I have been responding to emails for hours.  It’s tiring.  I’ll admit it.  But I have to keep up, lest I fall behind and miss writing someone back.  I have gotten a lot of really deep emails in the last month…  Well I get them all the time, but this past month or so since I started touring I’ve seen a major influx in my inbox.

The majority of the messages I get from young people these days deal with depression, suicide, self-harm.  Young people who are lacking purpose, or hope or motivation.  I relate to these young people who write me and just hope they get the support and help and find the strength to get past the tough times to find better days.  As I read, I often I recall some of my darker days when I was a teen or freshly injured after the crash and more than a couple times in years that followed thinking “F#ck it all. F*ck the world.  I wish I wasn’t here!”  There were times… I couldn’t imagine life getting any better…  I felt lost and without hope or motivation. 

But I never quit. 

And I am here writing these words right now only for this reason.  I NEVER GAVE UP!! 

Now, I’m not really religious so for me to write Thank God doesn’t really express my gratitude…  So instead Thank METAL I always dug myself out of these spots.  Thank My Family I never followed through with any of those thoughts of giving up.  Thank LIFE that I stuck it out and got through the times of confusion. 

I write this now and I am feeling so grateful for every second of life I have lived and will continue to live…  Yes, even the tougher ones…  It may sound crazy I know.  But you know what?  Overcoming those tough times taught me some tough and valuable lessons that have enabled me to hold my head higher, fight harder, smile bigger and live happier today than I ever have before.  The crappiest of times I endured indeed led me to a better place.  And they can for anyone who chooses to not give up; to think positively; and to find your way to a better day.

Here are two inspiring stories that were sent to me in the past month.  These are from teenage students who have found their way to overcome immense struggle.  I hope these stories inspire you who read them as much as they inspire me.  I hope they go to show that none of us are alone.  There is someone out there who cares.  Maybe not even a person…  But they care!  Hell, I care about everyone who writes me and everyone I speak to regardless if I’ll ever meet you face to face, or shake your hand, or hear your voice…. I believe we are all connected through the journeys through life we are each leading.  We can be bonded by our stories, whether they are happy or sad ones.  And by sharing our stories, we learn and we teach and we connect…

These stories connected with me.  BIG TIME.  And apparently my story connected with each author.  If you connect to these stories, please post a message.  Show your support.  Share your story.  We are all bonded by OUR STORIES.

Enjoy!

Mr Brooks,

Today you were at my school and you couldn’t have possibly noticed me out of all of those people in the massive gym, but we all noticed you and we all felt some kind of hurt by your story.

Your story moved not only me but all of the people in the room. Towards the end you spoke of a girl that was messaging you about her depression and cutting, you also talked about how no one is ever alone. You made me realize that there is at least one person in this world that might care and I have her. She realized I was cutting and she kissed my arms and told me she loves me and that everything would be okay. I never thought I would hear her tell me she cares as much as she does. We have been together for six months and she means everything to me. I have loved her for almost four years now and I never told her. Your presentation gave me the courage to admit everything to her about my depression, cutting, eating problems, and problems at home. We cried together, held each other and really opened up.

I want to thank you again for coming to my school and telling us your story. It means so much to me because it proved to me that no matter how much someone can go through they can still go on with life and wake up every morning, pull yourself out of bed and take your next breath. I must admit that I started to cry when you talked about your friend not making it out of the crash and when the slide show was playing showing everything that so many people take for granted, I guess when they say you don’t really know what you have until its gone no one really understands it until they actually do lose everything.

You are a very strong man for being able to pull through. I was upset this evening, I turned my iPod on high and was on the edge of cutting, but all I did was wiggle my toes and I thought that what if I cut too deep and died? I would hurt so many people that I love and I don’t want to do that, I have so much that I never thought that I would actually have to think about it and actually gain the courage to throw my blades away. I know we have never met in person you just talked and made me see my life in a whole new way. I love you for that. Thank you again

Dear Kevin,

Hi. I’m ______. I was at your presentation a few days ago…anyway. If you were to ask anyone about me, they would probably say I was crazy. Funny maybe. Sociable. All that shit. But inside I couldn’t stand it. Anything. I had already had a history with drugs because my family was in to that…yadda yadda. So I had easy access. And I wasn’t feeling good. I felt like no one knew me. So I started using pills. Not shit like Aspirin or Tylenol. Serious stuff like Concerta, which in case you didn’t know is called “speed” on the streets. I had a prescription for it, but I never used it. So it just collected up, then I started to use them. I would take like 8 days worth at one time. I’d feel as if the drugs were the only ones that could understand me. I live with my grandmother, and she doesn’t get me at alllll. I know she wants to help, but I don’t feel it. So that’s why I started pillin’. Finally, I realized how much of a bum I was. I was a druggie.

