength to persevere throughout my own life when times get tough.  I will look to their selfless desire to give back to their community as an inspiration to give more myself.  I believe that this experience has changed me.  I want to be a better person.  I want to give more.  I plan to turn all of this into a stronger presentation in the schools where I speak – starting on St Patrick’s Day in Tucson, Arizona and to wherever my story that I share takes me. 

 

Carolyn said some words of David’s in her eulogy that struck me.  “You never know why a person is where they are in their life or how they got there.”  Truly some of people are given a rough go in life.  Still, they, we are all people. We share that bond no matter what, or where, or who or why or when….  Every one of us was born into this world an innocent child – a human being just wanting to be loved, encouraged and supported through the good and the bad.  Sometimes we meet people for a reason.  Maybe if we took the time to get to know more people and treat others better and love and care more then this world would be a better place.  Maybe we shouldn’t be so quick to judge others or turn our backs when someone is in need.  David did not judge people.  He worked in the toughest area of Toronto and likely saw things that most have never seen or would prefer to turn a blind eye to.  Whereas many might choose to judge rather than hold out a helpful hand, David’s role on this earth was to give his hand.  He didn’t expect anything in return for his helping hand either.  He just continued to reach out with it over and over again.  David just wanted to make the world a better place and he knew that through his position in the world that he was able to do this.  He chose his job so he could help others; he used money from his job to bring people with inspiring stories and or messages to his community to help inspire, encourage and motivate the youth; he started initiatives in his community to have things like playgrounds built for kids.  I bet that through all of the great things that David did, in his humble, modest way he never knew that his story was among the most inspiring of all. 

 

We only get one shot at life.  It goes by fast.  Shouldn’t we spend more time giving than taking?  Isn’t that what life is all about?

 

If you have taken the time to read this entire blog… Uncle Geo I know you think they are too long but GFYS (love you)  I ask you to ask yourself these four questions…

 

* Are you living your life to the fullest? 

* Do you cherish those people around you who love you most and recognize what a gift that love truly is?

* What are you doing to make this world a better place?  If you have trouble answering this question, what can you do?  Start small and build…   

* What is your legacy that you are going to leave behind when you are gone?

 

You don’t need to wear a cape to be a super hero.  You just need to care, to love and to give…

 

The world will miss you David Gray but your memory and your legacy will live on and continue to make the world a better place.

 

This blog is dedicated to the Gray family. 

 

Carry On… my sons forever
Carry On… when I am gone
Carry On… when the day is long
Forever Carry On
For as long as we’re together then
Forever Carry On

 

Carry On!

 

Thanks for reading

 

Kevin

Relationships are like Music…

Posted March 6, 2010

I’m feeling super happy right now.  As a nice cherry on top it is a beautiful sunny day today and I have all of it ahead of me.

 

I had written recently that I had been in a rut.  Well I feel like I’ve put it in 4WD and pulled out of that rut (pun intended).  The challenging times I faced have passed.  They always pass and looking back with a smile on my face almost makes it worthwhile having gone through so not-so-happy days.  That contrast between up and down really is a part of life.  It allows us to appreciate the great days even more and to get through the rough ones with the knowledge that the bad always passes.  That’s how I see it anyways!

 

Right now, I want to recognize the people who help me get through the tough days and those who smile beside me on the great days and everyone and everything in between…

 

My support network has grown so much over the years.  It was once just my family and friends (most of whom I have been friends with since high school).  Side Bar:  Anyone reading this who has heard the speel that you grow away from your high school friends I call BS!  Man, those people are the people you go through the knarliest stuff with.  You learn who you are and grow so much in those high school years.  How could these friendships not forge a bond that lasts a lifetime? My best buds still are surely my friends from high school and family is always family.

 

That said I have met some new friends.  New “meaning” relative to the length of my relationship with my old school buds.  I really enjoy making new friends.  And the common bond or glue that seems to attract a friendship for me tends to be music.  “You like METAL or PUNK” and I like you instantly.  The rest is yet to be determined, but this seems to be a key to my interest in a human being.  Is that wrong?  I don’t know?  Should I be looking for friends who share similar values to me etc?  Well I’m pretty sure that stuff all comes later.  Get past the music test and then let’s dig a little deeper.

 

Relationships are such a huge part of life and the human experience.  We are not meant to be solitary soldiers facing the battle alone.  We need people around us to share the good times and the bad.  I’m really happy that I have gotten to know Scott and Mike better over the past year.  Scott I met through punk rock shows, and really that mostly is the basis for our hanging out which means nearly once a month and it’s super rad!  I bet Scott even could be reading this.  Hey Scott GFYS!!!  When is the next show?  May it be soon!!