I hated myself, so then I started drinking, then eventually got back into drugs, more stuff though this time, like heroin, meth, cough syrup, bad stuff. Then, I thought, what was the point? I’m just taking up space. I felt as if it was me against the world. I knew enough about drugs that I knew what which ones could do what, the whole 9 yards. So I made a plan. I was going to take a mixture that would surely end my life. I had gotten it all ready the morning of your presentation. It was in my sock drawer. But then we had your presentation. It didn’t hit me until I got home. I got home, looked at the pills, then at my feet. I wiggled my toes. Then my fingers. Then I went outside, to where my dog was. “Can you wiggle your toes Buddy?”. He looked at me, then he licked my toes (I was wearing sandals). I went inside and got the pills, crushed them up, and went outside. I went inside the shed, got a shovel, and started digging behind my house. I dropped the napkin that the pills were wrapped in, and then I wiggled my toes again. Then I covered up the hole, put the shovel back. Then I went inside and got some dog treats for Buddy. I went outside to Buddy, I bent over and gave them to him. He didn’t eat them. He licked my toes again. Thank you

NEVER GIVE UP!!

Well my trip to Vermont was SO worth while…  The students seemed to really be moved by my presentations and many expressed this in person and by email.  I responded to emails for hours on end last night until my eyes were dried up and my brain was depleted.  In all of my travels to Vermont (four trips in just one year) it seems to be a State where my story really resignates with the students.  I LOVE going to Vermont and can’t wait to go back again.

The trip home was more of the same United incompetence I encountered on my trip to Vermont, but I bit my lip and secretly vowed to never fly United again.  What cheered me up and made it again worth while was reading countless emails from the students I spoke to earlier in the day.  Not to mention the fresh and fond memories I had from Colchester high warming my heart as I sat on that cold plane due west.

I read and I wrote.  I read and I wrote.  I read and I wrote….

Since I hit the road almost 3 weeks ago I have seen emails from each school I have been to.  I’d estimate that I have gotten over 500 emails in this time and have responded to almost everyone.  I still have some new ones from today to respond to.

This goes for anyone, anywhere reading this…

I encourage any of you who have written me to talk to the counselors and administration at your school about the issues you face in your personal lives and anything that may happen within the confounds of your school.  Every school I have been to whether it be in Canada or the USA has protocols and policies in place to deal with the issues that you bring to my attention and the challenges you face no matter what they are.  And if for some reason your school doesn’t have a protocol in place to deal with a certain issue, then I am sure if you talk to a counselor or administrator they will look into the issue and find a way to support you or whoever it is that needs the support.  Schools try their very best to be a healthy, positive and safe environment for students, and I fully support each school that has ever invited me in their doors to speak to their students and the intitaitives they put forward.

I need to remind everyone that I am in no way a professional counselor.  My advice comes from  the heart, and often times my own experiences which leaves much room for error or misconceptions.  All I can say here is I do my best to support everyone that writes me.  But I have to say it can be a daunting task at the best of times and can be very overwhelming for me.  On any given day I can pick up my Blackberry and I have 100 unread messages!!  But I just responded to 60 yesterday…  This is not uncommon.

I hear from people who are suicidal and depressed;  who are bullied and self-harming; who have lost friends and family and are grieving; who are abusing substances like drugs and alcohol; who have been abused, abandoned, are homeless and often times hopeless…  The list goes on and on and on.  Now of course there is the flip side to this.  I hear from people who are empowered and who write me positive messages about positive changes they have made or intend to make in their lives as well…  The latter are the easy ones to respond to.

I guess the point of this blog is to just come clean and tell you all I am only human - just like you.  Although my voice may reach the far corners of the gymnasium or auditorium this is likely because it is amplified by a mic.  I don’t wear a cape.  Only a wheelchair and I just do my best to help as many people as I possibly can.  But I can only do so much.

There are resources at everyone’s disposal whether they be in your school; your community; online or by picking up a phone and finding support.  Maybe it is family and or friends.  There are people in your life who can and will support you.  I am very grateful you come to me, but please also go to someone else because I truthfully (and I really wish that I could be) can’t be everywhere for everyone all at once.

I am not trying to bail on anyone here.  I encourage you to write me if it feels like the right thing to do.  I will continue to spend as many hours as it takes to write you back and offer whatever I can as advice or support.  But please don’t take my words or responses as gospel.  If you don’t agree with something I suggest, disregard it.  If you are unsure or uncomfortable about anything I might encourage feel free to write me back and voice your opinion or ask me what exactly I meant.

I am trying to do something positive here for a lot of people.  All I can do is try my best and hope that somehow I encourage people to make right choices and to also get the proper support that they need withing their own community.  It can’t just be me.  There needs to be someone else.  Maybe multiple someone elses. 

No matter what I say or write, at the end of the day it is the choices you make that will truly make the difference.  Only we can truly help ourselves…  And sometimes helping ourselves means getting support from others.  Nobody has to take the world on alone.

I was sent a really cool quote last week that I want to post here.  I changed it just a little to make it apply more to my own presentation…

“Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall”

It is ok to fall, just get back up.  And sometimes I even need a hand getting back up off the floor.  It’s ok to ask for help.  It’s ok to ask me for help.  But help me help you by also getting yourself some help and support in your own school and / or community.

I wish everyone a very happy Holiday Season.  This past month has been amazing!  I am so grateful for the people I meet on the road and hope to keep going strong all over N America in the new year!!

Before I go I have to thank again everyone from every school in this past month an beyond.  From BC to Winnipeg and the amazing MPI Friends For Life Tour to Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan to Colchester, Vermont…  You all have made for an amazing month that has truly inspired me and put a great big, giant, proud smile on this face of mine!!

Thanks,

Kevin

… So I am writing this blog thousands of feet in the air on a tiny little plane somewhere between Chicago, Illinois and Burlington, Vermont.  How’s that for dedication!!??

Today has been a long one.  I woke up at 4:45am and was out the door by 5:30am headed south for Seattle.  It was a relaxing drive, if you consider blasting Guns N Roses then Streetlight Manifesto’s entire song catalogue on random relaxing.  BTW Streetlight Manifesto are on tour and I’ll be seeing them in Vancouver in a  couple weeks not-to-mention Axl / G’N'R two days later.

Can I gripe for just a second??  Of course I can.  I’m composing this blog and I answer to no one!!

Now, I don’t like to bitch, but I have to say that United Airlines is a pain in the ass…  I get to the airport this morning to learn that somewhere in the chain of communication there was a broken link.  When I book flights, or my bro Jason books them for me to be more exact, he, I request accommodations for my wheelchair.  Well for some reason United Airlines seem to be united in their incompetence for relaying web information to their ticket kiosks.  It never seems to fail.  I roll up to the counter, usually at some ungodly time in the morning, and am met with a dumbfounded stare.  Never seen a wheelchair before?  I thought everyone watched Glee!! (I actually don’t, but they have a dude in a chair in the commercials).

So I explain that the back row of the plane / middle seat is a pretty awkward location for me.  Now, any other airline… Southwest, WestJet for example, have designated seats for such situations.  Oh Yeah… They boot your able-bodied asses out in a jiffy and hand your plush scenic real-estate to me.  Maybe you’re like Hey GFYS!  That’s why my window got jacked that time!!  Yes it is… And Thank You!

But think about it…  I get a couple morons usually who have no idea how to push the isle chair. (FYI The isle chair is half the size of a standard wheelchair and allows access for me to my seat. It has tiny wheels so the cripple or crapple sitting in it are unable maneuver themselves).  Thank God I can’t feel pain in my knees or I’d be screaming in agony the entire thud-thumpin’ (isn’t that a Chumba-wamba song?) trip to my seat!  Then I always get the side of the plane (state the obvious here - but there are two sides of a plane unless you’re on one of those big overseas planes, so domestic plane 50 / 50 chance) that doesn’t have retractable arm rests.  Yay! I love to be violated by arm rests in the morning.  It nicely compliments the awkward feel up I’m just beginning to try and emotionally deal with that I got in customs twenty minutes ago. Then they put me in the damn middle seat.  Might I add here that I go on the plane before anyone else…  So I sit like a jackass and wait for that poor soul who usually has a bladder the size of thimble to arrive (always his… never an attractive lady’s seat). My new neighbourino usually stares at me impatiently obviously and obliviously expecting me to stand up and make way… So this is usually cue to tell my damn life story, which I quite enjoy sharing with youth or intrigued audiences, but to not some random on a plane who now feels it is their duty to explain to me how sorry they feel for me. Do I really look like I want people to feel sorry for me??

FML!!

This is the average United experience.

… Now take the last three paragraphs and basically reverse them.  Yep, now I am off the plane.  But usually this is only half the battle.  Chances are I am in Chicago for a lay-over / plane change.  I realized tonight that I have made more visits for dinner to the Chicago airport in the last year than my mom and dad’s places combined.  And even Jimmy’s cooking shitbeats airport supper.  Actually Jimmy cooks pretty damn good and Ingrid is a wicked cook!

Still… After all that BS once I got my seat, a gracefully donated window seat compliments of a kind fella from Chicago, I was content… Happy even.  Between Seattle and Chicago, I viciously typed away on my Blackberry at my eighty - yep 80 - outstanding emails.  And one by one, as I read and responded, I was reminded why I go through this bullshit on a regular basis (not to say I haven’t been considering adding first class seating to my booking requirements from now on.  J’ take note). 

I read 58 emails and responded to each.  I never once tired of reading these inspiring messages young people recently sent me.  It really made the entire clusterfudge by Untited all worth while.  And so does a day like yesterday when I was invited back to Terry Fox Secondary in Port Coquitlam, BC to do what must be somewhere in the double-digits now of presentations.

Yesterday was another awesome experience at Fox.  So many have happened there too.  The audiences are always stellar.  I’m such a regular now that I am recognized by staff and students as soon as I pull into the parking lot.  Once out of my truck, I am welcomed with open arms, high fives, head nods and waves.  It’s like being the cool guy rolling into a party!  A role I’d like to think I may have played once or twice in my day!   Seriously, how many wheelchair puns are there in those last two sentences??

There is some great history between TF and KB…  We shot part of the Wiggle Your Toes documentary there.  The mom / paramedic story in my talk originated at Fox (for anyone wondering… A student years ago came home from my presentation to share with his mom what he’d just heard and turns out ‘mom’ saved my life the night of the crash).  And yesterday, to add to the list of great moments, a family who has a similar story to mine who I met through our stories, were in attendance.  It was very touching to me to have them there. The audience at Fox was once again stellar yesterday, so thanks to everyone from Fox!!  Oh and big props to my AV crew in the theatre.  I forgot to mention on top of all else that makes Fox an awesome place to speak, the facility there and great people working in it kick ass!!