 

Then there’s Mike.  I met Mike in a meeting with my web sponsors maybe four months ago.  Instantly I noticed that both of us were noticeably underdressed for a business meeting on the 12th floor of Bentall Towers in downtown Vancouver.  Mike and I also rocked the faux-hawk and high top Supras.  I judged the dude right away.  Judged him to be awesome!  As I am a pretty big fan of myself… as We all should be.  Hey if we can’t stand ourselves who the shit else is gonna like us?  Only our moms!  Where was I?   As Mike and I got to know each other a bit better the aforementioned and oh so important Punk Rock / Metal connection was also intact.  So now I am calling Mikey a bro… Shit I am calling Mike… Mikey!  Douches don’t get nicknames… well except Douche.  I shall continue…   As Mike and I got to know each other even better it became apparent that our senses of humour possess a similar demented quality and there you have it people.  I have a new friend!  Mikey and I have been on a few adventures and I know there are more to follow.  What’s also pretty cool is we have a relationship beyond just being buddies…  No I am not coming out of the closet because I have no closet to come out of…  That did sound kind of gay though didn’t it?  Moving forward… Something really sick about Mikey and mine’s friendship is that he is not only my bud but also my official videographer.  Mikey has done two videos for me so far and a third is in the making.  These are vids that I shall unleash on the world VERY VERY SOON!!!  I would only want a like minded soul and someone who gets me to create any sort of reflection of who I am, and Mike is quite good at this.  Students at Point Gray Secondary school in Vancouver may have met Mike the other day when he filmed my presentation at your school. 

 

I just want to take a minute and recognize Mike.  Dude thanks for all the work you have put into my vids and thanks for putting up with my pain in the ass perfectionist ways.  I’m looking forward to all that comes in the future… now GFYS!!!

 

I was thinking about Mike and Scott the other day because for many years I haven’t really made any super rad new buddies.  I figured my friend bin was maxed out or something… there was no room for anymore.  But after some growth mentally and spiritually I ended up doing some housekeeping and cleaning out some of the negative friendships that I had carried on – some for far too long.  So to totally contradict myself here, my blog whatever, there is some truth to the high-school-friend-move on theory I will admit.  Some friendships are indeed made only because of two people being in the same place at the same time.  Maybe even sharing some similar interests or values, but of course over time some of our shallower tendencies hopefully are filled with substance and all of a sudden that bud from high school is now a total douche.  So we say beat it… or we just don’t answer their calls… whatever.  GFYS!  But for real!!

 

Another relationship that I have been thinking of is that of ex’s.  I try so hard not to be that guy who refers to my ex’s as “my ex.”  It just sounds so pathetic.  As soon as I hear anyone say it, I think let it go buddy.  Get over it!  HAHA.  Yet I have said the words myself so many times.  Now I catch myself and try to say my friend but even that can be a stretch… and I just found that one out straight up.

 

How do we not always retain some love for a person that we have been through a meaningful journey with?  I truly believe that there is always a place in our heart for those special people because something is shared in a relationship that doesn’t just disappear once that formal relationship ends.  The relationship takes on a new form…  mostly an awkward one in the beginning but hopefully if the person is a good person a healthy functional relationship develops as time passes.  I’ve thought for a long time that the ultimate form of moving on and letting go is when a person finds new love.  That new love takes the place of the old one and our hearts are refreshed and reborn and a new journey begins.

 

I have yet to find that new love to fill my heart since my last love.  I have met some nice girls for sure and have been pretty active on the dating front.  However, the future Mrs. Kev E Metal has yet to truly make herself known…  I say future Kev E Metal because I am hoping that the next time I fall in love it doesn’t end in heartbreak.  I don’t know if my ticker could take another heart break.  I do have one special someone whom I care for so much but the situation is just so complicated that I can only hold that little soft spot for her and live my life as if it may never happen…  I so hope it does though.

 

Anyways, in finding some newly enlightened peace I found myself wanting to right some of my wrongs from a previous breakup.  I acted a lot out of hurt and wanted to come clean and just let it be.  For two days I wrote and edited and reedited this email that I thought would mean the world to the person who would read it.  I contemplated not sending it even, but each song I heard seemed to tell me to send this email.  So I did.  I waited a couple of days for a response, even though I wasn’t sure I would get one.  When I finally did get a response it was the biggest let down piece of shit I have seen in a long time.  I will admit I was pissed!  It got me so fired up, but I understand now its purpose.