Ummm….  We’re hitting some turbulence here, so I think it’s time to wrap up.  Being ping-ponged around in a plane and typing into a minuscule Blackberry screen kind of makes me feel nauseous…  I doubt that greasy burger I ate at the airport is helping much either.

I’d just like to end this saying despite the BS I sometimes deal with in traveling, it is all very worth it.  I’m stoked to be headed to Vermont and wouldn’t have it any other way…  Well unless Southwest flew here…

OK, I have to add this…  I am in my room now, but all that you just read wasn’t the end of the travel woes…

So plane arrives in Vermont and I finally am on the other side of the continent.  I go to the car rental desk, and the guy is super helpful.  He pulls the car around for me to make it easier.  They even have a hand control installed.  They never forgot!  How charming!!  So I get in the car and try to drive.  Well the hand control is installed so low that I can’t accelerate.  Gas is push down and my leg is fully in the way.  I have the seat back all the way, still, leg is in the way.  Coasting around in drive is not really an option.  20miles an hour ain’t gonna cut it on the freeway!  This day just keeps getting better.  Being in a wheelchair you get pretty good at problem solving…  FIND A WAY… Remember from my talk…  So, I figure out that if I cross my right leg in sort of meditating Budhist fashion and slide all the way against the driver door, so my bruised knee from isle chair in the plane doesn’t hit the shifter, I can drive.  It is totally uncomfortable and very awkward.  But YAY I can f’n drive!!

All worth while though…  All worth while…  Colchester, I’m counting on you to be a kickass audience tomorrow (today if you watched me and are reading this now).  I hope I didn’t Budha drive to your school and get a bunch of duds.  I look forward to your comments tomorrow.  I’m confident you won’t let me down one bit!!  This is what I went through to get here.  All in a day of the life of KB!!

I’m going to bed…  Sweet accessible f’n dreams!!

Kevin

Well I am now officially home!  It felt great to sleep in my own bed last night and have a proper shower!! It was nice to drive my own vehicle and blast some METAL the way it should sound on my system…  Thunderous and LOUD!  I’m really into the In Flames these days.

I made my way home via Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan.  I spoke in the old bootlegging hub of the AL Capone era yesterday at Riverview Collegiate.  I was first one in a series of presenters and spoke to around 800 grades 7 and 8s.  They were an awesome crowd who came along for the ride that is my story, and for their great behaviour I rewarded as promised with a couple videos.  My bungee video seemed to get people stoked!

I hung around for the remainder of the day and watched and or helped other speakers with their AV.  I was even referenced many times in a paramedic named Ray’s presentation, which I was honoured to be a part of.  At the end of the day I was asked to kind of wrap things up.  I was happy to grab the mic as I always enjoy projecting my voice and being “on”.

I attempted a think tank, and got some good response, but after such a long day the students seemed more into just having fun.  SO we broke into an impromptu Q&A period where I was asked many different questions.  The range was wide…

Q If I could ever walk again, what would be the first thing I would do?
A A long walk on the beach with my sisters

Q What is my favourite element from the periodic table?
A HEAVY METAL (that one caught me off guard)

Q Why do I enjoy sharing our story
A I love to take the tragedy and bring something good from it

Q Do I like Beiber
A I don’t really listen to him, but I do respect a Canadian kid from Stratford, Ontario (where I spoke years ago) who has worked hard for what he has earned and is a great role model for young people

Q If I could marry a celebrity, who would it be
A Beiber

Q If I could go on tour with one band, who would it be
A This one kind of stumped me, so I fumbled a bit and someone yelled out Beiber, in which I replied I can’t tour with Beiber because I am going to marry him and I don’t want to mix business with pleasure…

The questions kept coming.  I finally had to end the day because school was over and rides home and buses were waiting.  It was an awesome experience being a part of Moose Jaw’s Addictions Awareness Day and I thank everyone who attended as a guest, speaker or supporter and especially Erin and her support team for all their hard work!

It was homeward bound from Moose Jaw via the Regina Airport and Calgary.  But before I flew, I wanted to eat.  I spotted a Five Guys Burger and Fries joint along the highway and stopped.  The place was absolutely JAM PACKED!  My friend Robyn who I met through SADD Saskatchewan years ago met me for burgers, and we were hard pressed to find a seat.  Then out of nowhere a young teen approaches me and says “Kevin, you spoke at my school today.  You want a table??”  SO AWESOME!  Here is another reason why I speak…  No not so much free tables at packed burger joints…  More the respect I get from young people.  This gesture totally made my day!  Thanks buddy!!  I hope you read this.

I should wrap this up because I have a presentation at Terry Fox in a little over two hours.  I fly to Vermont tomorrow as well, so pretty jammed pack week. 

Thanks for reading!

Kevin

Sunday, November 27…  Man time flies by!

I will be leaving Winnipeg in a few short hours, but not quite home yet.  I’ll actually be in all three Prairie Provinces at one point today, before ending my travels in Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan.  I really hope I can watch the Grey Cup on the plane and that the wheelie table at Chili’s in Calgary Airport is free, so I can watch a bit there between connections.

The Friends For Life tour ended on a high note for sure.  The final two days were everything I could hope for and more.  In fact, the entire tour exceeded my expectations.  And that was no easy feat considering after my tour here last February the bar had been set really high.

My final two presentations of the tour were Transcona and John Taylor.  My friend Monica from MPI accompanied me on both.  My morning presentation at Transcona went great.  The large audience, sitting on the floor, were perfect.  At the end of the presentation, I spoke with dozens of students and heard much great feedback.  The first student who approached me discreetly handed me a razor blade to throw away.  Pretty awesome!  That makes 3 in a year now since I began sharing Abby’s remarkable story.  This was my first Canadian razor blade I’ve been given to throw away.  If you’re not following the significance of this… someone giving me their razor blade is their way of saying I am not going to cut or self-harm anymore.  Pretty amazing moment, to say the least!

There were some knarly partier guys who approached me and told me repeatedly how my presentation related to them and their choices they have been making.  I explained to these dudes that way back when I first thought I should speak in schools; I pictured guys just like them “getting it” because they would be hearing a story by someone who is like them.  I trust these new friends made some better choices this weekend.  It was hard to leave the school.  People just wanted to hang out and chat, and I was more than happy to do so.  Before I did finally leave Transcona Collegiate I was given a pretty cool arm band.  It’s black and has a four letter word written in white letters.  The same four letter word that the letter on my right ring finger symbolizes.  It matches well.  I in turn passed along my 9 Lives Wildcats arm band, which brought on tears of joy and appreciation by its recipient.  It was a pretty awesome morning!

After a quick multiple appy lunch at Joey (why they changed the name from Joey’s I’ll never know – sounds so dumb!) we headed for John Taylor.  Candy, the counsellor from the Thursday afternoon’s presentation was there, so all was set up and easy breezy good to go.  There was a brief We Day presentation before I took the stage, which had me wondering about time.  I really didn’t want to rush my final presentation of the tour or be cut short.  But thankfully I was assured by one of the staff who seemed to make the decisions that I had all the time I needed.  Say those words to me, and you’re getting a long one!

The set up was kind of awkward, but likely the only option due to the size of the student population.  There were about 15 rows of chairs on the floor, making it hard for the majority to see me sitting and speaking at their same height.  There were small bleachers to my left and a second story section of filled bleachers to my right.  This was basically 3 set ups in one.  Thankfully MPI provided me with a wireless lapel mic, so I was able to be mobile and weave in and out of the crowd.  It added a new element to my presentation, and I enjoyed this final talk.  Every point that I have added and worked out over the past 17 presentations I had time to emphasize, elaborate and ad-lib.  I talked about violence and guns in relation to my friend Chris’s passing a couple years ago.  I tied this in with bullying and even added cyber-bullying after seeing some pretty disturbing Facebook stills sent to me via a bullied student from Vermont.  Bullying led to suicide, which led to Jordan’s story, which was wrapped up explaining how by adding these issues to my story I have heard from many more students.  Although it went really long, I feel this was one of my strongest presentations of the tour and the year.

I felt great as I rolled out of John Taylor.  I had just given my all in my final presentation of an 18 school tour.  Students had shown me their appreciation and so had staff.  I felt a great sense of accomplishment and secretly kind of wished I had one more week left to tour around Manitoba with MPI.  In less than a year I have spoken in 38 Manitoba schools.  I have spent many days and nights here, seeing the city and countryside, meeting people, dining occasionally wining.  I have met many great people who I know I will be friends with for a long time…  Maybe even Friends For Life…  Such a great name for a tour.  No I never came up with it and am not tooting my own horn here. 

I`d like to thank everyone from MPI, T.A.D.D., and Manitoba School Board for organizing and inviting me to be a part of these tours.  HUGE thanks to all of the schools for accommodating and welcoming me into your halls, gymnasiums and occasionally theatres.  MASSIVE thanks to all of the students who have cheered, laughed, cried, thanked in person or wrote me, given me gifts or taken one away.  I do this for you.  I am also very thankful for the staff at the Inn At The Forks and The Current Restaurant and Lounge where I have slept, eaten and lived for a good 3 weeks of the last year.  I feel right t home here and never want to leave.  Hence asking for an extension on my checkout this morning!

The journey continues this afternoon onto my next location, but none of you or these experiences will be forgotten.  I truly hope to be able to make Manitoba an annual stop in my travels.  I love coming here, and I hope you all love me coming here too!

Well, I better get moving.  I have a big travel day ahead and a football game to try and watch.  Go Lions!  Haha.  After this great trip, I won`t be upset of the Bombers take it though.  Winnipeg is like a home away from home for me.  Go Jets!

Bye For Now.

Kevin

So today was the friggin’ BEST!  Can I keep saying that and it still have an impact??  Well, in my opinion I can, and I will say it again…  Today was the BEST!

I ended my first presentation this morning at Fort Richmond School in Winnipeg and watched my video and the audience as they watched it for the first time (all except the student who had seen me in Steveston / London School last year anyways – It was his second time seeing my video).  This feeling came over me.  It was a familiar one.  I have felt it before, but not enough for it to be at all taken for granted.  I don’t know the word or words to describe this feeling: Happiness, pride, gratitude, accomplishment, purpose, excitement.  All of these words fit, but not one alone begins to explain or justify this amazing feeling I speak of.  If you vocabulary is deeper than mine, please feel free to comment and help me on this one.