 

I had been hanging onto that love and secretly hoping either to find it’s replacement and move on or even somehow, one day that maybe if I never let go that the love could somehow rekindle… Why am I so starved for love Jeebuz?!  I thought if I kept this memento or that keepsake that one day I could show it to that person and they would melt and say that is so sweet thanks for never giving up.  Blah!!  What a bunch of bullshit.  I was living in a fantasy world people.  So yesterday I did something that I am so not good at doing.  I let go.  I just got rid of all of those mementos.  I dug up the garden we had planted together, I windexed the kiss mark of my sliding door window.  I deleted any Jack Johnson that existed in any form from my life, I trashed mementos that I had kept and holy crap did it ever feel good.  I feel like a new man.  A monkey is off my back.  Now I will admit that I won’t forget the great times or the love once shared.  But maybe just maybe it was time to move on without having found new love to replace the old.  Maybe now that I am moving on in my own way the next love that enters my heart will not have to fill a spot but rather will create a new one that never existed before…  Deep thoughts with Kevin Brooks.

 

I said before that I form my relationships a lot of the time over music.  Though I’ll be honest this doesn’t always apply to meeting the opposite sex.  Don’t get me wrong, I would love to meet a punker girl who could make my shorts shorter.  I just think these types may be few and far between.  One thing that my relationships with the opposite sex have in common with music and my bromances is that some relationships and or friendships, like great albums, you hang onto for life.  Most albums and friendships I have made are great so I hang on and cherish them.  Some are beat down and old and cracked and they even skip a little but hey we’re still chill!  Sometimes I dig an old one out and we relive past glories together about the good old days.  Some are just classics that I will hang onto forever and show to my kids and grandkids and have at my wedding.  On the flipside, eventually ( but possibly not unfortunately) sometimes in the long run you just have to let go and throw out that Fenix TX album because it truly is just a hunk of shit!  You may even have to give away your Blink 182 albums because that bubblegum lovey-dovey shit just doesn’t fly anymore.  We all figured out Vanilla Ice was a douche and so see ya later Ice Ice baby!  Relationships are like music to me.  They are the most important thing in my life and I couldn’t go on without em, but sometimes you have to delete a few songs or an album to make room for a new one. 

 

And in closing because Foly Huck this blog took way longer than I thought it would…  and where this music relationship stuff came from I don’t know…  But I am calling Gold Kevy Gold!!!  My iPOD has 15, 000 songs… many I have never even heard.  But I hope to one day.  My Facebook has 5000 people.  Most  I have never formally met but I hope I can one day.  I am always down to find a new friend or song or album so if I don’t know you but you know me and you are reading this right now and pass me in the streets just say hi.  Maybe you can be my newest NOFX album or maybe just my new favourite song: currently a cover of John Lennon’s  Insta Karma performed by The Adolsecents.  Hey who knows maybe you will be at my wedding or even better you will be my wedding song.  You never know!

 

I had to add this little last bit here post posting this post…  While I was writing this blog my BB rang… well actually ZEKE began screaming INTO THE NITE RIDE from it and I knew that my buddy Nick Boyd was calling.  I kept writing as I wanted to finish my masterpiece then called him after.  We talked about Steel Horses, Metal and other awesome shit!  I think Nick Boyd, Rick Neaks, NITE RIDER is one of the raddest dudes I have ever met.  As I hung up from our conversation I saw a text message from my buddy Scooter.  All it said “I started listening to Manowar as a joke but they are the best band ever.  I need to see them before I die.”  I feel the same way and so does NITE RIDER and this is why we are friends.  We understand Heavy Metal or No Metal at All.  We understand that Other Bands Play While MANOWAR KILLS and we definitely understand I’m An ANIMAL There’s An ANIMAL In Me WWOOOOWWWWHHHH Gonna Set It Free.  Got To Play It Louder.  Loud and To a 10.  If You’re Not Into Metal.  You Are Not My Friend…

I have some music to rock out to and some great friends to hang out with in the sunshine! 

 

Enjoy the Day HEY HEY HEY!!!

 

KB

Time Will Wait For No One

Posted March 3, 2010

I am still listening to a TON of Tom Gabel and Against Me!  It makes me smile and this is a happy blog…

 

So lots has been happening around Van and in the life of KB.  I have still been fighting off the MEH but I feel it is a winning battle.  Last night as I got home from the Against Me! show at the Rickshaw it all hit me.  I have been doing some pretty awesome, unforgettable and special stuff the past little while.  I am a lucky man!  Know what I am saying…?  Time to turn MEH into Hells YE AH!