The video ends and I say exactly what I have been thinking through the entire video’s duration.  I can’t recall my exact words, but the jist of it was…  Eleven years ago when I was lying in a hospital bed, I would have never guessed I would be where I am today.  Lying in that hospital bed, my future seemed bleak.  It was terrifying.  So much so, I preferred then to not even think ahead of the moment I was living.  My world was broken.  I had broken other people’s world around me.  It was the worst feeling I have ever experienced.  But I never gave up.  I never quit.  I couldn’t.  I just kept going.  I was going forward, kind of, my life seemed backward.  Nothing was certain.  And I pretty much just existed with no plan and no goal other than survival.  Which leads me back to today.  I would never be where I am today, if I had of quit yesterday.  I am so grateful I never quit.  I am so grateful to be hear right now doing what I get to do each day.

After a standing ovation by the 1000+ attendees at Ft Richmond to glaze the cake, I spent well over an hour visiting with students and hearing their stories, and about their gratitude for me telling mine.  There is a chance if I didn’t have another presentation to attend this afternoon, I would still be at Fort Richmond right now.  I left the school on top of the world and want to thank everyone from today for being absolutely amazing to me.  Your were the perfect audience.  Thanks for the gifts, thanks for the thanks.  Many told me that today was the best presentation you had ever seen.  I felt as though today was as good of a presentation as I have ever given.  It feels pretty good to give your all and learn that it was recognized and appreciated.  Thanks, Thanks, Thanks!!

The only thing bad I can say about Fort Richmond students and staff is that you made it really hard for the next school to WOW me again!  You set the bar HIGH!

So I roll into Westwood.  And I will admit it is in the back of my mind that I am going to have a hard time topping the morning.  I learn that I am pretty tight on time on this second presentation.  But I see this challenge as a way to be inspired.  I have essentially two presentation scenarios.  I have one where I have all the time in the world to just relax and say what comes to mind.  The other, I have a certain amount of time to make every single point I want to make, and be heartfelt and effective.  The second is definitely more challenging, but who doesn’t like a challenge?

I dove into the afternoon presentation, speaking as quickly as I could while still making sense to my audience.  They were with me from the beginning.  And again there was that feeling.  I said everything I wanted to say.  I even made a few jokes.  The audience was there with me for the entire journey and by the end they were cheering for me so loud I could feel it rattle me from the inside.  What an awesome feeling again.  And as an added bonus…  some HEAVY METAL horns flying my way from the back row.  This afternoon presentation at Westwood complimented my morning presentation at Ft Richmond perfectly.  The ultimate one-two punch!  What an amazing day!  The BEST day!!

Thanks so much to everyone from Westwood today!  You were an absolutely amazing audience too.  You may not have known that the dude wearing a MANOWAR hoody sitting in a wheelchair before you had some HUGE expectations for you to fill when you first met me.  But if you’re reading this and I hope you are, I’d like to let you know that exceeded those expectations and blew me away today.  SO THANKS THANKS THANKS to you all!!

Tomorrow is the final day of the tour.  It’s hard to believe that I have spoken to 16 schools in 9 days all over southern Manitoba.  Each day has been an experience of a lifetime.  And as I sit here now writing this blog I just feel so grateful that I get to do what I get to do each day that I am here.  This tour is called The Friends For Life Tour and I feel like I have just made thousands of new friends.  I hope thousands of you feel like you have made one new friend named Kevin Brooks!

Speaking in schools wasn’t a plan.  I was going to be an electrician (I said this this afternoon) but sometimes plans change.  My greatest regret is that a young great man named Brendon lost his life.  And it will always hurt to know that my poor choice that night has hurt so many.  But on the darkest days, the light at the tunnel is the gleam in the eyes of thousands of teenagers who are hearing our story and having their lives changed positively because of it. 

I give you my all.  And you give me more than I think I could ever properly explain.  I hope this blog in the very least allows you to understand how much it means to me when you give me your attention and respect.  It means more than I think you know.

GIVE IT ALL

\m/\m/

Kevin

Day 8 of the tour today…  Today was a short one as I only had one presentation.  I spoke this morning at Kildonan East Collegiate in Winnipeg.  I learned before my presentation started that I had a little less than an hour to complete my presentation.  Ummm…  Kind of freaked me out, considering my talks are in the 75minute department again.  So with two cups of Joe providing the energy I spoke as quickly and understandably as I could.

The 400+ grade 10s at Kildonan East were awesome today!  Yet again, I had another positively memorable experience on this MPI Friends for Life Tour.  It was great to have my old pal from MPI, Adam, along today as well as Nate rolling out for some added support.

My afternoon presentation had been cancelled last week after another young man lost his life two weekends ago in a car crash.  So out of 20 schools in two weeks, 2 lost young men to car crashes.  I guess this is a sad reality check of how serious the issue of young people dying in motor vehicle crashes is in Manitoba, Canada, North America… and I am sure the world.  Hearing sad stories like these really makes me hope that the words I speak that are heard, remembered and used.

It was strange to have an entire day to myself here in Manitoba.  I took advantage of the plus zero temperature and sunny skies and did some rolling and exploring around The Forks.  I spent a good hour or so weaving in and out of tiny shops and markets.  I bought a few souvenirs and then headed back for my room, where I have been holed up and writing ever since…  About 6.5 hours now.  You may not be surprised that it didn’t take me many of these six hours to write this blog.  No, most of my time has been spent responding to students and I think the inspiring words and energy levels are depleted.  My gaslight is on, and I don’t think I’ll be filling up again until tomorrow.

I have two more speaking days left here in Manitoba then a weekend to hang out and explore.  It’s hard to believe how fast two weeks go by.  But on the same note, it seems like a really long time since I have been home.  This is my first big tour of the school year, and so far it has been great!  Let’s hope for more to come and if they’re even half as rewarding and awesome as this tour has been I will be stoked!

Thank you Manitobans for being the great people you are.  I feel right at home here, especially when I can wear a hoody in the middle of November!!

Night!

KB

Pretty sick day today.  I was feeling a lot less haggard than I was yesterday.  Not sure why, but I felt like a zombie yesterday, and if you read my last blog you may have noticed me not write like me normally would.

I had  a pretty decent sleep last night after filling my belly with scallops, chicken and spuds.  The food at the Inn at The Forks, where I am staying, is phenomenal.  So after my feast,  I read and responded to a few emails then went to bed feeling proud of the work I have been doing so far during this Friends For Life Tour.

My MPI chaperone du jour today was Monica.  She had been my contact throughout the booking process and I’d met her briefly at the media event last Friday then again at the dinner afterwards, but besides that I didn’t really know her.  That all changed today.  Monica likes Mad Caddies, Bad Religion, NOFX, Pennywise and a long list of punk bands I love as well.  Can you say insta-friends??  Insta-Friends For Life!!  I tend to bond instantly with anyone who digs punk or good metal.  I introduced Monica to Ellwood, a Mad Caddies side project, as we made our way to Woodlands.  Yeah. Yeah!  If you hit that last link tell me this band isn’t SICK!!

These tours are interesting because I basically type the location of my first presentation into my GPS each morning then just give’r to where she takes me.  I had no clue where Woodlands was.  I had no clue what age the students were.  In fact, my GPS only took me to the highway, so I had to use my finding-rural-schools-that-don’t-show-up-on-the-GPS instinctual skills that I have built over the years to locate our destination.

The sign said Woodlands Elementary School…  Hmm…  I thought maybe the high school was attached.  I asked the secretary inside if this was the high school and learned no it wasn’t.  Fortunately before I headed fast out the door to find the “high school” I supposed I was speaking at I was informed that on this morning I would be speaking here at Woodlands Elemntary School to grade 5 – 8s.  Now speaking to grade 5 – 8 is a lot different than say grades 10 – 12.  If you’ve seen my presentation or even just hung out with me for a while you’d know my sense of humour is not exactly always appropriate for your average 10 or 11 year old.  But I can keep er real when I have to…

So I watched my language and did my best to be relatable to little people more than a third my age (grade 7s & 8s you weren’t that little, but some of the folks up front were tiny!)  My talk ended up going longer than normal, which of course is really long, but the students whether they be wee or big were absolutely awesome!  I figured an hour plus of listening to some “old man” talk (they called me Mr Brooks) might be a bit much to expect.  Yet, there they were… these awesome students at Woodlands listening, participating and showing so much respect as I tried to keep them engaged.  It was a very special morning, and one that I will not soon forget.  You are all AWESOME if you read this.  And I am glad you were such good listeners.  I bet you never guessed I am as old as, or even older than ome of your parents.  Punk Rock keeps one young!  Or maybe it;s just the fact that I DON’T WANNA GROW UP!

Monica and mine’s next stop was Warren, where we had learned earlier that all of the high school aged students from  Woodlands, among others, attended.  We were welcomed into the school and fed lunch in the staff room.  We shot the breeze with teachers and counsellors and such while a very helpful teacher assembled the AV requirements for my presentation. 

The students at Warren were really cool today.  It was a pretty full room, and I chose to yell as opposed to wear a headset mic and look like Slapchop Guy or worse yet, Brittany Spears.  I feel like a bit of a prima donna when I decline the headset, but I am Kevin Brooks afterall, not Garth Brooks – no relation in case you were wondering!  So for about seventy minutes I projected my voice as loud as I could and all-the-while felt my words connecting with 200+ students.  This was a great way to compliment an already awesome day!  Thanks to everyone from Warren.  It was great hanging after and chatting and taking pictures too.  Oh and I think it’s safe to say that you tagged the Friends For Life banner today more than any other school to date that I have seen!  Nice work! Very Nice!

So that’s about it.  Back in my room now and firing off a blog before I head for Thai food.  As tasty as The Current restaurant is here at Inn at the Forks, I am going to be adventurous tonight.

This tour just keeps rolling along with one positive experience after another.  I am very grateful to be back in Manitoba and for the opportunity I have had to meet so many great people!

kòp kun táng

\m/\m/

Kevin

Last week ended on a high note…  A super high note! 

I spoke in Wawanesa as my final presentation of the week.  On a sad note, my Friday afternoon presentation had been cancelled.  It was decided to be too fresh after a after a boy was killed in a car crash the previous weekend who attended the school.  I couldn’t help but think last week that a family’s world had been torn apart by another tragic fatality.  This sad news was yet another reminder of how important it is to get this message out.  I only hope students hearing presentations make the connection and think before they hop in dangerous situations in vehicles.