 

The Olympics:

 

HOLY CRAPPOLY!  Was that awesome or what?  Those were once in a lifetime events…  And I know time is not waiting for me…  Seize the day baby!!!  Note to reader:  I can’t stop quoting Tom Gabel songs. I am so happy that I got to be a part of the excitement.  In total I went to 5 games.  I wrote about three in my previous blog.  The other two were both against team USA.  The first one was a heartbreaker that had my dad and me leaving GM Place and ultimately Vancouver very bummed out and disillusioned.  We hockey fans in Canada are pretty darn cocky.  I sure never saw that loss coming and thus it shook me to the core.  I still had love for Payson and Nogales but everywhere else in America sucked to me that day…  I LOVE YOU AGAIN!  I take hockey way too seriously…  Any American’s reading this… Imagine if we beat you at baseball or football… etc…  It sucked.  And I am not trying to dis the American hockey team because those boys worked their butts off and were a talented bunch.  We underestimated the USA and paid for it…  At least once.

 

I was so bummed after that game that I gave my eyeballs a break from the Olympics.  I came home and watched Jackass on TV instead of Olympic highlights and suddenly my cheeks were grinning.  Granted they were nearly filling with vomit occasionally too!  The paper cuts!!!  AHGGHH I can’t handle that part!!!  Jackass took away my pain.  So Americans hurt me and made me feel better all in one day!  Thanks?

The next day I spoke at one of my favourite schools, Terry Fox in Port Coquitlam.  Presentations there are always a treat.  The theatre is top notch and so are the students.  I had a teacher tell me that every time I speak at the school his classes are thin because word gets out I am there and students skip class to watch me.  How cool is that?!  Not that I condone skipping class…  But pretty cool they come watch me speak again!  I’d say after my last talk there just might be thin classes again next year when I return because it seemed to go over pretty well!  I was loving every minute of it and the audience was with me.  What a mature and open minded grade 10 group you were.  I give you mad props and waddup to the dudes I ran into during the Olympic madness this weekend!!

I went to Steel Panther at the Commodore Ballroom in Vancouver that night.  This was a strong contrast to my uplifting and positive messaging in the day.  Steel Panther are just so over the top ridiculous.  It makes me laugh.  I know that is their shtick, and I respect it.  At heart… I am an 80s skid in a denim and leather jacket listening to ToO Fast For Love in my Camero wearing skin tight jeans tucked into white high tops, my teased mullet blowing through the t-tops… so yeah I dig it!!   The show was even better than their first I saw in Vancouver before Christmas.  They encored with Shout at the Devil and Mr Brownstone – two 80s metal classics and the night was complete.  My friends, much like the majority of the humans at the show, were all completely wasted.  I was the DD.  It was a late one for sure but a goodie.  What I look back on with the fondest of memories from that night is how happy everyone was.  The Olympic vibe meshed with the metal vibe for a super skid-happy vibe that was so RAD!  I have never seen so many boozed up people on Granville Street in Vancouver all in such perfectly blissfully intoxicated harmony.  There were no attitudes, no fights, no BS.  People were just having fun and it was like one big party where everyone was invited and treated equally.

On Saturday I took Hayley and Regan downtown to check out the Olympic madness.  We met up with my gal pal Sammi there and some other buddies as well.  We cruised the streets in our red with pride and high fived and cheered and sang Oh Canada on occasion as we made our way to Live City Yaletown.  Hayley and Regan really wanted to see Sam Roberts and I was there chaperon for the night.  I think they liked that.  I managed to smuggle in a bunch of friends to the show without them having to wait in line so we had a huge posse.  It was really fun considering I am not even a Sam Roberts fan.  Oh yeah… if you are wondering how I smuggled people in, there was an awesome policy at the venues.  Just because I ride a wheelchair it meant that I did not have to wait in any of the multiple hour long line ups to get into venues.  I just rolled straight up to the front with my crew and in we went through security.  On this particular night I made three trips through security with a total of 11 friends!  Wheelchairs:  a blessing and a curse!  The best part of this night was the fireworks display after Sam Roberts.  It was unbelievable!!  Beyond the fireworks was a water show that had Olympic highlights hologrammed onto the water.  I have never seen a show like it…  Not even in Vegas!  It was so AWESOME!   We all had a great night and I felt like an awesome big brother for being able to show Hayley and her friend such a great time!

 

The following week my health took me out so I was pretty mellow.  I didn’t do a whole lot and think that for the most part the week just got away from me.  However, this weekend was a blast. 

 

I went to Vancouver Friday to work on my video that is ALMOST DONE!  I swear…  It really is.  I have a copy of it right now… Oh shit I was supposed to be editing that.  Umm well this blog is important too right?!