The audience at Wawanesa were awesome!  As good as it gets!  I really felt on my game after nine presentations in five days, and it seemed to be working for the students in the auditorium.  Thanks everyone from Wawanesa!

From Wawanesa, Chris and I made our way to Winnipeg to hopefully catch the tail end of a media event promoting the Manitoba Public Insurance Friends for Life Speakers tour.  We indeed got to the event in time and were able to watch my dear friends and partner in The Drive To Save Lives, Cara Filler give her heartfelt presentation.  It is a rare occasion that I am on the audience end of a presentation, and it was nice to listen instead of speak for once.  Though I have to admit after hearing Cara’s powerful story and message I felt like grabbing the mic and giving an impromptu presentation.

I also met with many of the great people from MPI and T.A.D.D. Manitoba whom I had met last year.  The event had a very positive vibe, and it was awesome to see those responsible for bringing me back to Manitoba for the second time in less than a year!  Many of us met for dinner at the Spaghetti Factory in the Forks later that evening, before I headed for my bed and a great big and well deserved sleep.

The weekend went by pretty fast.  I got the rest I needed and was up early again today to speak in Carman.  Everyone at Carman today was awesome!  This was the perfect way to start week #2.  After a stellar hour and a half at Carman which included a presentation, an awesome Q&A, some good chill time with students and a radio interview, Jeanie (my MPI chaperone du jour) and I made our way to Morden via a drive-by lunch at Subway.

My afternoon talk in Morden was to a larger audience and just kind of fell together in time as the A & the V was causing some issues.  Actually it was only audio issues, but thanks to a great pit crew we got the presentation going.  The students were great.  They laughed at my jokes and seemed really interested in what I had to say.  It was yet another unforgettable double-header of a day for me.

I am now back at my hotel, and my brain feels pretty fried.  I am not sure why, and you may have noticed if you are a regular blog reader that I’m not firing on all cylinders right now.  So I am going to end this blog and go grab some dinner.  The plan for the night is to respond to as many emails as I can.  I have just under 60 emails lighting up my inbox.  If you’ve written me and haven’t heard back yet, this is why.  I will get to you.

I’m out!

Thanks for reading!!

Kevin

There isn’t a feeling I know better than to know I have helped someone out in some positive way or changed or saved a person’s life.  It’s why I will likely never be able to stop sharing my story with young people.  Here is just one example of the emails I get every single day.  This one made me smile.  They all do!

Hey Kevin,

First off, you’ll realize this has taken me almost half a year to write! Sorry about that! I’m not even sure if you will get to see this, as I’m sure you receive a ton of letters, but I felt like I should write anyway.

I was blessed with the opportunity to hear you speak this past summer at the National SADD Conference in Chicago, Illinois. As soon as I read your story in the agenda book, I made sure to remember to be downstairs early to get a good seat. Your presentation really changed my outlook on life. I could relate, in some way, to everything you had to say. My brother had neuroblastoma stage IV cancer when he was born, and our hometown doctors here in Iowa did not catch it. It then spread and damaged his spine. Consequently, he has been in a wheelchair his entire life.

When you mentioned your sister wishing on her birthday that you could walk, I was reminded of myself. I did the same thing for my birthdays when I was younger. I could also relate to the loss of your close friends, especially the suicide incident. I am now a senior, but I remember the events of my sophomore year as though they happened yesterday. The summer before that year, a friend hanged himself. Five days later, my best friend’s mom died of cancer. Only four short months later, he committed suicide – no warning, no note… Just gone. That was and still is the hardest thing I had gone through. I thought it was all over, but then in March, of that school year, a good childhood friend was messing around on buildings uptown and was accidentally electrocuted to death. Not even a week later, the day of his funeral, another friend committed suicide.

When our town felt like we would break if anything else happened, another acquaintance, who had just graduated only three or four days earlier, accidently overdosed on deadly combination of pills at a “pharm” party.

Now the point of telling you all of that is – your ‘slogan’ “Just Wiggle Your Toes” hit home with me, hard. When you started talking about the guilt, the emotions, the depression, etc. I immediately broke down as I realized I had felt the same way. Then when you told us to wake up each morning and wiggle our toes to remind ourselves to be grateful, I realized that I had been letting all of those events hold me back. I now wake up each morning and wiggle my toes. Every time something is really getting me down, I remember to be grateful for what I do have, instead of letting what I have lost drag me down from my full potential. Basically, what I am trying to get across by sharing all of this is that you helped me to be able to move forward. Even two years and a month later, the lost of my best friend is still surreal, but you helped me to really start healing.

I cannot explain how grateful I am to you for taking the time to come and speak to us. Your story, persistence, outlook, etc. are truly inspiring. I admire how you have turned a tragic event around to help other people. I know this isn’t enough to express my gratitude, but thank you, thank you, THANK YOU.

Sincerely,
Morgan Chapman

P.S. I enjoy following you on Twitter & having you as a friend on Facebook. It is cool to see what you are doing and what you have to say about things. Also, your pictures have had a huge impact on my brother (as I have shared a couple) and I. I was amazed by the pictures of you bungee jumping in your wheelchair and shared them with him, as I feel he sometimes is discouraged by the fact he cannot walk. He thought that was the coolest thing ever, so thanks for showing others that they can do whatever they want!