 

Friday, Video…  It didn’t take long until we skipped on the video over to Cactus Club (if you haven’t been you need to go here or to any of them… pretty sure it’s a BC joint!) on Dunsmuir and Burrard to eat and watch team USA play Finland.  The US smashed em and so we could only hope that our Canadian men would do the same to Slovakia later on.  It wasn’t long before me and my videographer Mike were heading to the Cactus Club on Robson for more eats and to watch the Canadian game.  And it was MADNESS!  People were going nuts.  It was so cool!  My buddies gave’er pretty hard as did most in the restaurant.  I drank non-beer, water, cranberry juice…  and ate a big ol’ steak dinner!  I also noticed a familair face… OMG the hottest hostess works there!!  Her name is Olyvia…  Where was I??  Oh yeah, the game.  It was great from the start but ended in a nail biting fashion… thankfully with the Canadians winning.  By now our table was messy so we headed on our way into the madness outside.  Vancouver was the craziest I had seen it thus far and before long the crowds became overwhelming… Just too many people so we headed back to Danimal’s and chilled for the remainder of the night.  I got home super late and was pretty tired Saturday, so I just took a chill day…  I think…  I don’t remember completely…  I think I chilled at home and watched TV all night.  I love those nights!!!

 

SUNDAY… SUNDAY… SUNDAY!!!!  GOLD METAL GAME DAY!  I woke up at 6:30 am and died my Mohawk RED!!!  YEAH YEAH CANADA.  Then I made my way to the hospital for IV treatment as I had been doing for the past week…  like I said my health was not good.  I am on the up and up now though!!  I felt like a junkie as I lined up with all of the other IV patients waiting to get our daily dose.  Thankfully I had made friends with the nurses and was in and out and on my way to the BIGGEST hockey game of my LIFE in no time!  I picked up my dad, sister and her bf Jeff and off we went.

 

On Sunday, I posted things like “this could be the best day of my life” because quite frankly it was true.  I recognized how lucky I was to be going to this game… Once again the blessing of a wheelchair… there were seats available!  We were all in red… me with my Mohawk to boot.  Jeff brought a huge Canada flag that we stuck out of the back of my truck.  Canadian and proud - that we were!  Upon reaching the city, you could just feel the energy.  It was like nothing I had felt before even in previous recent Olympic memories.  People were going NUTS!  There were line-ups everywhere to watch the BIG GAME!  It felt pretty special to be going.  Special meaning: don’t tell anyone because we may get beat down and jacked for our tickets… nah … umm maybe… We parted ways with Allison and off the boys went to watch history be made.

 

The building was electric.  It was the loudest of any of the other games.  There was more red than any of the other games!  It was SICK!!  And it started off great.  Before long, Canada was up two goals and I know me and the people around me were feeling pretty good about our chances at gold.  Then the USA scored one and it put a little dent in the confidence.  Then the US took over the momentum and I felt my stomach tighten.  Team Canada were just hanging on.  They needed another goal but the US team was not letting many shots get through, and the ones that were getting through Miller was stopping.  That guy played INSANE!  The third period was what I imagine the waiting room at a prostate exam clinic must feel like.  A lot of nervous dudes with tight bum holes…  It was nerve racking.  Then the USA pulled their goalie with like 2minutes left and all I could think is get one Canada… end this here.  24 seconds remaining and boom the US score.  And like a zeppelin that building deflated, crashed and burned!!!  The silence was deafening, but the game wasn’t over.  In my heart I was scared that it was.  To add insult to injury my buddy and manager Jason from the Washington had predicted US 3 Canada 2 as the final.  Could he be right?  I quietly loathed Jason through the third and unwanted intermission.  I don’t remember much of the conversation among our party but I can tell you F-bombs were plentiful!  In my head I wondered what would be if we lost.  I just felt like the US had it.  I don’t know why.  I had so much riding on this game too… and not just the $800 ticket.  The whole night ahead was based on us celebrating Gold, Victory, Triumph…  Could it be that this wouldn’t be the fairy tale ending everyone wanted… well everyone in red anyways?  The clock ticked down and OT began.   

 

From the puck drop, Canada pretty well owned the OT with possession and shots and pure dominance.  However whenever the US got the puck they looked dangerous.  It was like watching a tight rope walker only I was hoping that Canada wouldn’t fall!  Picture Steve-O, Jackass, Alligator Tight-Rope… I wanted him to fall for sure!!  All I could do during the OT was rest my elbow on the bar in front of me and hold my chin in my hands and do everything but pray… because I don’t really pray… nothing against it I just never have and don’t really know how to.  I also feel like it would be wrong of me to just all of a sudden be asking God for a hockey win above all else I could’ve prayed for in my lifetime. 

Canada was looking strong but they hadn’t really had too many big chances.  The play was in the US end and Crosby was really digging for it.  He had struggled offensively for most of the game.  The puck ends up on Iginla’s stick, back to Crosby, he shoots… GOAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  My dad jumps higher than he has ever jumped.  His face turns red as the Mohawk on my head.  He hugs me and screams… tears are rolling down our faces.  Jeff is screaming and running around with his Canada flag.  I am screaming and smiling and crying and this is the most amazing moment!!!!!  Everywhere I look I see happiness, joy, pride… CANADA - we did it!!!  I will never ever forget this.  BEST GAME EVER!!!  Tears in my eyes as I watch this again…  I took so many pictures…  They are all coming soon!

The rest of the night was pretty sweet but nothing could match the magic of that game.  We cruised the streets but cruising was slower than geriatric pace because streets were packed from building to building on either sides.  People were screaming, high fiving, singing, honking, taking over more streets, waving flags… CANADA, CANADA, CANADA!!!  Man it was pretty cool.  If Canada ever was doubted for our patriotism we sure found it during these games… at least those I was among and am writing about did.  I will never ever forget these moments!!!

Our crew grew and I met some new humans and some old humans.  We met up with my cousins’ Alina and Sharpee who I know read my blogs.  Waddup guys?  Sharpee I hope this one is more to your liking buddy… No sadness in this one man!!!  HAHA.  You guys are awesome and I will see you again soon.  At midnight I was brought a b’day cake and the gals all sung me happy birthday.  What a day.  What a year!  What a life!!!  It was the hypest and the mellowest b’day I have had on record considering all that I experienced in the day ending with me eating cake with a green tea in a rowdy bar in Gas Town at midnight.  I met up with Sammi once everyone had went home and their separate ways.  We headed to my place where I got minimal sleep once again… maybe 3hrs!

 

I was a full on Creature at mom’s b’day dinner for me Monday.  I was beyond tired… zombie like really… and my head was a mixture of red, pink, blonde and orange.  I had caught a nasty ass cold overnight and was dripping snot and coughing up lungs…  a real treat indeed.  It was awesome to see my family and all but I think my best gift was hitting my bed and sleeping like a champ after the party was over.

 

My final b’day gift was last night.  I went and saw Against Me!  They were just AWESOME!  They were the best I had ever seen them.  As I watched them play I sang along.  I reflected on the past year, the past months, the past days and weeks.  I reflected on family, friendships, love, happiness, heartbreak, recovery, my passions in life, the people I speak to and impact…  how lucky I am to have all that I have.  I took everything into account… the ups and the downs.  I once again saw myself at a new start with unlimited opportunities ahead.  I let the music grab my heart and soul and erase any MEHness I had been feeling.  A smile curved across my face and I just felt so alive!!!  I pounded the stage.  It was SICK!!!  They played all of my favourites and ended with a nice long encore…  The fnale…  Walking is Still Honest.  My fav’ AM! song… Ironically considering the obvious!  What a night!!!

 

Today was a great day and I am still in an awesome mood.  I am feeling a lot of love for life right now.  I am looking forward to speaking tomorrow and getting my new videos out to the public soon.  This month I will be touring quite a lot and I am so very excited.  Lots of great stuff is coming soon…

 

Oh I just remembered I got one more present today… a very special someone called me and wished me a happy birthday.  I am super glad that I got the call.  I can’t wait to see each other – hopefully soon.  These happy times I write of in this blog mirror all of the times I have ever shared with you!  Looking forward to some big smiles when we meet again.  Très excite mon bel ami!!

 

Well that about wraps it up! AHHHHH… EPIC… I have been writing blogs for over three hours.  I hope that it was worth it and anyone reading this has enjoyed…  Thanks for checking in.

 

KB

I May Have Lost It… You Be the Judge

Posted

Written February 19th, 2010.

I was just brushing my teeth just moments ago after a mellow Friday night while listening to one of my favourite songs when it hit me…  I should write something in my blog…  It’s been a while.  I first thought I’d write a list of the songs I am digging right now, so those who read this at least know I am alive.  Then I thought nah that is kinda weak  My next thought was I should write I need to write a blog soon.  But figured that would be even more weak!  So here I am writing a blog that at this point I have no idea where it is going to go…  Life has been inconsistent lately for me on all levels, so this blog may be an accurate reflection of my mindframe…  You have been warned… haha

 

So it’s the middle of February already…  Holy crap where does the time go?  The weather in Vancouver is SICK right now - Sunny, warm days that feel like late March or early April even.  It has been amazing outside and the vitamin D has definitely picked up my spirits - spirits that had been a little beaten as of late.  And since I have been feeling on the MEH side I haven’t much felt inspired to write anything in here, hence only two blogs in the entire New Year. 

 

My focus has had me busy just trying to just sort outthis journey called life.  I haven’t come to any epic conclusions yet.  More than anything, I’ve felt in many ways like I have been in a bit of a rut.  My only constant is that I have been aware that I am alive and on a journey that has its ups and has its downs.  I’ve looked UP and wanted to scream JEEBUZ get me out of this RUT!!!

 

I’ve been feeling a bit down lately for a number of reasons.  My speaking schedule has been super slow.  In fact this has been the slowest year I have had in a long time.  There are a number of reasons…  changes with ICBC, a slow economy, and the USA thing not working out as predicted.  I haven’t given up on my dream which is speaking to as many people as I can.  For sure I believe that this is just a flat tire on a road that has for the most part been smooth as a school hallway.  However, my enthusiasm levels are low.  When I am not actively engaged in my ultimate love it seems that my life can feel as though it is lacking purpose.

 

So contrary to the rain soaked landscape in which I’ve been dwelling, my true passion has slowly dried up along with my bank account.  Waking up in the morning to these realities have made for some bummer starts that haven’t always improved as the day has progressed.  I’ve even found myself feeling a little lonely.  As cheesy as it sounds…  I really am this big hopeless romantic who just wants that special amazing someone to love and spoil and share this journey with… (Note to reader:  You may have noticed the tone of this blog is a little off from what you may have read in the past.  This is why I haven’t written haha.  Thanks for reading my note reader!!  Please don’t judge me yet… It gets better…)

 

See what I was saying…  This is some pretty uninspiring reading isn’t it?  Well I guess my excuse is that I am only human.  I don’t have any reason to lie and say that LIFE IS SO AWESOME right now!  However I get through the days that have been tough with the knowledge that at some point I will be writing those CAPPED words (LIFE IS SO AWESOME) on these very pages again!

 

SO…. my favourite songs right now are:

Pale Blue Eyes by The Velvet Underground
Animals by Manowar
100 Years War by Tom Gabel

I have been playing any one of these great tunes over and over on whichever given date the relevant song applies…

 

Ok so enough of the sad shit.

 

Life has also been good to for sure.  I am so digging the Olympics.  Vancouver is just ALIVE.  It is as ALIVE as I have ever seen it.  And I just can’t get enough of the energy.  So far I have been to three Olympic hockey games:  Women’s Canada vs. Czech (18 – 0) total nail biter; Men’s Canada vs. Norway (8 – 0) Sick game: and Canada vs. Switzerland (3 – 2 SO) frickin insane game!!!  It has been epic to say the least!  I’ve mostly gone to the games with family… game 2 with my mom and Hayley and game 3 with my Grandma. 

 

The game with Grandma was last night and I have to say it was one of the BEST nights and days I have had in so long!  My Grandma is 86 and a total trooper.  She is the raddest lady!  We had so much fun yesterday.  I picked her up and drove downtown and did some sightseeing first.  Then we milked the wheelchair for some VIP line skipping into Live Nation Downtown.  From there we hit the game which was just AWESOME, and then we headed back to Granville and Robson the heart of the chaos and followed the madness to the Cactus Club for eats.  We covered so much ground.  I am surprised Grandma‘s legs made it all those kms and just as shocked that my arms held out for the day.  Seriously it was the best day!  If you have a grandma take her out and spoil her because without her you would not exist.  That lady has seen so many things in her life and lived through times we cannot even comprehend.  When we were little it was our Grandma who spoiled us.  I believe wholeheartedly that as we get older it is our job to return the favour.  I guarantee nobody will appreciate your time, your gifts, your love or your company more than your Grandma!!  So stop reading this blog and go take her out…  Ok read the rest but then at least pick up the phone and call her!!

 

The second game I went with my mom and Hayley.  It was awesome to spend the day with my mom and sister for sure.  We took lots of pictures and covered a lot of ground and watched Canada’s mens team start off shaky and really end looking like a killer team.  Sorry if this blog is out of order.  This game was before the one with my Grandma…  But anyways…  Yeah both games were sick!  However, I was kind of cranky on the day Hayley, Mom and me went.  I had let the lame accessibility around the Olympics get to me and was being kind of pissy.  My ‘tude started early and carried on until we were waiting to get into the game with a line of other people.  One of these people was about the most annoying lady I have ever met…  We’ll call her Mrs. Negative.

 

Mrs. Negative had nothing nice to say.  Mrs. Negative did nothing but complain.  Mrs. Negative had a daughter in a wheelchair and she thought that this gave her: 1) A Sense of Entitlement that would put Paris Hilton to shame 2) The right to whine, bitch and moan about any and everything that she had an opinion on 3) treat those around her like crap… which seemed to be any and everyone that didn’t bow to her and her daughter.  This lady was driving me nuts.  Best of all, as we entered the rink we realized that she was sitting beside us – AWESOME!  This lady’s attitude was so unappealing.  It immediately made me dislike her.  But at the same time as I loathed Mrs. Negative I realized that not so long ago I had been a little Jr Mr. Negative!  WTF!!

 

So I RE-learned a valuable lesson that day…  I capped RE because it is a lesson I normally live by and speak about to others.  A lesson that I had somehow lost touch with for a moment or two.  The energy we put out is what we get in return…  Good or BAD.   A good attitude goes a long way, but so does a bad one.  I had stopped looking at things from a half full perspective.  I was letting the little things get to me.  I was taking my frustrations out on others around me.  I was bringing people I love down with my lame-ass energy.  I was acting like the beast lady who I had yet to meet…  UGHH It makes me shudder to imagine…

 

SO…  I sucked it up some for the remainder of the day with mom and Hayley.  I can’t say I was insta-cured but I was at least well on my way.  I woke up the next day feeling disappointed with how I had acted.  But what’s done is done.  All I could really do is learn and move forward so the plan was - Pull a 180 for the game with my Grandma.  Guess what… My better attitude brought on better times.   

 

Just writing this brings the lyrics from FAVOURITE SONG #3 to mind…  These are once in a lifetime events and time will wait for no one.”   The song is a war rally song as best I can decipher it, but I just feel those words on a different level.  We need to make the most of today because today only lasts 24hrs then it is gone forever.  The day is what you make of it.  People will treat you the way you treat them in most cases.  What you give is what you get.  A positive attitude can decide the day…  So can a negative one.  I asked myself which one will give me more smiles?  How do I want to look back and remember the day… as a shitty one or do I want to make the most of what I am dealt?  I think I’d rather look back on life as good times as opposed to a life shadowed by a big ass dark cloud.

 

A REVELATION!!! 

 

And now the sugar on top…

 

Besides my revelation…  I am REALLY enjoying being on the wagon (that sounds lame) how about the Sober Skateboard… Enjoying, especially after a little speed bump.  This sobering turn of events has lifted my spirits in a huge way.  I definitely love not booze baggin.  It makes me feel so complete and in tact.  It makes my life 110% in my control.  It gives me something to be proud of and makes me feel proud of myself.  It makes me feel like nothing can ever take me down and thus smiles have been plastered across my face as of late.  Hey this blog sure took a 180 hey!!   

 

If anyone is wondering how I do the no boozy thing… Here is my easy solution…  Near beer or whatever you want to call it…  It doesn’t have alcohol but tastes the same.  My favourites are Becks, O’Doul’s and Warsteiner.  To me it’s like I am still in the party just not getting intoxicated.  I gotta say that it kicks ass being sober and partying.  It’s like eating cake and not getting fat…  hmm is it like that really?  It’s like I can have my cake and eat it too…  That may be a better cake reference!  So much of boozing is that social aspect of having a drink and hoisting it to our mouths.  Well, I’ve been hoisting a lot of non alcoholic beers these days and loving it even more than when those beers were full of alcohol…  There is a beauty to sobriety, especially after so many years of partying.  The best thing about it I’d say is that when you wake up the next day you know that you had control over everything you said and everything you did.  I can’t say that I had that very often over the last hmmm lots of years.  You may be reading this thinking WTF?  yeah I still partied pretty hard.  I didn’t drive after but I was still pretty give’er a lot of the time and it was starting to wear on me.  OH… another beauty of not drinking is I’ve been losing weight in the process because the calorie count in near beer is super low!  Less than pop… by half in some.  It’s like eating cake and not getting fat!

 

That’s all I have.  Do you think Comic Book guy from The Simpson’s would say “worst blog ever!”?..  I hope not. 

 

I remember writing this and it got really late and I just wanted to go to bed.  So I ended it abruptly as you may have noticed and told myself I would edit it in the morning.  Well here we are a week or so later and well…  I just did a little editing and am going to post this as is.  It isn’t the best blog ever but what is awesome about that is that the next one I write can only be better.  The plan is to write that one now…

 

Thx for reading!

 

Kevin